Project C
by Kimmimaru
Summary: A Mutant, A Monster, A Failure. Cloud, tortured by nightmares, experiments and Sephiroth and driven to the edge of madness, his only way of coping is in the arms of his best friend. (CloudXSephiroth and CloudXZack, very much slash. A kind of re-write of my Eien series and will basically follow the story of the main game and Crisis Core with a few additions and ideas of my own)
1. Chapter 1

FF7: Project C

 _XXX_

 _Am I...Human?_

 _XXX_

The child lay wrapped in a blanket the colour of the sky, his bright, inquisitive blue eyes gazed up at the woman smiling down at him. "He's beautiful." Said another woman, this one wearing a white coat and was wiping her freshly washed hands on a towel, she smiled and moved close to the woman sitting in bed. "What are you going to call him?"

The new mother looked up, tears in her exhaustion filled eyes. "I will call him Cloud."

"That's a lovely name." The mid-wife replied, bending a little and stroking the babes fine blond hair.

At that moment there was a knock at the door, the midwife turned with a frown before moving to open it. At the door were two smartly dressed men in dark blue suits flanking a hump backed man in a white lab coat. The new mother's grip automatically tightened on her child, her own blue eyes were wide as fear settled into the pit of her stomach. She knew these men only by sight, she had lived in Nibelheim all her life and had seen Professor Hojo on many occasions as he came and went from the old Shinra Mansion. She had no idea why they were there, her skin prickled as Hojo's small, evil little eyes moved down to the boy clutched in her arms. "He is the one." The man said, smiling in a way that sent chills through her weakened body.

"Wha-what?" She breathed as the two men in suits moved towards her, she held her son tightly, despite the fact that he had begun to struggle with discomfort. "No! No! Y-you cannot take my son!"

"Ma'am, please, we're not here to fight you. Just hand the child over to us and we will return him as soon as possible." One of the men said calmly, she looked at him and away quickly, her eyes moving around the small room as if searching for an escape. Her eyes landed on the mid-wife who was stood in a corner looking afraid.

"Help!" She screamed and leapt from the bed, her sweat and blood stained night dress flapping around her ankles as she stumbled. She was still too tired and bruised from the birth, unable to move fast enough as the other man, the one who had not spoken, moved to prevent her from rushing the door. She backed away, holding Cloud to her breast, he began to make a soft snuffling sound that warned her he was going to cry. "Please, I beg you, don't take my baby! I-I'll give you anything! I-I don't have much money b-but what I-"

"Woman, we do not need your money." Hojo said coldly from where he still stood by the door. "Hand over the child and no one will be hurt."

Her eyes moved towards the bedroom's only window, she swallowed in terror as the thought of leaping from it entered her mind. But she knew that the baby would not survive such a fall, her lips parted, perhaps it would be better for him? Hojo was well known in these parts, people whispered fearfully behind their hands about his sick experiments. She could guess why they wanted her Cloud. As she contemplated her next move one of the men moved and snatched Cloud from her arms. Her scream shattered the sleepy silence of the town, she felt something hit her in the back of her neck and her legs gave way, she collapsed and sank into darkness as the screams of her son followed her down.

XXX

"Sir?"

"Not right now, boy, I am incredibly busy!" Hojo snapped from where he was stood beside some sort of small container that emitted a glow. He turned to glare at the six year old boy standing by the door of the laboratory, he had one elegantly pale hand resting casually on the door frame, his silvery white hair reached his shoulders and he blinked those eerie green eyes.

"I understand that, sir but I heard crying." Sephiroth said softly, moving his head in an attempt to stare past Hojo towards the source of the cries. His face a perfect picture of curious innocence.

"That is none of your business, now leave!" Hojo waved an impatient hand and turned his back. Once again crying filled the room and Sephiroth cocked his head to the side curiously as he watched Hojo jot down some notes into a book, he sighed softly and turned away. In truth he was bored, he hated coming back to the place he had been born, he had nothing to do and was never allowed to even leave the boundaries of the Shinra mansion. He could have read but there were only certain sections of the library he had access to and too many of those were heavy science books that he had little to no interest in. He had asked, when he had been younger, if he could have a play mate and each time Hojo had merely laughed at him. He was not allowed to play with anyone, he was shut away and only spoke to people in white coats. The people who looked after him. He enjoyed his lessons and his training, a sword felt so natural in his hands and his tutor had already told him he was a prodigy. His only concern was that he was lonely, it was horrible watching all his scientist care-takers talk happily about their own social lives, he was jealous. He walked away from the sounds of the crying child, only glancing back once over his shoulder when the crying finally stopped before continuing back up to the upper floors.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I apologise if this chapter is as screwed up as the other uploads have been. I have been trying to fix it but nothing seems to be working! Ugh. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it if it is ok to read. Thank you.**

Chapter One: Beginning

Cloud sat outside the house, he drew his knees to his chest and frowned down at the dusty floor as he scraped a random pattern into it with a stick. He could hear their voices, chattering blithely away as if the recent tragedy hadn't happened. He wondered why Tifa put up with it, they were stupid, stupid and vain and shallow. Cloud would never let anyone talk that cheerfully around Tifa if he was there, it was surely hurting her. The loss of her mother was well known already, a small town held too many gossips. He had come as soon as his mother had mentioned it, ignoring her cries as she told him to be back in time for dinner, he had flown out the door and run to Tifa's house, once again gazing up at the window as if it were a window into her soul. He didn't know exactly why he kept doing this, he knew that they didn't like him, that they thought he was weird but he couldn't help himself. He refused to admit that he came because he wanted to become a part of their little group, he didn't like to think that he was as stupid as they were. He sighed and kicked at a nearby stone, shifting into a more comfortable position before closing his eyes and listening to the friends gossip within. "I want...to see...Mother." Cloud looked up just as the sound of feet reached him, he stood up as the door to the house opened and Tifa ran out into the sunlight. He saw her friends follow her and paused, he watched where they were headed and bit his bottom lip, his eyes moving back to the house in a moment of indecision. Then he broke into a run, following them as they passed by the empty Shinra Mansion and towards the dangerous mountains.

Tifa's friends abandoned her one by one until she was alone, Cloud followed her, ignoring the others as they returned home again. He was worried, terrified of what could happen to her out here. There were monsters and people always went missing in the mountains, he didn't understand what Tifa was thinking as he watched her run across an ancient wooden bridge. He paused and gingerly put his weight on it, there was a loud snap, Tifa screamed and Cloud felt his feet shift beneath him. His eyes had time to widen before he was weightless, then gravity took hold and dragged him down into the deep canyon where he fell with a crash. He gasped, pain lancing through his knees and slowly he rolled over onto his back, gazing up into the twilit sky. After a moment to recover from the shock he slowly got to his feet, shaking his head and wincing as he looked down at his knees and saw that his trousers had gaping holes in them and blood seeped sluggishly from two minor wounds. He looked back up, barely even wondering at this miracle. He saw Tifa lying unconscious, he ran to her side and knelt down, ignoring the renewed pain and shaking her gently. "Tifa?! Tifa?!" He muttered, panic lancing through him as he wondered how she was injured. Blood stained the side of her face from a wound on her hair line, her eyes were closed and he couldn't tell if she was breathing, panic fluttered in his chest.

"Cloud! Why'd you bring Tifa to a place like this!" Cloud looked up, blinking in shock as Tifa's father appeared with another man from town, he opened his mouth but couldn't seem to form words as Tifa's limp body was lifted into the air. "What the hell's the matter with you!? What if she dies?!"

Cloud watched as the two men left him, taking Tifa with them. He swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat and lowered his head. Bitter tears stung his eyes and he choked on them before he slammed his fist angrily into the ground, he was too weak. Too weak to save Tifa, too weak to stop her from hurting herself. "Damn it!" He hissed, slowly getting to his feet again and furiously wiping his eyes, infuriated at himself for not being able to help when she had needed it most.

When he returned home his mother ran to him, tears streaming down her face as she wrapped him tightly in her arms. He let her hug him as he stared over her shoulder, not even seeing the battered wall paper or the pictures that hung on the wall. She released him when she realised he wasn't responding to her questions and gazed into his face, her own a mask of concern. "Cloud, what on earth is the matter?" She asked softly. "Did you get hurt in that fall? I heard from Tifa's father that she is in a coma...oh...oh i'm just so glad you're ok."

"Yeah...I'm fine." Cloud whispered, frowning a little at this fact. He had fallen the same distance as Tifa and yet had somehow come away with only scraped knees, how on earth had that happened? He opened his mouth to ask his mother but she merely smiled and wiped a little dirt from his face, he cringed away and she stepped back.

"Dinner's ready, if you're hungry."

Cloud shook his head and wrapped his arms around himself, he glared at the worn carpet. "Not hungry."

"Cloud...?"

"I'm going to bed."

"Cloud...wait!" He ignored her and tramped up the stairs, he passed a picture in the hall way and stared at it. It showed his mother standing beside another man, a man he had never known. He gazed at the image of his father before turning away again, he didn't care about the man, he had left before he was born and Cloud had no interest in him. He went to his bedroom and threw himself into bed, burying his head in the pillow as he re-lived the days events. He could only hope that Tifa was going to pull through.

Seven days passed and during that time Cloud had made up his mind, he had discovered a picture of a man in the newspapers. The man was tall with oddly beautiful sweeping silver hair, in the article he was hailed as a hero and Cloud felt his heart skip. The man's name was Sephiroth, he was young but a prodigy of ShinRa's SOLDIER division, Cloud was fascinated. Perhaps if he joined up he could become strong like Sephiroth, maybe if he was stronger he could protect Tifa. Maybe if he was stronger people would finally notice him. He had stuck the picture to his bedroom mirror and he gazed at it every morning, today, as he looked at his reflection, he saw the large bruise beneath his eye and grimaced. He had come home with it and refused to answer any of his mother's questions about where he had got it, she didn't let him see but he knew she was devastated by his sudden change in attitude. The anger he felt towards his own failings had turned outward and he was taking it out on anyone who dared even look at him funny, he started fight after fight and never backed down, no matter the sighed heavily, he knew that he was causing his mother pain, he knew that at night she sat downstairs, clutching a picture of his father and cried silently but Cloud couldn't bring himself to explain. He had a plan now, he only had to work out how to get his mother to agree to let him go.

When he proposed the idea his mother gazed at him for a long time in calculating silence, then, slowly, she sat on the sofa and clasped her hands between her knees. "Was this brought on by what happened to Tifa?" She asked softly, her blue eyes searching her son's face. He was so young, only fourteen and had such a long future ahead of him. It made her sad to see just how much he had grown.

"It doesn't matter. I've decided that it's what I want to do." Cloud replied, gazing at her in determination.

"Well...if it's that important to you then I can't object." She said with a soft sigh. She had known ever since those men had taken her baby away from her after he had been born that something like this would happen. She had no idea what they had done to him and she had no wish to know but it hadn't appeared to have made much of a difference, he was an apparently normal boy although he had been an unusually quiet baby and he had such difficulty making friends that it sometimes broke her heart but he had been a happy toddler and now he was very nearly a man. She saw the surprise on his face and smiled sadly, he had obviously been expecting resistance. She thought that it was better he go of his volition, somehow she knew that there was a chance that those men would be back and they would once again prize her baby boy from her fingers. It was better he go willingly and without knowing the terrible truth of what had happened on the day of his birth. "You may go, if it is what you really want, but just promise me that you will look after yourself." Slowly, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds, a smile spread across Cloud's face. It was a beautiful thing and she only wished he smiled more often. He wasn't what people would call handsome, on the contrary he was almost pretty. She knew it annoyed him when people brought this up, as if it were a slight on his masculinity, but she had always silently agreed with everyone else. He was a very pretty boy, his pale blond hair only a shade lighter than her own, his large, almost innocent blue eyes the exact colour of the sky. She smiled again as Cloud turned and, without another word, ran upstairs. Sadness crept into her soul, she felt as if something was happening beyond her control, somehow fate had decreed that Cloud was destined for greater things than what this small, quiet mountain town could provide and it scared her.

XXX

Cloud yawned widely as he climbed out of his small, uncomfortable bed. He rubbed at his hair and gazed blankly around the room. His dorm mate, Johnny, was just stirring as Cloud got up and went towards his wardrobe. "Hey man, what time is it?"

"Just past six." Cloud replied quietly as he rummaged around for his uniform and toothbrush, he found them and tucked them under his arm along with his boots. "I'm going to get a shower, we've got duty until three."

"Uh-huh."

When he was dressed and washed he went to the loud mess hall and sat alone, eating in silence as people around him greeted their friends and laughed. When he was done he put his tray away and went to begin morning duties which, according to his schedule, were to be guarding the executive offices, apparently there was an important meeting. He walked with his helmet under one arm as he checked the weeks schedule on his phone and was joined by Johnny who looked unusually tired. "We're together today." He said and yawned again widely.

"Hm." Cloud said, putting away his phone and lengthening his stride.

"We've been here half a year and you still barely talk."

"I...don't have much to say." Cloud replied softly, seeing his friend shake his head in confusion. They reached the lift and pressed the button, it began to rattle upwards slowly, Cloud watched the floors light up when they reached them until it dinged softly and the doors swished open. They walked in silence down the richly carpeted hall way and Cloud shoved his helmet on his head as they reached the right room and peeked inside. The room was full of men in suits, they were all talking softly and sitting around drinking coffee, Cloud watched as one of the men looked up and nodded his head in acknowledgement before the door closed and the two of them stood either side of it, ensuring that no one entered without permission. Hours ticked by slowly, Cloud's friend grew restless and began fidgeting a little until finally the door opened to reveal a man with short black hair, he turned a cool gaze on Cloud and handed out a sheaf of papers. "Take these down to the labs, give them to Professor Hojo." He ordered and Cloud took them, he nodded once and set off, hearing his companion sigh heavily.

The labs were well known to be a place to avoid to every new recruit. Everyone had some horror story regarding the sterile floor, with its weird experiments and monsters in cages. Cloud shivered as he reached the lift and pressed the button to go down, he waited in silent anticipation before the doors opened and revealed the lab in all its white and chrome glory. His feet moved forward before he had considered what he was doing, he could see the hunched figure of a man standing before a large glass container containing a monster Cloud had no name for. "S-Sir?" He stammered, clutching the sheaf of papers tightly as he waited for the man to turn around.

"A moment." The man said as he pushed a few buttons and the container holding the monster rose upwards. Finally he turned around and Cloud had to fight with his instinct to flee. "Yes?"

"I-uh-I was told to give you these..." He held out the papers and they were snatched out of his hands as Professor Hojo rifled through them, muttering to himself. Cloud waited to be dismissed but it seemed the professor had forgotten he was there. The lift doors opened behind him and he almost yelped, he turned on the spot and saw a sight that made his heart skip a beat. The man was tall, definitely over six feet, his long silver hair tumbled over his shoulders as he strode purposefully towards Hojo, ignoring Cloud completely.

"You called me, Hojo? I am very busy and don't have time to be ordered around by you!" Sephiroth hissed angrily, Cloud shuddered, his arms firmly behind his back as he waited in silence for Hojo to let him go. The smell of disinfectant was almost overpowering and was beginning to make him feel ill.

Hojo looked up at Sephiroth briefly. "I am in need of some more samples, go and sit and wait for me in the usual room."

Sephiroth clenched his teeth, his hands moving as if he were itching to hold a sword and Cloud held his breath in anticipation. "I am not your lab rat!"

"You are what I made you, go!" Hojo muttered, waving a dismissive hand and making Sephiroth growl in anger. Cloud had to admire Hojo's utter lack of fear, if he was in his position he would be wetting himself. That was when Sephiroth noticed Cloud, he blinked, looking down at the small blue clad infantryman as if he had said something to get his attention. When his eyes met Sephiroth's he felt something pull at his heart, he had never experienced anything like it before and he felt himself taking a soft breath. Tension worked its way into his shoulders as he forced his body to remain still and straight. There was an odd pulse inside his head, like a loud heart beat and it wasn't his own. Hojo looked up, his eyes widening then narrowing as he gazed at Sephiroth who was staring at Cloud. "Hmm? Who are you boy?" The professors voice seemed to shatter the spell and Sephiroth blinked rapidly, Cloud felt the tension ease as he turned his gaze towards Hojo instead.

Cloud swallowed a few times in order to get his voice back, being under such intense scrutiny from his idol was a little unnerving. "Strife, sir...Cloud Strife." He said and felt his eyes drawn to Sephiroth once again.

"Strife?" Hojo hummed again, his eyes sparkling and a smirk crossing his thin face. "Remove your helmet."

"S-sir...it's standard to wear it whilst on duty I can't-"

"Remove it!" Sephiroth ordered and Cloud did as he was told, pulling the confining helmet off of his head and staring at the other two with wide eyes.

"Ah yes, interesting, very interesting." Hojo muttered, making Cloud frown a little. Sephiroth seemed not to hear as he stared at Cloud as if he were the most fascinating thing he had ever seen. Cloud swallowed and began to feel a little light headed at all this attention, he lowered his head and gazed down at his feet.

"A-am I...am I able to return to my post now...s-sir?" He asked nervously, shifting as he felt those odd green eyes boring into him, it felt a little like being seared with fire.

"Yes, of course, you may leave Cadet." Sephiroth muttered, as if waking from a dream, he waved a leather clad hand and Cloud scurried off, forgetting to put his helmet back on. Behind him Hojo was smirking.

He finally reached the safety of the lift and hammered the button to return to the executive floors, his heart banged in his chest so violently he thought he was having a heart attack. His hands shook and he had trouble controlling them as he leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath as the door finally closed. As the lift began to move something happened, pain shot through his head as if someone had put a bullet through it. He collapsed to his knees as his vision wavered and with a gasp he closed his eyes and heard soft laughter in the back of his head, as if someone were telepathically laughing at him. The pain grew until he was almost sick, sweat sprang out across his skin and his body temperature rocketed. Then, as the lift doors opened, the pain was gone as suddenly as it had come, taking the laughter with it. After a moment to collect himself he picked up his helmet with one shaky hand and stood on weakened knees before moving out of the lift and back to where his friend waited.

A look of concern crossed Johnny's face but Cloud shook his head. "I'm fine." He muttered and put his helmet back on, standing straight with his hands behind his back as he thought about what had just happened. It was odd and a little scary, he had never felt anything like that before and he worried that he may be coming down with something. He decided to go to see a doctor as soon as possible to find out if it was anything serious.

XXX

"Well, Strife, as far as I can tell you are in perfect health." The woman said, tapping away on her computer before turning to him and smiling. "I think maybe you're just stressed, it happens to so many new recruits. I suggest plenty of bed rest and a balanced diet, cut down on the caffeine as well. I can have your duties rescheduled for a few days if you think that would help?"

"No, thank you, I think I will just have an early night." Cloud said softly, forcing a smile.

"Ok, well, if the headaches get worse come back and we will run some more tests."

Cloud stood and nodded, adjusting his uniform. "Thank you." He said and left the doctors office, he walked away and sighed heavily. So, it was just stress. He didn't feel particularly stressed, after all, his duties comprised only of guard duty and patrols of the SinRa HQ. It wasn't particularly hard, even his training was mild compared to what others endured. He couldn't understand where that terrible, sickening pain had come from, perhaps it was merely a side effect of the smells in the labs? He decided to put it down to that and pretend it had never happened. He walked on, returning to his dorm for an early night.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: AHAHAHA! You cannot understand how happy I am that I worked out a way to get these stupid chapters actually to upload properly (despite the fact that it's a major pain in the arse!) Anyway, I do hope you enjoy what I have written and please, any reviews are always, always appreciated. Thank you in advance. (Oh yeah, the script for the Modeohiem bit is taken from a Japanese-English translation as I couldn't remember the exact wording so its kind of a weird mix between the Japanese translation and the English script...sorry)**

Chapter Two: SOLDIER

Sephiroth gazed down at the papers on his desk, he read the brief bio of the small blond boy and sighed. Cloud Strife seemed to be nothing special, he was as ordinary as mud, then why did he hold such a fascination for him? He rubbed at his tired eyes and looked over at the clock which told him it was past time when he should be resting. He stood up but took one last look at the image of the blond trooper, his blue eyes as innocent as the child he was. So young to have joined up with such a violent organisation. The only thing about the boy that he found interesting was the fact that he had been born and raised in Nibelheim, exactly the same place Sephiroth had been born. He wondered again why that was, surely there were other children from that town, it didn't make sense that this piece of information should stir such an odd feeling in him. He did vaguely remember that he had taken a visit there with Hojo when he had been six, around the time that Cloud would have been born, but surely that was coincidence? He shook his head. All this drama with Genesis was getting to him, he needed rest to be in top condition in case something worse happened. Finally he closed the file and turned towards the door, leaving it resting on his desk.

XXX

Since meeting Sephiroth Cloud was distracted, he was finding sleep ever more elusive and it did nothing for his temper. When he went to his first training session since his strange encounter things got worse. They were practising hand-to-hand combat and Cloud somehow managed to get himself paired off with one of the largest boys in his group. When they faced off against each other Cloud found himself easily outmatched, despite his many attempts to use the giant's weight advantage against him he still ended up having his arm twisted so badly he felt it felt break. He gasped and was thrown brutally onto the mat, all the air in his lungs leaving him in a whoosh. He lay still, gasping as his vision turned grey and his opponent smirked down at him. "I beat Pretty-Boy." He said to a few titters from the surrounding students. Cloud tried to speak but nothing came out, he felt his back ache and the pain in his arm was almost making him black out. "I kind of like seeing you down there on your back, bet you spend a lot of time like that. You're not cut out for SOLDIER, maybe a post at the Honey Bee Inn would be better?" More laughter made anger pulse through Cloud, clearing his head a little as he struggled valiantly to his feet. He growled a little and, without any other warning ran at the hulking boy, sending him flying backwards with a cry. Cloud landed on his chest and raised his good fist, slamming it straight into the boys nose and shattering it. He felt cartilage break, blood spurted from his face and he made an awful gurgling sound.

Suddenly strong arms wrapped around Cloud's chest and he was hauled off the boy, dragged backwards and slammed back into the mat, he found himself gazing up into the furious face of his tutor. "Strife! Calm yourself!" He shouted. Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his rage receded and left him with only pain. "What the hell was that? You could have killed him!"

"S-Sorry...s-sir..."

"Get up and get yourself to the Medical Wing, now." Cloud climbed laboriously to his feet and stumbled towards the door, he noted that his class mates stepped away as if he was carrying a contagious disease. He somehow managed to find his way to the Medical floor without too much issue and stumbled in through the open doors, he was greeted by a nurse who took one look at him and ushered him into a curtained off area, forcing him onto the bed. "The doctor will be here soon, stay." She said firmly and left him where he was.

It was two minutes later that the nurse reappeared with a man in a white coat at her side. "Sir, I'm sure Doctor Hazzard will be ready to see him soon, you really don't have to do this."

"Nonsense, girl. I have the knowledge to heal such a minor injury." Cloud felt chills run down his spine and his eyes widened as Hojo stepped into view, the nurse looked worried and she shot Cloud an apologetic look. His smile was awful and Cloud swallowed nervously, the pain in his arm was a dull throb now that he wasn't moving it but Hojo bent and lifted it, causing him to hiss. "Hmm...Interesting...How did this happen?" Hojo asked, looking at Cloud as if he were some new bacteria in a Petri dish.

"T-training, sir." Cloud replied breathlessly, hating the feeling of Hojo's fingers on his skin. He could see it was swelling rapidly and Hojo did not seem to be making any moves to heal the injury.

"An accident? Hmm. Such a trivial thing." Hojo muttered to himself as he pressed down hard on the break, Cloud's vision turned grey and he grunted, biting on his lower lip and swaying dangerously where he sat. "Does that hurt?" Cloud wanted to punch him and take that stupid smirk right off of his ugly face. Hojo merely chuckled. "That look won't do anything to me, boy. I have dealt with a look similar to that from a far more powerful man."

"Mr. Hojo, sir, please, the doctor is here now." The nurse said nervously, her eyes lingering on Cloud who was as white as a sheet, his eyes as bright as if he had a fever.

"Oh, I don't think the doctor need be concerned with this one." Hojo said without looking at the uncomfortable nurse. "I will be taking him to my laboratory."

"N-no...I'm fine..." Cloud whispered hoarsely, yanking his arm out of Hojo's grip and ignoring the way his face fell in irritation. He rolled down his sleeve and stood up, swaying a little and blinking to clear his head. "I'll heal. I always do." He stumbled for the exit, hearing the nurses complaints and Hojo's laughter echoing in his ears. He had never met a more creepy man and he knew he wanted nothing to do with him, ever. He got back to his dorm and rummaged around in the lockers for a first aid kit, when he found it he took out some bandages and made a make-shift splint from an old wooden hanger. He set his arm, gritting his teeth and hissing air through them as he wrapped it tightly in bandages. He would have to heal it without Materia, he refused to let Hojo anywhere near him although he had no idea why the man showed so much interest in him, they had only met once and that was briefly. He sighed shakily when he was done and took several pills for the pain before lying back on his bunk and closing his eyes, he would sleep for a while and forget about the weird day.

XXX

"You really should get that looked at." Johnny said, indicating Cloud's injured arm, three weeks after the incident.

"It's fine, it doesn't even hurt anymore." Cloud replied, lifting it up to prove that he was telling the truth.

"What the hell, man? How did it heal so quickly? Are you hiding Materia from everyone?"

"No." Cloud stared down at his food, or at least what passed for food in the Mess hall. "I've always been a fast healer." He muttered and spooned some of the unappetizing slop into his mouth.

"There's being a fast healer and then there's near miraculous healing abilities." Johnny replied, taking a sip of water before standing up. "Anyway, I'm on Patrol in the entrance hall tonight. Won't be back till late." Cloud nodded as Johnny left him, he looked back down at his food and forced himself to finish it. It was times like this that he missed his mother, she was an excellent cook. Finally he finished and stood up himself, as he reached the hall way his PHS beeped loudly. He sighed heavily and opened the message; _Please report to Briefing Room 10._ Cloud sighed heavily, that was his early night out the window. He turned around and made his way towards the lift, excitement ran through his veins as he realised that this meant he was being sent on his first mission.

He smiled despite his tiredness, he hadn't been sleeping well lately due to nightmares he could never remember in the morning but now he felt re-energized at the thought of actually going on a mission. The briefing room was already full when he got there, he saw Director Lazard, recognising him from his induction, along with someone he recognised as a Turk and another man in a First Class uniform. Cloud stood with another infantryman, he saluted and stood still with his arms by his sides. "As I am sure you are all aware," Lazard began, "There has been a mass desertion of ShinRa operatives since SOLIDER First Class Genesis went missing in action." Lazard paused to run his gaze over the gathered people, before him were stacks of papers which he touched lightly. "I want you all to go to Modeoheim where there has been an unusual rise in the numbers of Genesis clones. You will go there and find out the reason why. Dismissed."

Cloud wondered just what he had been missing out on, he had been so immersed in his own life that the problems of the wider world seemed to have passed him by. They were to get to Modeoheim by helicopter, at this Cloud felt his stomach twist in dread, it was not going to be a fun ride. When they were in the air he attempted to calm his sickness by going through the mission brief, after having asked his fellow infantryman for it. It helped enough so that he didn't vomit in the unknown First Class' lap, for which he was eternally grateful. When the monsters attacked Cloud was too scared to even scream. The helicopter crashed, sending snow and debris everywhere and he was lucky enough to have leapt from the carnage before he was crushed.

The Turk and SOLDIER moved away a little to talk before the SOLIDER turned and beamed brightly at them. "All right, everyone follow me!"

Cloud scrambled to his feet and followed the First Class, he watched him walking for a while, wondering at what a contrast he was from Sephiroth. He seemed friendly and always ready with a smile, it was kind of refreshing. He realised a little belatedly that the Turk and the other infantryman were lagging badly, he paused and turned back to make sure they were ok. "Hey! Don't be so slow!" The First shouted, smirking a little as he trudged backwards through the snow. He turned to Cloud and gave him an appreciative look. "You seem to be doing pretty good."

"I'm from the country too." Cloud replied, returning the Firsts smile, it was contagious. He felt an instant liking for him, he knew that he couldn't be more than a few years older than himself.

"Where?"

"Nibelheim." The SOLDIER laughed, causing Cloud to frown a little. "What about you?" He asked defensively.

"Me? Gongaga." The man grinned. It was Cloud's turn to laugh. "Are you laughing? You're laughing aren't you? Do you even know Gongaga?"

"No, but it sounds very country-like."

"Ditto Nibelheim." The man replied, grinning.

"You've never heard of it?"

"I've never been there before but there's a Mako reactor there, right? Midgar has the most Mako-"

"But everyone else has none!" Cloud said at the exact same time as the First, they broke into giggles.

The First turned his happy smile onto the exhausted Turk. "Be thankful, Tseng. With me and...?" He turned expectantly to Cloud who gave his name. "With me and Cloud around there's nothing to be scared of at all!" Cloud barely heard Tseng's reply over his own glowing happiness. The First, whose name turned out to be Zack, was unlike anyone he had ever met before. He made the perfect picture of what Cloud thought a Hero should look like. He was always smiling, ready with a joke or two to cheer people up, he was energetic and eager but strong too. Cloud felt himself beginning to wish he could be like that, it would be good to be able to make friends so easily, to be brimful of confidence no matter what. He liked Zack and the longer he was with him the better he got to know him, he was everything Cloud ever wanted to be.

XXX

The mission, in Cloud's mind, was a disaster. He had failed, yet again. Despite that when Zack returned he saw how distressed he was and knew something terrible had happened. Tseng immediately took charge as Zack seemed unable to, he was quiet and brooding, something Cloud assumed was unnatural to him. The Turk seemed concerned as well but every time he asked Zack brushed him off, Cloud didn't understand what was going on and knew that it may have been top secret so he didn't dare ask. Finally, when they were told by Central Command that another transport would be picking them up the next day they found a suitable Inn and shared a room. When everyone fell asleep Cloud heard Zack moving about, he sat up and saw his figure silhouetted against the moonlight, he watched Zack pick up the massive sword he had come back with and gaze at it intently before bowing his head. "Zack?"

He turned and smiled weakly at Cloud before returning the sword to his bedside. "I'm fine, Cloud. Go back to sleep."

Cloud shook his head. "Not tired." He said, he knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep as the nightmares would come and he didn't like the idea of waking up everyone by screaming or something. "What...what happened? If you don't mind me asking."

Zack sighed heavily and ran both hands through his hair before moving to his bed and throwing himself down onto it. Cloud waited patiently as Zack gazed up at the ceiling, the soft glow of his eyes obvious in the dark. "I...I'm not sure." He said finally, with a frown of frustration. "I just don't understand anything that's happening anymore!"

"I'm sorry." Cloud replied, "I know, it doesn't make any difference but I'm sure things will work out."

Zack smiled over at him, a genuine one. "Thanks. Anyway, we'll be moving out early, better get your rest." Cloud hummed in agreement and lay back down, tucking his hands behind his head and listening to the soft sounds of breathing around him. He fell asleep and dreamed once again of green eyes and silver hair.

"Cloud...Cloud! Hey, wake up man, time to go!"

Cloud groaned heavily and forced his eyes open to reveal Zack, fully dressed and gazing down at him in concern. "Is it mornin'?" He asked sleepily and rubbed his eyes.

"Yeah, were you having nightmares? You were mumbling a lot in your sleep."

Cloud shook his head and sat up, his hands grasping the covers of his bed. "Yeah, it's fine though."

"If you say so, get up and get ready, Tseng's complaining and the last thing you want to do is piss off a Turk." Zack gave Cloud an easy wink before moving towards the door, leaving Cloud alone with his thoughts.

XXX

They scrambled off the truck that had picked them all up at Modeoheim, Cloud stumbled as his legs cramped up from sitting down for so long. He groaned heavily with relief, it was so good to finally be off that horrible thing. He had thrown up several times and it hadn't made him feel any better when his fellow infantryman started complaining about it, Zack however had been kind and had given him something that helped a little. He couldn't wait to get back to his dorm and sleep for the rest of the evening. "You did good, Cloud." Zack said as he clapped him on the shoulder and moved away. "I'll see you around." He grinned and Cloud returned it as he watched Zack walk up to Tseng to discuss something.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I wrote loads of chapters in advance so I can update rather fast. Enjoy, and again, I ask for reviews because its good to know that people are reading my stories, also concrit is always appreciated as I write to improve as an author.**

Chapter Three: Hostage

The new mission was supposed to be easy, he wasn't supposed to be bound tightly to a chair in some dungeon somewhere in Corel. He wasn't supposed to be gagged, half beaten and slowly bleeding to death through a terrible wound in his thigh. It was ridiculous, they had only been checking out a reactor, a simple mission that shouldn't have involved any fighting, except for monsters of course. He struggled fruitlessly against his bonds before giving up again and sighing, he closed his eyes and tipped his head back, feeling the hot trickle of blood that trailed down his thigh, staining his skin and uniform. He had been captured by what was left of the terrorists AVALANCHE. He had already told them, repeatedly, that he was not a member of SOLDIER, he was a lackey. Canon fodder. No one would come for him. But they refused to listen, they didn't appear to be all that bright. They had explained that they were suing for ransom, they were certain that ShinRa would negotiate to get him back, Cloud had made the mistake of laughing at that, ShinRa negotiated with no one. He had a black eye to attest to his own moment of stupidity. He had tried pointing out his uniform, the fact that he had been escorting engineers, even the fact that he had actually been kidnapped in the first place but they wouldn't hear any of it. These men were desperate and idiotic, never a good combination.

"You're quite pretty for a SOLDIER." Cloud turned his head towards that voice and blinked a little as blood dripped into his eye from a wound in his head. It was a woman, her face was tanned from the searing sun and she wore ragged clothes and cheap armour. He tried to tell her that he wasn't but the gag prevented him from speaking, instead he shook his head rapidly from side to side. "Oh, I know you're not." The woman sighed and crouched before him, looking into his eyes. "The others though, they have hope that you are and I can't bring myself to tell them otherwise. You see, none of us have ever met a real SOLDIER, but I do know that their eyes glow and, of course, they never would have allowed themselves to be kidnapped." On closer inspection the woman appeared to be in her forties, pity entered her gaze and she sighed. "You're so young, why are they sending children to fight their battles?" Cloud made a noise and frowned a little, he didn't like being called a child, he was fifteen. "You remind me a little bit of my son, which is going to make what is to come that much harder. We cannot be seen to be weak, you understand? I know as well as you do that no one will come for you, you're a nobody, ShinRa don't care." Anger tinted her voice and Cloud's eyes widened. "You realise that when no one responds to our demands that we will have to kill you, don't you?" Cloud swallowed as fear settled into his gut. He wasn't ready to die, although a part of him had always known it was a strong possibility in the profession he had chosen. "We will, of course, send recompense to your family, along with our sincere condolences." She reached up and undid Cloud's gag, still gazing at him sadly. "Where do they live?"

Cloud paused for a moment before letting his head fall forward. "Nibelheim. My mother...she's...all i've got left, please, don't break her heart anymore than it already is!" He clenched his hands into fists and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, his whole body ached horribly and he forced the urge to cry away. "She...she doesn't know anything that's happened to me since I left, I never told her anything, never replied to her messages...What...what she doesn't know can't hurt her. Don't tell her I-I'm-" _A Failure..._ His voice trailed away, he couldn't bring himself to say it but the woman seemed to understand.

The woman opened her mouth to speak but before she could voices interrupted her, Cloud let his head fall back again and listened to his captors. Most of them were men and they were discussing what to do with their prisoner. "He's got to have loads of important info, torture him to get ShinRa's weaknesses!" One of the men insisted. "If he is SOLDIER then he would have been trained how to deal with torture, after all we're not Turks. If he's not...well, he won't know anything anyway." "He is! He has to be! They all got blue eyes aint they?"

"I was born with these eyes!" Cloud muttered, looking at his captors who broke off to stare at him. "SOLDIER have eyes that glow because they're showered in Mako, I have _normal_ blue eyes. My mother's eyes are the same. I'm just a grunt. I...I'm not anywhere near SOLDIER yet. Please, it would be pointless to-" He was cut off as a fist connected with his jaw, his head pounded and he gasped, hiding behind his hair as he let blood drip from his broken lip.

"Jace, please, calm down. He's just a boy." The woman who had been talking to him earlier said softly.

"A pretty boy." Cloud winced at that, he hated the nick name, he had been given it the second his commander had seen his face and it had stuck. "How did you idiots even think he was SOLDIER? Look at him, he's pathetic." Cloud felt something stir inside him at that, distantly he could hear the voices of those who used to bully him echoing similar words. He realised what the emotion was, anger. "He's useless to us, this mission was a failure, we need to get hold of someone who really matters! If there was a chance i'd suggest ShinRa's son...what's that kid's name? Rufus? Yeah, him. He'd be worth a fortune! This one here is trash. Kill him and get someone better."

Slowly, Cloud lifted his head, all he could hear were the words ringing in his ears along with some sort of low heart beat. _Useless_. _Failure_. _Pathetic_. His breathing speeded up, he barely saw the woman's eyes widen and her lips part as laughter, that soft, cruel laughter echoed inside his mind as his restraints snapped.

XXX

Zack kicked open the metal door that lead down to the basement of the make-shift fort. He was fuming. He had heard of the teams capture and forced Lazard to give him time off so that he could hunt Cloud down and rescue him, he knew ShinRa wouldn't bother, he was surprised when Sephiroth had opted to come with him. He remembered how Cloud had even struggled with Hollander, the poor kid wasn't strong enough to get away on his own, Zack couldn't leave him with terrorists. Abruptly Sephiroth, who was following behind Zack, froze. His body stiffened and his hands tightened on his sword, Zack turned and arched an eyebrow at him curiously. He saw Sephiroth's eyes burning brightly and his head turned toward a corridor and he pointed. "He is being kept down there." He said quietly and moved off before Zack could ask how he even knew that. He simply could not understand what the guy was thinking.

He followed and as they drew closer he could hear screams shattering the silence, loud thuds and the sickening sound of cracking bone. Sephiroth quickened his pace, his hands tightening on his sword as Zack drew his own. They charged down the corridor and burst into a room, Zack skidded to a halt, catching his breath as his eyes took in the scene. Cloud was standing above a cowering man, in one hand he held what appeared to be a piece of metal broken off of a nearby overturned chair. His blond hair was streaked with blood and he was trembling, Zack couldn't see his face from this angle but he saw his jaw clenched and his teeth bared. His clothes were bloodstained and ragged, his leg appeared to be injured and Zack could see bruising covering the skin that was on show. Cloud raised the metal bar as if it were a sword and made to bring it down but Sephiroth spoke, his voice soft but the tone of command unmistakeable. "Cloud, hold!"

Cloud froze, his arm raised high above him as the man shrank away from him. Slowly he lifted his head and looked at Sephiroth, Zack stifled his gasp, he could have sworn that his eyes had turned green, the same colour as Sephiroth's. Cloud's arm trembled and finally, after a tense moment, it fell to his side again. He took a breath and stumbled backwards, blinking rapidly as he took in the devastation surrounding him, bodies scattered the room like discarded dolls and Cloud seemed unsure of where he was. The bar fell from his bloody fingers and clanged onto the metal floor before he swayed, Zack ran to his side and caught him as he fell, supporting his weight as conciousness fled. He looked up at Sephiroth who was looking around coldly. "We should return him to ShinRa, it seems that he has done our job for us." He turned and left without explaining anything.

XXX

They returned to ShinRa after Sephiroth called a helicopter. They managed to drag Cloud into the back while Sephiroth contacted HQ and discussed their arrival. Zack sat in the back with Cloud's head resting in his lap, he had never even known that he had been capable of such destruction. It was amazing he hadn't got into SOLDIER yet, but perhaps Cloud too was unaware of his true strength. He remembered those eyes and shuddered, he decided that he had imagined it, especially since it was a scene he would have expected Sephiroth to be involved in, not some cute, quiet infantry soldier. Gently he stroked bloody hair from Cloud's face and watched it contort, he muttered something and Sephiroth looked over his shoulder at them, eyes burning intensely in his face. "What did he say?" Zack asked, curious as to why Sephiroth had reacted to it.

"Nothing." Sephiroth replied, "He is dreaming."

"Oh...right..." The rest of the journey was done in silence, finally they returned to ShinRa HQ. Zack picked Cloud's limp body up and struggled out of the helicopter, he stopped abruptly when he was greeted by a small crowd of scientists, led by Hojo himself.

"Give the boy to me." Hojo demanded as someone wheeled a chair forward.

Zack hesitated, eyes narrowed, no one liked the man. "Why?"

"Do not question me! He is under my jurisdiction now and nothing you can say or do can change that." He waved some papers in Zack's direction.

Sephiroth sneered and clenched his hands into fists. "Give him the boy, Zack. We have other business to attend."

"But..."

"Now." Zack reluctantly set Cloud down in the wheel chair and watched as he was wheeled away, Hojo smirked and turned away.

"Sephiroth, I will need you to come visit the laboratory in an hour." He walked away, chuckling evilly to himself.

"I hate that guy. Shouldn't Cloud have gone to the hospital?"

"He will take care of him." Sephiroth muttered, he seemed oddly distracted as he strode off and Zack deflated, hanging his head and shaking it, this was all too far out of his zone of understanding.

XXX

Cloud opened his eyes, he felt sick and slightly dizzy and his body ached. He tried to move but realised that it took far too much effort, it was much easier to simply lie there.

"Are you still afraid of needles, Sephiroth?"

A chill went down his spine at the sound of that voice and slowly he lifted his head, the light blinded him momentarily but he blinked to clear his vision. It revealed a sterile white room with no windows or decoration but a mirror that hung on one wall, the voices were coming from the ventilation leading to the next room.

"I am no more afraid of needles than I am anything else, I merely dislike them." It took him a moment to realise where he was and when he had he sat upright, instantly regretting the action as pain ripped through his head. He gasped and clutched at it, shaking violently as he did so and trying not to vomit. He swallowed back bile and grimaced before forcing himself to look around and gauge his situation.

"Do not move, Sephiroth, or it will prolong the process."

"Just hurry it along, I do not have time to spend dallying here with you. I have a job to do." Hojo's laugh was as nasty as it always had been, Cloud shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself, realising he was wearing a white hospital gown and little else. "It will be over soon enough and then you may go and chase your beloved Genesis to your hearts contentment."

"We are merely friends." Sephiroth replied softly before taking a breath and Cloud could hear the soft hiss of pain as something happened. " _Were_...we... _were_ merely friends." He corrected himself before Cloud heard the faint bustle of movement from the other side of the wall. "What have you done to that boy, Cloud?"

"Boy? The blond one? He is safe." Hojo replied. "His injuries were not so severe that he needed a doctor, I healed him. Why are you so interested?"

"I..." Sephiroth's voice trailed off before he cleared his throat and seemed to regain his composure. "Zack is worried, he cares for him."

"I see." Cloud could hear the smirk in Hojo's voice and felt sick again, the scent of chemicals and disinfectant was cloying. "Very well, we are done here. I must check upon my other exp-patient."

"I must see the boy to ensure he is safe." Sephiroth insisted but Hojo laughed at him.

"He is safe, trust me."

"Trust you?" Sephiroth laughed this time, a low chuckle that made the hairs all over Cloud's body stand on end. "I trust no one, professor."

"A very wise thing to say. Now leave, go about your business and tell Zack Fair that his princess is unharmed."

"I shall."

 _Princess?_ Cloud's face twisted at that but he pushed it aside to dwell on later as he quickly checked his body for wounds. Sure enough he had a few bandages but many of his lesser wounds had been healed easily with Materia, for that much he was grateful. He could still feel those fists and hate filled eyes and he had no wish to be reminded of them with bruises. He froze as the only door to the room rattled as someone opened it and entered, Cloud fought with his immediate reaction to crawl further back onto the bed and sat still as Hojo himself walked in smiling evilly. "Ah, you are awake." He said with about as much emotion as a log. "I have some tests to run to ensure that you are healthy enough to return to work, it won't take long and very soon you will be back in top condition." He advanced on Cloud with a syringe, Cloud eyed the needle warily and leaned away. "Come now, it won't hurt." Hojo grabbed his arm roughly and before Cloud could protest the needle was emptied into a vein. He winced and yanked his arm free, ripping the needle out and standing up, preparing to bolt for the door but he swayed and stumbled. His eyesight blurred and before he knew it darkness enclosed on him as he collapsed to the floor.

 _ **Cloud...**_

 _Who...who are you?_

 _ **Ha-Ha...**_

 _What's happening? Am I...dreaming?_

 _ **Hee hee...**_

 _What's going on?_

 _ **Cloud...Wake up...**_

His eyes opened to reveal bright, searing light. He closed them again and groaned. He could hear a soft noise, like water dripping from a tap but ignored it. His body burned as if he was on fire and he shook violently from head to toe, his hands twitched by the side of his head and he realised he was lying on a cold, hard floor. Again, he opened his eyes, this time he found himself gazing up at a metal ceiling. He blinked sluggishly and heard soft mutters nearby. He turned his head and found himself gazing out of a large glass container towards Hojo who was at a set of controls talking to another man in a white coat. He shifted but this caused agony to rocket through his body so he stilled again, his voice wasn't working and all he could do was groan. He licked his dry lips suddenly wanting a cold glass of water but no sound came out of his mouth, instead he gazed blankly up at the metal ceiling and tried to order his sluggish thoughts. He hurt everywhere. He was sick and overheated. He wondered if he was going to die and the thought didn't leave him with as much fear as he thought it would.

"Sir, the subject is coming round."

"Put him back out then, we cannot have him fighting us."

Cloud shuddered and rolled onto his side, he closed his eyes tightly but still saw a strange greenish light seep into his eyes despite his eyelids. It was painful. He wanted it to stop. He choked on a scream as he curled into a tight ball, pressing his hands to his head as it felt as if he was being torn apart.

 _S-stop..._

"Up the dosage."

"But sir, he might not be able to handle it..."

"Do as I say!"

"Yes sir."

 _It h-hurts...please...stop..._

There was a terrible whining noise in his head, he felt bile rise in his throat and before he could stop himself he was sick. He groaned again, rolling over, away from the small puddle and twisting in agony. His stomach cramped violently, his hands curling into claws as he shoved them into his hair.

 _Stop! Stop! It's too much!_

"His vitals are going haywire, sir."

"Watch him and if he comes too close we can revive him with some adrenaline."

 _Please...someone...help me..._

A scream was torn from his sore throat, his back arched and he heard the sound of glass shattering before the whine in his head stopped abruptly and his body slumped as he descended once again into unconsciousness.

XXX

He woke in his own bed, momentarily confused as his memories slid from his mind like ice on a hot day. He groaned and rubbed at his aching eyes, slowly he sat up, wincing as pain bit into his back. He gazed around the room and spotted one of the last people he expected to see; Zack was slumped in one of the chairs that normally sat at the only desk in the room. His eyes were closed and he looked as if he had been sat there all night. Cloud shook his head, he was having a difficult time in focussing. "Z-Zack?" He said softly and watched Zack grunt and open his eyes, he blinked and when he saw Cloud a bright smile touched his face, Cloud returned it weakly.

"Hey, man, you're awake!"

"Yeah...what the hell happened to me?"

Zack's face fell into a frown of concern as he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. "What do you remember?"

"I...I'm not sure. I remember...Corel...the reactor...and then...nothing." He frowned a little as he tried to think back, he had reached the reactor with the engineers and then...then what? Sharp pain ignited behind his eyeballs and he covered them with a hand.

"Are you all right?"

"Ugh...just...headache. Trying to remember but...it's all just blank."

"Well, I can fill you in." Zack leaned back, pushing the chair back on its legs as he did so and gazing up at the ceiling. "You were taken hostage, those AVALANCHE idiots thought you were a SOLDIER." Cloud snorted at that, amused that anyone could ever think him important. "I asked for time off to come look for you and found you in their hide out..." Zack trailed off and finally met Cloud's gaze, he seemed to search for something before humming quietly and returning to his story. "You had escaped on your own, taken a few of them down and were about to get another but Sephiroth intervened."

"Sephiroth?" Cloud's eyes widened, why would the Hero of Wutai bother with a grunt like him? Zack smirked, as if he knew what Cloud was thinking.

"I know right? That was one hell of a shocker when he asked to come with me, but anyway, we got you out after you collapsed and got you back to HQ. When we got there Hojo was waiting with papers for you to be put under his care."

"What?!" Cloud's eyes widened. "That doesn't make any sense. I'm just normal infantry, not worth the notice of Hojo..."

"I thought the same but it seems you've become quite popular recently. Anyway, it's been three weeks and now you've been returned with an order to stay off duty for a week to rest."

"Oh..."

"Cloud?" Zack leaned forward, his face a mask of concern as he looked at him intently. "How _are_ you feeling?"

"Fine...apart from a headache. Why?"

"Well...Hojo's not known for his sanity, I was worried he'd do something to you. I'm glad you're ok." Cloud looked away, he did feel odd, as if his body was remembering something his mind had forgotten.

When he looked back up at Zack he realised that he was very close and his smile had changed slightly, Cloud couldn't put his finger on it but it was as if Zack was seeing him differently. "Uh..." Cloud began but before he could speak Zack reached up and ruffled his hair, pushing his head a little as he did so.

He grinned widely and stood up, stretching. "I got to go, shit's hitting the fan and I'm needed. I'll see you around, Cloud." As Zack reached the door Cloud dived out of bed and reached for him, his fingers closed on the back of Zack's top and made him turn around curiously.

Cloud didn't know what had come over him but he stood on tip toe and gazed into those glowing blue eyes, the eyes of a true SOLDIER. "Did it...did it hurt?" He asked, his face very close to Zack's as he inspected those fascinating eyes.

"What? Oh you mean these?" He waved a hand at his own face and smiled. "A bit. Why do you ask?"

Cloud's fingers clenched unconsciously on Zack's uniform and he looked down at his own bare feet. "I want them." He whispered, frowning a little. "I want to get stronger. To become SOLDIER...I..."

"You want to be a hero? Like Sephiroth?"

Cloud looked back up and smiled shyly. "Maybe."

Zack's eyes misted over a bit as if he were immersed in memories, they looked to be a little painful but he didn't let go of Cloud's fingers. "If you want to be a Hero, you've got to have dreams and Honour. My mentor told me that, Angeal was...he was an amazing SOLDIER. Best advice I can offer you, kid."

Cloud wrinkled his nose and stepped back suddenly, the closeness to his friend was making him highly aware that he was virtually naked except for a pair of shorts. "I'm not a kid."

Zack laughed brightly and once again ruffled his hair. "If you say so. Anyway, I got to go. I'll see you around, Cloud."

"Yeah." Cloud watched Zack leave, feeling his face turning pink as he remembered the feel of those hands on his own, despite the leather glove that separated their skin. He sighed heavily and fell back onto his bed. He stared at his own bare hand and then covered his face, what was wrong with him? Why had Zack's smile given him the feeling of being full of flapping, overzealous butterflies? He took a shaky breath and smiled as he buried his face into his pillow, Zack was the first person to ever treat him normally despite his obvious weaknesses. He was a genuinely nice guy and that smile, that happy-go-lucky smile made Cloud want to blush like a girl.

When he finally drifted into a light doze his dreams were strange, he dreamt of half formed images, of green pulsing light, of soft whispers in the darkness, of cool hands pressing into his skin. He fought those dreams. He tried to escape but something kept pulling him back again. Laughter in his head, soft and evil like the whispers of demons. He heard someone calling his name, as if from a great distance and then laughter again. He spiralled through alternating green light and darkness, his head pounded, his body was aflame but he couldn't escape. He felt as if some horrible foreign thing was infesting his veins, burning his blood, forcing his body to change. It hurt. He wanted to wake up but couldn't. He could feel it, like poison gathering in his nerves, his muscles and warping his body, destroying his mind. He shuddered violently and screamed...

 **Cloud...** **Wake up.** **Clou-**

"-d. Cloud! Hey, wake up!" Cloud gasped, his eyes flying open and his arm lifting to push the face leaning over him away, he heard a yelp of pain as he sat bolt upright, panting and feeling terror sweeping through his body and making his heart pound against his ribs. Finally his eyes adjusted to the light and he found himself gazing around his own dorm, on the floor and looking thoroughly disgruntled was Johnny. He sat up, rubbing his head where he had hit it on the nearby chair and glared at Cloud. "What the hell was that for?"

"I-I...I'm sorry." Cloud whispered, putting his hands to his head and staring blankly down at his knees. "I didn't mean..."

"It's fine. You were crying out in your sleep."

"Nightmare." Cloud replied and closed his eyes tightly, trying desperately to recapture the dream.

"Well, commander Lock wants us in the training room in ten minutes."

"I thought I was off duty...?"

"You were but then these bloody Genesis clones got into ShinRa. Come on, let's go." Cloud was out of bed and dressed as quickly as he could, he followed Johnny to the door while he checked his PHS for messages. He saw the order to patrol the outer perimeter of the Headquarters and sighed as he stowed it back into his pocket.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Introducing my all time fave Turk! I love Reno, he's hilarious. I will say that as you read his lines you will notice that he uses 'Yo' a lot, now this is what it says in the Wiki article about his speech:** _Reno possesses a distinct speech pattern in Japanese, speaking in a drawling, slangy manner and, most notoriously, ending most of his sentences with 'zo to', 'yo to', or simply 'to'_ _._ **Which has no translation into English so to give off the 'feeling' of his speech pattern people tend to add 'yo' to the end of his sentences. Anyway, thanks for reading and please, enjoy this next chapter.**

Chapter Four: Obsession

Sephiroth stood behind the huge glass screen separating him from the training room, his arms folded across his pale chest. He watched the small blond boy running around the gym with a frown of concentration on his pretty face. Despite all that was happening around him; Angeal's untimely death, Genesis and Lazard's defection and all those strange clones and mysterious scientific experiments he still was unable to get over his slow creeping obsession with the boy beyond the glass. Cloud was alone, unaware of his secret voyeur and Sephiroth preferred it that way. He watched as the boy slowed and finally came to a halt, bending over and putting both hands on his knees as he caught his breath before moving to where he had stashed his bag and removing a bottle of water from it. Sephiroth watched intently as Cloud drained the bottle and replaced the cap before abruptly he stiffened, his head turned and he gazed with wide eyes at the glass behind which Sephiroth was supposed to be hidden. Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead, he could see it spreading out from the front of his plain, baggy t-shirt as Cloud blinked slowly at what should have been merely a mirror to him. He took two steps forward before the door opened and a loud laugh echoed through the gym. Cloud jumped and turned towards the noise, a smile stretching his lips, Sephiroth shivered a little at the sight.

He was still in the dark as to why the boy intrigued him so much, it was as if they were long lost friends and had forgotten the fact until meeting each other again. It was as if they knew each other, but that was impossible. Sephiroth was six years older than Cloud, who had been a baby when he had last been in Nibelheim. It was ridiculous yet Sephiroth was unable to resist the lure of innocence surrounding the boy. He looked on as Cloud began talking to someone Sephiroth couldn't see until a younger man with dark hair strode into his line of vision; Zack.

"So, you training?" Zack asked, smiling at his friend.

"Yeah, I'm trying to get into the SOLDIER programme next year."

"You'll do great, I'm sure. Hey, do you want to go out tonight? I've got the day off since Lazard went MIA. They've told me to get some _rest_." He said the word with disdain and Cloud giggled.

Cloud was a little taken aback by the offer but agreed after only a moments hesitation, his smile widened as Zack rubbed his hair affectionately. "I'm not a dog, Zack." He said, laughing.

Sephiroth found the intimacy uncomfortable, he could barely fathom how Zack could be so warm and friendly towards everyone. Socialising confused Sephiroth, it always had done. He was awful at making small talk and the only friends he had ever had were either dead or AWOL. He supposed that spending his life surrounded by military scientists would have had a profound effect on his social abilities, but he found he had never really cared until he saw Zack wrestling playfully with Cloud. A strange, slightly possessive anger rose up inside him but he squashed it. He barely knew the infantryman, why would he care who he touched?

 _ **Because he is yours.**_

"No. He belongs to no one." Sephiroth whispered and heard only soft laughter in response. He sighed heavily and finally turned away from the glass, he needed a strong drink.

XXX

The bar was full, Cloud sat at a table and sipped the drink Zack had got him while Zack stood talking animatedly with Kunsel, the odd Second Class SOLDIER who never removed his helmet and seemed to be in the know of everything going on at ShinRa. Finally Zack said good bye and sat back down at Cloud's side, he leaned back and gazed up at the ceiling. "Don't look now but we're being followed." He breathed, suddenly turning to Cloud and looking into his eyes. "Let's get out of here." He said and grabbed Cloud's elbow, dragging him a little roughly to his feet and towards the door, he glanced back behind him a few times and Cloud felt fear begin to creep its way into his chest.

"What's wrong? Who's following us and why?" Cloud asked, pulling free of Zack's grip and putting a hand to the knife he carried on his belt.

"No idea. Just keep walking, there's a park up here." Zack guided him towards the sector seven park and they ducked behind a large slide that had been moulded to look like a cat. Zack peered around the corner, eyes narrowing a little and his hand still clutching Cloud's arm. Cloud drew his knife, his eyes narrowing slightly as he heard footsteps. His body tensed, as did Zack's, preparing for attack when soft laughter cut through the quiet night air.

"Aint no good hidin' there, yo."

"Who-?" Cloud had no time to finish his sentence as Zack swore loudly and rounded the slide, he folded his arms across his chest and faced their stalker. Cloud followed and peered at the man, he wore a scruffy blue suit and his hair was bright red and tied back in a pony tail. On his head were perched a pair of flying goggles and he was smiling in a slightly sadistic manner, he had his right hand stuffed deep in his pocket and in the other was a long metal stick that he was tapping idly against his shoulder. Cloud had no idea how he hadn't noticed a man with such vibrant hair.

"Why are you following us?" Zack demanded, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at the man.

"For my health." The man replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Where's Cissnei? I would have thought she'd be the one to-"

"She's busy, yo. We're all pretty damned busy at the moment." The man sighed heavily. "Look, I aint here to fight you, I'm jus' followin' orders. Got to keep an eye out." He grinned again and winked. "That pretty piece of ass you got on your arm is extremely interestin' to the higher ups."

"What?!" Cloud's eyes widened, his fingers still clutching the knife. "Why on earth am I interesting?! I haven't done anything to warrant attention from the likes of you!"

"Hey, watch it there, kiddo. I don't ask questions, just do what i'm told." He shrugged. "Reno's the name, Reno of the Turks."

"I know what you are." Cloud replied heatedly. "A spy and murderer."

Reno laughed. "Got it in one, yo."

"Why is Cloud being tracked by the Turks?" Zack asked, seemingly speaking to himself as Reno shrugged as he walked towards a nearby swing and sat down on it, putting away his weapon and sticking it back onto a holder on his belt.

"I'd put that tiny little thing away, Kid. It aint enough to take me down." Reno was talking to Cloud, his blue eyes bright and curious. "Wonder what's got them interested in a runt like you? I mean, yeah, you're pretty but I aint seen nothin' that'd suggest why they want your movements tracked."

Cloud frowned and returned his knife to his belt, he folded his arms and leaned against the slide. "Guess that makes two of us who want questions answered." He muttered.

"Problem is, Tseng says jump, I gotta jump." Reno sighed and scuffed his shoes in the dirt. "I don't get told why my target's a target and I don't ask. Askin' gets you killed, yo."

"Yeah, it probably would." Zack replied with a small sigh as he lifted a hand and rubbed the back of his hair.

"We were just having a drink." Cloud said, confused again as to why anyone would bother having him tracked, especially by the Turks.

"I know, it was gettin' _real_ borin'."

"So why don't you go back and make a report to your boss?" Zack replied irritably. "I'm sure Cloud's social life is very fascinating to him."

Reno snorted and held up his PHS. "Already done, yo." It showed a picture of Cloud sitting beside Zack and laughing, Cloud flushed at the picture as Zack and he were looking a little too comfortable. "Tseng told me to stop sendin' him stupid pictures an' report properly." Reno said with a heavy sigh, he finally stood up and grinned, tipping them both a hearty wink and saluting Zack lazily. "Anyways, I gotta go, I got shit to do. Yo, Rude! We're gettin' outta here!" He called to some other guy Cloud had failed to notice hiding in the shadows, the man stepped out of them silently, he looked far better dressed than his partner.

"..." Rude said and adjusted his sunglasses.

"Yeah, I just filled 'em in on the situation. I'll see you two around, 'specially _you_ , Cloud." He laughed again and turned on his heel before walking away, followed by Rude.

"What was that about?" Cloud whispered, blinking after the two Turks.

"No idea but I don't like it." Zack muttered, he looked pained as if he was getting a headache. "Come on, I need another drink."

"Zack, wait!" Cloud grabbed Zack's wrist and looked at him, he allowed a little of the fear he had been feeling enter his gaze. "I...I think there's something wrong with me." He whispered and Zack's mild concern turned into something deeper.

"What is it?"

"I-I...I've been getting nightmares. A lot. I mean, I have them every night and I sometimes lose my memory, I wake up and I-I'm in my bed but there's a huge blank spot in my head and I have no idea how I got there! I-I hear...things...It's like...like I'm going insane." He gave Zack a desperate, pleading look. "I don't know what it means but it can't be good, can it? Voices in my head...laughing at me...I think that maybe...maybe that's why the Turks are having me followed...to ensure I don't hurt anyone."

Zack sighed and turned around to face Cloud, he smiled and pulled him close. "Don't worry about it, I doubt you're going insane...I've seen insane and it looks nothing like you. You're not going to hurt anyone, Cloud, I promise." Cloud looked up at him, confusion and pain warring in his eyes and before he could even think to reply he gasped as lips touched his. Zack pulled away after a brief second and stepped back.

"Z-Zack?" Cloud whispered, feeling his cheeks turn red. "Wh-what..." He swallowed. "What was that?"

"I don't know...man, that was stupid. I'm...i'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." Zack rubbed the back of his head and looked away in embarrassment. "Sorry." He muttered again and Cloud giggled, he couldn't help himself.

They returned to the dingy bar, Cloud listened to Zack talk but missed quite a bit of it as he spent a large portion of his time staring at his lips as they moved. His own burned slightly from the light kiss, he hadn't expected it and he certainly never expected it to feel so pleasant. The only person he had ever envisioned kissing was Tifa, but now he wondered why when Zack moved a little and laughed loudly, Cloud saw the muscles in his arm tense as he gestured and felt a lump rise to his throat. Tifa was pretty, that was certain, she had gorgeous long dark hair and stunning deep brown eyes and a figure, even at fourteen, to kill for but Zack was pure muscle. There were no sensual curves, his body was hard and lean and somehow even more desirable because of it. It was funny how one kiss could throw everything one knew about ones self out of the window. Cloud smiled and hid it behind the rim of his glass as Zack continued his story, something about his dead mentor, Cloud really should be listening but he couldn't keep his mind on the subject.

Just as Zack was reaching the punchline of his story a cold chill ran down Cloud's spine, he straightened, his eyes going wide as he turned his head slowly to look back towards the door. Standing just inside was the tall, imposing figure of Sephiroth. "What the hell?" Zack muttered in astonishment. "What's he doing here?" Cloud's fingers tightened on his glass as his voice left him, he felt as if something was pulling him, as if a strong, guiding hand was trying to drag him out of his seat to move closer to Sephiroth. It was almost irresistible. He wondered, for the first time, what it would be like to touch him. Sephiroth's eyes lifted from the man who was greeting him excitedly at the door, they locked onto Cloud who took a sharp breath. Electricity shot down his spine, the glass in his hand almost shattered with the strength of his grip.

 **Ha ha...**

Cloud flinched as the voice in his head chuckled, the glass shattered and he gasped, gazing at it and blinking as if he were just now realising where he was. Zack gave him an odd look as Sephiroth moved towards them, his boots echoing on the wooden floors like death knells. Cloud lowered his head, desperately trying not to look up, he didn't like to think what would happen if he gazed into those demonic seeming eyes.

"Hey, Sephiroth, what are you doing in a dive like this?" Zack asked, smiling as he leaned back in his chair as a woman came over and began clearing away the mess Cloud had made with angry glares at him.

"Am I not allowed to partake of alcohol?" Sephiroth arched a perfect eyebrow, a small smile gracing his face as Zack laughed.

"Sorry, I just didn't expect you to be here of all places. Would have thought you preferred higher class establishments." Cloud shuddered as Sephiroth took a seat by his side, he lowered his head further, fear and excitement mingling into a confusing torrent inside him.

"I intended to go for a drink, I have heard good things about this place from others." Sephiroth replied smoothly, turning to the suddenly flustered bar girl and ordering a drink, she nodded and scuttled away, Cloud wished he could follow her. Zack spoke easily with the general, Cloud remained sitting in silence and drinking anything that was put in front of him out of nervousness. He had never been so close to Sephiroth before, they were so close he could feel their arms brushing occasionally and it sent odd shock waves through his body that had little to do with the alcohol. Abruptly his vision flashed white, a small gasp escaped his lips and he bent forward, shoving hands into his hair as his eyes slammed shut.

 **Ha-ha...**

"Cloud? Are you all right?"

Cloud looked up, blinking and stood abruptly. "Bathroom." He muttered vaguely and all but ran from the bar, he slammed the door shut when he reached the stall and slumped down onto the toilet seat. He sat there, breathing slowly as he tried to calm his racing heart. As he closed his eyes he heard that laughter again, that strange almost feminine laughter that seemed devoid of real humour.

 **Soon.**

Cloud opened his eyes and stared blankly at the toilet door, he swallowed the sudden urge to vomit before standing on shaking legs. He needed to go back to the infantry barracks, he needed to get away from Sephiroth...

 **Really? Is that what you truly desire, Cloud?**

"Ugh..." Cloud bent double, unable to hold back anymore. He bent over the toilet, shoving the seat upwards and vomited violently into the bowl. He gasped when he was done, pulling away and wiping a shaking hand across his mouth. "Who...who are you?" He whispered softly, but got no reply.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Well, next chapter is finally done, woo! Enjoy my fellow FF7 fans.**

Chapter Five: Anger

Cloud finally stood, swaying a little as he wiped his mouth on a tissue and stared at the door of the toilet cubicle. The voice had fallen silent, for which he was eternally thankful but he still felt sick and weak and tired, he decided it was high time he left and went to bed. He opened the door and stepped out, walking unsteadily over to the taps and washing his hands, he splashed water over his face and gasped at the temperature before moving to the towels. Before he got there though he felt a hand slide around his middle, he was pulled roughly backwards into a warm, sweaty body. "Hey there, honey, how much you chargin'?"

Something inside Cloud cringed, he turned his head and saw the man reflected in the mirror, he was tall and skinny with a shock of bright pink hair. His face was pockmarked and when he grinned it revealed teeth stained yellow. "I'm not a whore!" Cloud muttered vehemently, trying to slip free of the man's grip but he was held fast, he felt dirty fingers dig into his tight abdominal muscles and stinking breathe brushed his ear.

"In that case, you up for makin' a bit of Gil?"

Cloud pushed at the man's arm but he was surprisingly strong for one so thin, Infantry wages were bad but Cloud wasn't that desperate. "Get. Off. Of. Me!" He growled.

Reno peered in through the door to the restroom, a smirk graced his features as he watched Cloud struggle with the man. He chuckled softly to himself and took a picture on his PHS before folding it shut and putting his hands in his pockets, he slid through the bustling crowd of the bar as easily as if he were invisible, he was good at not being noticed. He moved silently up to the table where the two SOLDIER's sat deep in conversation and, before they had even registered his presence, he was already sat in Cloud's vacated seat. Zack blinked several times as he took note of Reno's sudden appearance, the Turk leaned casually back in his seat and smirked broadly, Sephiroth lifted his eyes to Reno before returning to staring around at the patrons with cool disinterest. "I got summit you might wanna know, yo." He said, his eyes glued to Zack who frowned curiously.

"What's that?"

Reno leaned forward and flipped open his PHS, he showed Zack the picture of Cloud in the unwanted embrace of the stranger. He watched in sick fascination as Zack's face twisted as several emotions flickered in those eerie blue eyes. "Bastard." He hissed and stood up, tipping his chair over backwards and moving for the toilet doors, Reno bounded to his feet and followed eagerly, he enjoyed trouble wherever it was to be found and this was a far more interesting diversion than his original mission. He missed Sephiroth stand and it wasn't until the imposing figure had passed him that he realised he had even moved, Reno's steps faltered, did he really want to involve himself in trouble if the general was involved? He paused before shrugging, no one had to know. He slid after the SOLDIER's as they went to rescue their pretty friend.

Cloud tensed as the fingers of the man slid beneath the hem of his t-shirt and began gliding over his muscles. He gritted his teeth at the feelings of rage and disgust that filled him, finally he broke one arm free of the man's embrace and abruptly sent his elbow straight into the man's gut. He gained a satisfying grunt in response as the man released him and doubled over in agony, Cloud turned on the spot and brought his knee up, smashing the man's face into a bloody mess and he keeled over backwards. "You liddle shit!" The man screamed, clutching at his broken nose as blood poured from between his fingers. He glared up at Cloud furiously, Cloud glared back. "You broke by dose!"

"You deserve it!" Cloud spat, turning his back on the man and moving to the basin to once more wash his hands, he would need a shower when he got back to ShinRa just to remove the vile scent of the man off of his skin.

"Don' you dare dalk back do me!" The man's voice was uncomfortably close and before Cloud could react he was pulled into a strangle hold, Cloud grabbed the man's arm and flung his full weight forward, the man behind him lost his balance and went tumbling over Cloud's back as if he were playing a dangerous form of leapfrog. He smashed into the mirrors, sending shards of sparkling silver flying everywhere, Cloud vaguely felt one of the shards hit his cheek but the pain barely even registered. The man lay beneath the row of sinks, moaning and clutching at his face. Cloud stared down at him coldly, his eyes glowing fiercely as if lit by a fire from within. Slowly his fingers found the knife he carried whilst out in the slums, he brought it out and stood above the man running his thumb over the blade, as if debating what to do.

Zack opened the door after hearing the loud crashing noise, he ran into the room and opened his mouth to speak but before he could he took in the scene before him. Cloud had the man pinned against the wall, a knife at his throat and his eyes...his eyes were glowing as if he had already entered SOLDIER. Zack's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water as Cloud pressed the blade against the man's jugular, he felt Sephiroth stand by his side and watch the scene quietly. "Don't lay your filthy hands on me again!" Cloud hissed and slammed the knife into the wall by the side of the man's head, he flinched and whimpered pathetically before Cloud allowed him to crumple to the floor. He stood over him for a moment, breathing heavily before turning around to find both Zack and Sephiroth gazing at him. Zack's eyes drifted down to the prone man who was apparently crying before returning to Cloud's face, Sephiroth appraised Cloud silently, head cocked to one side and beyond them Cloud spotted a flash of bright red hair. Cloud blinked at them both. "What?" He asked in surprise at seeing them there.

"It appears he is not as helpless as he first looks." Sephiroth mused softly and Cloud noticed for the first time that his arm was wreathed in green flame, it faded away and Sephiroth smiled. "You are an interesting boy, Cloud Strife."

"I...I thought you were in trouble?" Zack asked, gazing down in mild surprise at the bleeding man.

"What, because of _this_?" Cloud nudged the man with his boot, causing him to whimper again. A small smile touched his lips as he pulled his knife from the wall. "He's nothing but a pervert, I can handle a guy like that." It was the second time Zack had attempted to rush to Cloud's aid only to find that he had never needed it. It was strange, he had seen Cloud fail to restrain a fat, bloated old scientist and yet here he was having just beat a man to bloody pulp. He seemed to ooze vulnerability but now Zack was seeing, for the first time, a rather violent streak in him that he had never even considered being there, Cloud ran a hand through his spiky hair and looked down at the blood stained tiles. "I...I'm sorry...I just don't like people touching me without my permission."

"No! No it's cool, I'm just surprised." Zack replied, smiling as he looked back up at Cloud, he realised that his eyes were their usual icy blue and mentally shook himself. He must be imagining things.

"It appears that all is in hand, I shall return to ShinRa now, as should you two." Sephiroth said slowly, his eyes burning holes into Cloud. Reno leaned against the wall, his fingers dancing over the buttons of his PHS as he relayed everything to Tseng. He chewed some gum as Sephiroth glided past him, turning those odd green eyes onto him only briefly before seeming to dismiss him, but he paused before he drew too far away. "What do you know about the boy?" He asked in a soft whisper.

"Nothin', yo." Reno replied, chewing and still texting. "Ain't my place."

"No...I suppose not." Sephiroth moved away, Reno glanced up to watch him before returning to his text. Tseng seemed interested in what he had to say about the incident.

XXX

Cloud was surprised when he stepped out into the cool night time air, he felt the alcohol he had drunk hit him like a truck and he stumbled. He hadn't realised just how drunk he really was, he felt a strong arm slide around his waist and leaned into the warm body at his side, he giggled a little as Zack guided him out of Wall Market and towards the train station. Cloud stumbled as the world tilted dangerously, he felt Zack's grip on him tighten and he was held firmly, he looked up and came to halt, forcing Zack to do the same. "Why're you doin' this?" He muttered, blinking up at his friend curiously, a slight frown marring his forehead.

"Doing what?"

"Helpin' me, bein'...nice." Cloud responded, hiccoughing a little.

Zack shook his head, "Because that's what friends do, right?"

"Issit? Never had none." Cloud smirked and laughed softly as if this was hilarious. "Back home, i'm a bi' of a-a...weirdo."

"Oh? How come?"

Cloud's smile grew. "I got into loads of fights...I remember once...Tifa's Martial Arts Master had to stop me from killin' some kid...dunno why I hurt him so badly." Cloud blinked again, staring up at the plate before returning his eyes to Zack, they seemed to sparkle beneath the garish florescent lights around them. "Mother cried. Always cryin', she was...as if...as if she was worried. Why? I'm not that important...I'm...no one."

"She's your mother, she's going to get upset when you get hurt." Zack replied, shifting as Cloud leaned more weight on him, he wasn't sure he understood where this seemingly idle conversation was going and he didn't like the dark look in Cloud's normally bright eyes.

"Huh...yeah, Mother was always worryin'...hey, Zack?" Cloud gripped Zack's top tightly, standing on tip toe to bring their faces closer, his eyelids dropped and his smile changed. "Kiss me again." He whispered hoarsely, Zack stared mutely into those eyes and opened his mouth but his voice seemed to have deserted him. Cloud had never given him any indication that he was anything but straight.

"I...I think you need to go home and sleep off this alcohol." Cloud shook his head emphatically, they were stood in the middle of Wall Market, people were giving them a wide berth but no one seemed too bothered by their closeness.

"Nope. Don't need sleep... _she'll_ come back if I sleep. Zack," He reached up, pushing fingers into Zack's spiky hair and slowly pulled himself closer, tipping his head to the side as a pleading, slightly desperate look entered his eyes. "I want...I want..." Cloud paused, biting his bottom lip before taking a deep breath and finally closing the distance between them. Zack felt his breath stop momentarily as Cloud's lips met his own, he felt them part and a hot, wet tongue slipped out to glide along his own bottom lip as if begging for entrance. He couldn't help himself, Cloud was literally throwing himself at him and Zack was fully aware that he wasn't a very strong man when it involved pretty people. He sighed and opened his mouth, his own hands rising to grip Cloud's hair as he did his, he turned Cloud around and shoved him roughly into the wall, earning a soft gasp in response. He easily dominated the kiss, enjoying the heat rushing through his body as Cloud pressed himself as close as it was possible to get and tugged on his hair in a way that sent chills down his spine. Zack mumbled something against Cloud's mouth and got a hum in response as he released those soft blond locks and slid his hands down to his hips, pushing his thumbs into the waist band of Cloud's casual trousers. "Ugh..." Cloud opened his eyes, they were clouded with lust and a pink flush resided on his cheeks. "Z-Zack I-" He began but his eyes widened as he gazed over Zack's shoulder.

"Woah, what we got here then, Rude? Looks like SOLDIER-boy has forgotten himself, yo." Reno's laugh was grating and Zack turned flashing eyes to him but the Turk stood there, utterly unafraid. "You're his superior, Zack-y, I wouldn't let Sephiroth or the Bosses catch you." He sniggered and began to walk away.

"It's none of your business, Turk!" Zack shouted after him angrily.

Reno looked back at him over his shoulder, his expression suddenly dangerous. "Everythin's my business, SOLDIER." He said darkly and moved on, his partner adjusted his glasses and gave Zack a prolonged look before following after him.

"Shit." Zack cursed and turned back to Cloud who was breathing heavily and blinking after the two Turks, he could see that his eyes were glazed from the amount of booze he'd drunk and he looked a little pale. He sighed, Reno was right, he shouldn't have taken advantage of Cloud's inebriated state but for some reason he couldn't help himself. "C'mon, let's get you back to the barracks."

"Huh?" Cloud turned to him and blinked again, he swayed drunkenly and leaned heavily against Zack, slowly his eyes began to fall closed and his head drooped. "Mmm...sleepy..." He whispered as his legs finally gave way and Zack was forced to catch him before he fell in the dirt.

XXX

It was a long time before Sephiroth finally fell asleep, he lay awake long into the early morning listening to that voice that had been with him all his life. It spoke of things, things which, as a child, he had barely comprehended, only now it was stronger. He heard it's soft laughter, it spoke to him with an almost loving caress in its tone, as if it knew him intimately and he did feel as if he were connected to it. He had always just assumed that it was the voice of his subconscious but when he had made the mistake of telling Hojo about it the man had forced him to stay in the labs for a month, only the war in Wutai prevented him from subjecting Sephiroth to more than a month. He had never spoken of it again, not even to Genesis or Angeal, despite the fact that out of everyone they would likely understand. He closed his eyes and sighed heavily as the darkness around him slowly began to turn lighter, the voice in his head spoke of great deeds, of murder and sacrifice and the end of days. He tuned it out, unable to listen to it any longer, that is until it spoke a name. His eyes snapped open and he gazed up at the dim ceiling of his one bedroomed apartment.

 **Cloud.**

 _What about him?_

 **Ha-ha...so now you listen? He is a special creature, isn't he? You know, you could have him.**

 _'Have him'? Is an object to which I can bend to my every desire? No. I will not become like Hojo._

 **Ah yes, Hojo has been such a big help in our plans, little one. I think we should allow him to live just a little longer, he deserves to at least have a small chance of pursuing his ideas to the very end, don't you?**

 _No one is going to die. What do you know about Cloud Strife?_

 **Hee hee. Impatient to know more about him I see. Well, my sweet, he is a Puppet. He is your toy, moulded for you by others. If you say the words he is yours to do what you will, he has no will of his own, he has no existence outside of you.**

Sephiroth fell silent, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. The voice was strange tonight, speaking in riddles as if it were Genesis. What did that even mean? Cloud had no existence outside of him? It made no sense and Sephiroth wished he could shut down the voice entirely, maybe then he would finally be able to get some sleep. His last thoughts, as he slowly drifted into unconsciousness, was of Cloud covered in blood, lifting a broken piece of metal in one hand and turning to look at him. He saw those eyes, a perfect replica of his own.

XXX

Another mission. Cloud trudged at the back of a line of his fellow infantry soldiers, he gazed around himself in awe. The cave glowed, it was an eerie green and made all the hairs on the back of his neck prickle. He walked and stared, just like the others. Orders were to retrieve some natural materia from the caves, Heidegger wanted it for some reason that was never disclosed. "Cool, isn't it?" The soft voice made Cloud look up to find Zack smiling at him, his eyes seeming to glow brighter in the green mako glow. He smiled and nodded.

"Yeah."

"I've only been here once but there's rumours that you can only cross that swamp outside on a Chocobo..."

"Glad we got a chopper in." Cloud replied, still entranced by the glowing walls. "Where is this Materia supposed to be?"

"Further in, Sephiroth's got the directions." Zack said, waving his arm towards the generals back. They moved forward in silence, Cloud's hands idly caressing his rifle as he stayed alert for monsters. It seemed that there were none around, likely they had sensed the large number of their party and so decided to stay away but you could never be too careful. He remembered the wolves back at his home town, how they would come slinking into the town during bitter winters in search of food, Cloud had watched from his bedroom window as people scattered in terror. Finally the company came to halt, Cloud looked ahead and saw Sephiroth standing before a deep pool of pure mako, it was the most beautiful thing Cloud had ever seen and he crept slowly forward for a better look. He found himself stood just a little behind the general who paid him no mind as he gazed across the lake to the island in the very centre. Cloud saw the shining ball of energy, such a powerful object encased in a tiny hard shell, small enough to clutch in ones hand.

Cloud moved closer curiously, gazing down at the still glowing pool of pure light, his feet touched the edge and he felt a hand grip his elbow, he looked up into Sephiroth's inscrutable face. "I would not advise falling in, cadet. Mako poisoning is not pleasant." Cloud thought he sounded as if he were speaking from experience but held his tongue and simply nodded.

"Sephiroth, how are we going to get that?" Zack asked, pointing a gloved hand at the island. Sephiroth said nothing as he stabbed his sword into the damp earth and stepped forward, his feet slid into the mako and Cloud gasped, along with several others. Before they knew it Sephiroth was stood in it up to his waist, he made no sound as he walked steadily towards the centre of the pool and climbed up onto its shore, Cloud heard a soft sigh escape the generals lips but wasn't certain if he had imagined it. Zack knelt by the pool and dipped his fingers into it, wincing only a little as he did so, his eyes seemed to glow suddenly brighter as he withdrew his hand and watched the odd, water-like substance drip back into the main body. "Hurts even through the gloves." He muttered, seemingly to himself. "Sephiroth, are you all right?" He called and Sephiroth turned, a smile gracing his face as he took hold of the materia.

"Of course, why would I not be?" Zack snorted and folded his arms across his chest but didn't rise to the bait.

"You gunna be able to get back?"

"I can jump." Sephiroth replied, his eyes moving to the pool, he seemed slightly reluctant to go back into it.

"Why doesn't it affect him?" Cloud asked no one in particular.

Zack shrugged. "SOLDIER are infused with Mako energy, you know that but it...it needs topping up frequently, we're basically submerged in it on a regular basis. We're used to it."

"Doesn't it hurt though?"

"Like a bitch." Zack grinned. Cloud returned his gaze to the general as he prepared to leap, everyone stepped back just as Sephiroth jumped but Cloud didn't move in time. The general's eyes widened as he realised what was about to happen and Cloud tried to get out of the way but his foot, precariously on the edge as it was, slipped from beneath him and he gasped as he lost his balance. "Oh fu-" He slid and fell with a splash into the pool. Zack tried to grab him before he fell, his fingers scraped the back of his uniform but he didn't make it in time.

"CLOUD!" He cried as he watched his friend go under. The men around him backed away as Sephiroth landed with perfect grace, he turned immediately and, with Zack at his side, plunged his hand into the mako. They fished around for a moment, sweat springing out on Zack's face until finally his burning fingers found something. Sephiroth uttered a soft curse, his eyes narrowed and glowing so fiercely it was hard to look into them. They were the exact same colour as the pool and walls. Finally Sephiroth too found something and together they pulled, Cloud came slithering out, a loud agonised cry escaping his lips as he was hauled roughly onto the cold stone. He curled into a fetal position and covered his head with his arms as he trembled violently. "Cloud?!" Zack fell to his side, brushing hair from his face and making sure he wasn't wounded. "Cloud, can you hear me? Hey, come on, it'll be all right." Slowly Cloud's dazed eyes opened, his breathing was laboured and Zack noticed the faint glow in his eyes.

"'m...f-fine..." He said softly, blinking a little as if trying to clear his head. Slowly he uncurled himself and tried to stand, Zack held him as his knees trembled and he fell back to the floor. "I...I..." he groaned and clutched at his stomach, eyes clamped tightly shut. "Oh...feel...sick..."

"Yeah, that'll happen." Zack said with a sigh as he turned and looked up at Sephiroth, he kept a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "What do we do?"

"We contact ShinRa, they can send the pick-up. When he's well enough we have to get him out of here and get him straight to the Medical facility." Sephiroth said, watching Cloud intently. "He should be dead." He muttered and turned away to issue orders. By the time the helicopter arrived Cloud was slipping in and out of conciousness, he had already vomited twice on the way out of the caves and he was struggling to hold himself up. His head hung low, his whole body giving off a faint glow as he stumbled by Zack's side. "Come on, not far now. You can do it Cloud. Just keep going, one foot in front of the other...that's it."

"Nng..." It was all Cloud could force past his numb lips, his head spun as if he were drunk and colours swirled past his vision. He heard snatches of conversation from his fellow infantrymen and Zack's careful encouragement. He slipped a little but Zack held him tightly, Cloud was forced to remember the last time he had been this close to his friend. The time neither of them acknowledged. He remembered Reno's reprimand and had decided not to drink, ever again. The alcohol had made him act like an idiot, he had lost all sense of propriety and could have lost Zack his job and potentially his life. It would not happen again. Ever. He stumbled again and when he looked up he almost screamed. Standing before him and wearing a stern, hurt expression was his mother. She looked as she had the day he had left home, her arms folded over her chest and wearing the same dress she had worn that day. Cloud halted, gazing with wide eyes at the figure of his mother, he watched as she moved her lips, she was saying something he couldn't quite hear. "Cloud? Cloud, come on man, we've got to get you to the chopper."

"He is hallucinating." Sephiroth said calmly as he walked at their side. "He needs medical attention." Zack and Sephiroth shared a knowing look, they both knew about those terrible hallucinations. They looked so real that one could barely distinguish it from reality. They were terrifying and played on your deepest insecurities, it was one of the worst side effects of the Mako enhancements.

"M—mother..." Cloud mumbled drunkenly, his hand rising as he reached out to touch the woman.

" _Mother?! You are no son of mine! You are a complete failure, you never brought anything to this family but shame. I'm glad you never write, I never want to see your face again!"_

"Ugh..." Cloud slipped out of Zack's grasp and fell to his knees, he blinked up at his mother as she glared at him with such hatred he felt his heart break. "'m...sorry..." He muttered sluggishly and lowered his head, covering his face in his hands. "Sorry..."

" _She's right, Cloud. How could someone like me ever be interested in a pathetic, weak boy like you?"_

"Tifa?" Cloud blinked as Tifa materialised from no where, somehow this bothered him far less than the disgust in her eyes.

"Cloud, stay with me! The other's have gone to meet the chopper and get a stretcher! Just...hold on! It's not real, any of it. You can make it through this." Cloud felt hands on his face and he was forced to look up into beautifully glowing blue eyes.

"Z-Zack...?" He managed to force words out of his numb mouth and blink very slowly.

"Yeah, it's me. Come on, they're nearly here."

"Nearly...here...?" Cloud frowned as he looked back at the two women. "...who...?"

"Cloud?"

"Huh?"

"Are you all right?"

"...Tifa..." Cloud hung his head as agony tore through him, a scream was wrenched helplessly from his lips as he fell forward. Zack caught him and held him as he felt burning waves wash through every nerve ending, his body flushed hot and cold and yet, through it all, it felt as if he knew this pain. It felt oddly familiar.

 **Ha-ha...**

"M-Mother?" Cloud opened his eyes and stared blindly up at the cave roof, he could vaguely hear a familiar voice speaking to him but he could no longer make out words.

"Is he...asking for his mother?" Sephiroth asked, gazing down at Cloud's body as Zack supported it.

"Dunno, he's been saying that a lot...along with another name...Tifa?" Zack shrugged. "Must be people from his past...they got me too."

"Get him up, they're here." Zack nodded, his face full of concern as he gently hefted Cloud in his arms, he was a lot lighter than he looked. He followed Sephiroth towards the cave entrance and out onto the small patch of grass that surrounded it, there he saw the helicopter flown by Reno who was leaning against its side and watching them draw near.

"He fell into a Mako pool." Sephiroth said in answer to his raised eyebrow.

"Ouch, yo. How'd that happen?"

"Accident." Zack grunted as he climbed on board with the barely-concious Cloud. Reno snorted.

"Dumb blond." He climbed the helicopter with the ease of a cat and settled himself into the pilots seat. "Get comfy, we're takin' off in three, yo."


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: So, chapter six and it all begins to start going a bit wrong. I have taken liberties with how Sephiroth slowly loses his mind because it's really not clear as to when he starts going a bit crazy, was he on his way before talking to Genesis at Nibelheim or was he fine up until that moment (I doubt it but it's possible)? Also, I am never sure whether Sephiroth is aware that Hojo is his daddy, I assume he was only a 'guardian' to Sephiroth and he never knew his parents until later because it seems totally out of character for Hojo to admit that he sired Sephiroth. He doesn't care, he only wants him for his own purposes so why would he admit that? Anyway, enjoy the latest instalment and thank you to my single reviewer! I hope I get more soon.**

Chapter Six: Training

Cloud's eyes slowly opened, everything seemed to be made from bright white light, he sighed heavily and turned his head from left to right, his vision was clearing but far too slowly. His body felt heavy, his mind sluggish and words were virtually impossible. All he could make were the odd incoherent sounds, he attempted to move a limb but his arms refused to do his bidding...no, that wasn't quite right, there was leather surrounding his wrists. The thought lit the embers of slow burning panic in his mind, his hands clenched into fists and he lifted his head as best he could, staring down the length of his body. He was hooked up to machines, he could see a bag of strange liquid attached to a pole at the bedside as well as a table with wheels containing a large array of pointy needles and scalpels. The panic turned into terror. Cloud tugged at the restraints, his head falling back onto the table with a thud, he fought as hard as he could but then he heard voices drawing closer. His eyes darted around the room and he continued to fight, he licked his lips and saw the door handle rattle as it was opened and two people in white coats walked in. They looked at him and their eyes widened but before they could so much as move Cloud snapped the bonds holding him prisoner, he leapt up and tore the IV line from his hand, not even wincing despite the agony. He stumbled towards the two white coated men who backed away, moving out of the door and trying to close it again. "NO!" Cloud screamed, trying to stop them from shutting him in again.

"H-he's awake...Call Hojo!" The other fled as the one who stayed behind tried to close the door and lock it.

"No...please, let me go!" Cloud whispered in a hoarse voice, his vision turned grey and he had to hold onto the door frame to hold himself steady. He felt sicker than he had ever done in his life and everything he looked at had a weird greenish tint to it, as if he were gazing through a filter. The terrified scientist tugged at the door until it was almost closed but before he had time Cloud stuck his foot in the door and forced it open, he was briefly surprised at how easy that was before he stumbled into the hall. He blinked around and realised there were now a large group of people standing around, along with three of his own fellow infantrymen. Cloud shook his head and put his hands to his hair. "Please, let me go!" He moaned but a loud, bone chilling cackle made him freeze.

"Take him back to his room, he has not recovered yet." Hojo ordered the men in blue, Cloud watched as they drew closer warily, he turned around with wide eyes like a hunted animal.

"No. No please! I don't...I don't want to go back there! Please!"

"Take him." Hojo ordered, more firmly this time.

Cloud was grabbed by the three soldiers and pulled backwards, he fought. He struggled and kicked and screamed as if he were losing his mind, and, he wondered if he really was. He heard a soft whisper, the voice oddly familiar yet he couldn't place it. "Cloud, come on, you're recovering still...just go back in and you'll get better." Cloud kicked the man in the shin, hearing his grunt and sliding from his slackened grip, he tried to run down the hall but heard the familiar sound of gun fire, agony ripped through his arm and he felt his vision darken. Slowly he fell forwards and hit the ground, conciousness slowly fled but not before he saw a pair of heavy black boots and the hem of a familiar leather coat.

Sephiroth stared down at Cloud, he saw the end of a dart sticking out of his arm, they had obviously had to tranquillise him. He lifted his eyes and met Hojo's who was smirking and watching to see what he would do, slowly Sephiroth bent and lifted Cloud's limp body into the air. "He needs rest." He said softly, gazing around at the gathered scientists and infantrymen, daring them silently to disagree. "I will take him to the Medical ward." He turned but stopped when Hojo spoke.

"You will do no such thing, Sephiroth." Sephiroth looked back over his shoulder, he shifted Cloud's weight so that he was holding him with only one arm and with his free one he lifted it and his sword materialised from black smoke, causing mutters and gasps. He turned and lifted his sword so that the point touched Hojo just under the chin, Hojo stared back at him impassively.

"And who is going to stop me?" Sephiroth hissed, he had always hated the man, despite the fact that he had raised him. Hojo had controlled his life, right down to who he socialised with and Sephiroth had had enough. The infantrymen stood around, unsure what to do until one of them moved subtly to Sephiroth's side of the hall, the others followed with only a little hesitation. "I am the General, I control this army. If I order it they will kill you."

Hojo stared Sephiroth in the eye for a long time, anger etched into every line of his face. "Sephiroth, put the boy back in his room." He said quietly, he ignored his fellow scientists backing away from the scene and concentrated his full attention on Sephiroth.

"No." Sephiroth said and felt a small thrill at the firmness of his voice. "Too long have I blindly followed your orders, I will do it no longer! I should have stopped Angeal from going to your aid when Genesis wanted to kill you!"

Hojo smirked. "You could no more kill me than you could kill a member of your family."

"I have no family!" Sephiroth hissed but at the look on Hojo's face his voice faltered.

"Oh? I do not think that is true, do you?"

"What...what do you mean?" Sephiroth breathed, eyes wide as fear and hope warred within him.

"Your mother is Jenova."

"My...mother...?"

"Your father is..." Hojo laughed, that horrible chilling sound that sent ice into Sephiroth's gut. "I could tell you if you put the boy back in his room and come with me." He saw Sephiroth's uncertainty, even if no one else did, he had raised the boy and knew his every expression and every mood. "Come, Sephiroth, stop this juvenile rebellion and come with me."

Sephiroth moved Cloud into a more comfortable position and lifted his sword again, his eyes seemed to glow in fury. "Tell me who my father is!" He demanded in a hissing whisper that made everyone in the vicinity back away, one person ran off to get help in case Sephiroth lost it.

"Ah-ah-ah." Hojo smirked, laughing once again. "Your fury is impotent, boy. I do not cave to base demands."

"Fine. Then I shall find out myself!" Sephiroth turned on his heel, his sword fading away as he carried Cloud down the hall, away from the hell hole of the Science department. Still, his mind was awash with this new information about his past, he wondered who Jenova was, what she looked like and if she had ever loved him once upon a time. Despite his persistent efforts to push all these thoughts from his mind they refused to leave him. It had been so much easier when he had thought his real family had abandoned him utterly, this new information scared him.

XXX

Cloud awoke slowly, his memories blurry and indecipherable. He sat up and rubbed his head which was pounding, his mouth was dry and his tongue thick and heavy. He looked around and saw that he was in a soft bed with plain white sheets, beside him was a side table with a jug full of fresh water and a nearby glass. He reached out and poured himself some water with shaking hands, slowly he brought it to his lips. That was when he noticed Sephiroth watching him, his silver hair pushed over one shoulder and his glowing green eyes intent. "How are you feeling?" He asked quietly.

"A bit sick...sir." Cloud replied, looking away.

"That is to be expected." Sephiroth paused, his gaze unwavering and Cloud felt it like a cold blade at his throat. "What do you remember?"

"I...I fell into a Mako pool."

"Is that all?" When Cloud nodded Sephiroth cocked his head to one side. "Then I will tell you you have been out for a week."

"What?!"

"You got a full dose of Mako and were suffering Mako addiction, the doctors managed to stop any of the more terrible side effects." Sephiroth lied smoothly, he wasn't exactly sure why he was keeping the truth from Cloud but something held his tongue.

"I...I see." Cloud sighed and took another long drink of the water, it felt good on his sore throat. Sephiroth's eyes were on his throat as he swallowed, he seemed fascinated. "Um...sir?"

"Yes?" Sephiroth blinked and moved his eyes to Cloud's face. "Have you seen Zack?"

Sephiroth's fingers curled on the arms of the chair he was sat in and a dark look crossed his face, Cloud felt a bubble of fear rise into his chest. "He is busy."

"Oh."

"I can retrieve him if you wish?" Sephiroth asked somewhat reluctantly.

"No, no it's fine. So long as he's ok." Abruptly Sephiroth stood, he loomed over Cloud who had to tip his head back to look up at him. A long fingered hand reached out and tipped his chin, Sephiroth leaned closer so that Cloud felt his breath on his face. The scent of vanilla filled the air, it was oddly intoxicating.

"Who are you?" Sephiroth breathed.

"Me, sir? I-I'm...I'm just a country boy...I'm no one." Cloud answered in confusion. Silver hair slid over Sephiroth's shoulder and fell to obscure their faces, Cloud felt it brush his cheek and shuddered. Excitement and fear trickled down his spine as Sephiroth's eyes captured him and held him still, he felt as if he had been bound in chains of steel as Sephiroth's lips drew closer to his own. "You are not 'no one'...there is something about you...you are not all you appear to be." Slowly, as if the movement was costing him, Sephiroth drew away and released Cloud who took a breath as a wave of dizziness washed over him. "Meet me in the Holo-training rooms when you recover." He straightened and turned away, leaving in a creak of leather.

XXX

When Cloud had been given the all clear he spent a day back at his barracks to read and relax while he debated about going to meet Sephiroth. His dorm mate, Johnny, was oddly quiet around him, continuously giving him odd looks. Finally Cloud snapped his book shut and turned to his friend. "What's wrong?" He asked firmly and saw Johnny avert his eyes.

"I just...well, you look better."

"Of course I do, I just got out of the Medical wing after a week." Johnny gave him another funny look, opened his mouth as if to speak and then changed his mind.

"Yeah, that's true. Hey, um...are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine." Cloud insisted and returned to his book, ignoring Johnny's constant glances. After another minute or so of this Cloud lowered his book and raised an eyebrow, finally Johnny sighed heavily and dug around in his pocket. He held out a key card for Cloud with an odd look on his face, Cloud took it and looked at it. "What's this?"

"It's the Key Card for the SOLDIER Holo-rooms." Johnny said, his face falling into a look of concern. "Sephiroth gave it to me to give to you."

Cloud didn't look up, he stared at the card in fascination, he could have sworn that he could smell the lingering scent of vanilla on it too. "Why?"

"I thought you'd answer that question." Johnny replied. "Look, the guys are talking...I overheard them in the showers the other day. They're suspicious about how you're getting so much attention from the SOLDIER's...I mean...no one else in our Unit has been. They're speculating that you're using your looks to get promoted."

Cloud did look up then and snorted. "My looks? What looks?"

"You really have no idea do you? Half the men in the barracks have wanted to fuck you since you first arrived here! They're jealous because you're pretty and you're getting so much attention from the top levels. Seriously, Cloud, i'd watch your back."

"What? Don't be ridiculous. They hate me."

Johnny shook his head. "A bunch of men all shut up in one place together with restricted access to female companionship leaves them feeling pretty frustrated and then there's you with your blond hair and big blue eyes, they're jealous and angry that you're ignoring all their advances." Cloud had little to say to that, it was new information to him, if his Unit mates thought that their brand of bullying was flirting they were highly mistaken and there was no one he worked with who held any interest for him anyway. Only Zack and Sephiroth had ever given him those shock-wave feelings that stirred up hitherto undiscovered desires inside of him. "That's stupid."

Johnny shrugged. "I never said that the feelings of a bunch of muscle heads were exactly logical." Cloud snorted and put the card into his pocket, Johnny watched him warily. "You're not...are you?"

"Not what?"

"Fucking the general?"

"No! Who the hell do you take me for?" Cloud exclaimed angrily. Johnny said nothing, he turned away and went to the desk to write a letter back to his parents, Cloud stared angrily at his back for a moment before returning to his book, but suddenly it no longer held his attention.

XXX

He stood outside the door to the Holo-room, the key card felt unusually heavy in his hand and he swallowed the tight lump in his throat before lifting it and running it down the slot. There was a beep and a swish as the door opened, Cloud stepped inside and gazed around himself in awe. He was standing upon the Junon Canon, the view across the sea was mesmerising, he was astounded by how real it all looked. Then he spotted Sephiroth, he was stood at the end of the canon, his sword dangling loosely in one hand as he gazed out to sea, his back to Cloud. "Come in, Cloud." Sephiroth said softly, still not turning around. Cloud did as he was told and the door shut behind him, he glanced back, feeling suddenly nervous at being trapped in a room with the most powerful man in ShinRa.

"Sir, why did you ask to meet me here?" Cloud asked, trying to be polite but failing to hide the curiosity in his voice. Sephiroth turned his head and smiled, the look chilled Cloud's heart and he froze on the spot.

"Pick up that sword Cadet." He ordered and pointed with the tip of his sword at the weapon leaning against the wall. Cloud reached out and wrapped his fingers around it, it was a standard issue second class sword, most first classes usually got to design their own weapons. The balance was perfect, the edge a little blunt but it was usable, Cloud looked back to Sephiroth in confusion. "Sir? What's this about?"

"You have been training with Zack Fair, am I correct?"

"Y-yes sir...a-a little..."

Sephiroth finally turned to face him, smiling a little as he raised Masamune. "Then show me what you know." He said and Cloud's eyes widened.

"Wha-!" Sephiroth's attack was so fast Cloud could only lift his weapon in defence, he was blasted straight into a wall of solid metal, pain erupted in his back and he fell to the floor with a gasp. Sephiroth gazed down upon him with a small frown. "Stand, Cadet." Cloud looked up, breathing heavily after only one attack, he looked into Sephiroth's face before his fingers curled around the sword and he struggled to his feet. "Excellent." Sephiroth's smirk returned and he moved so fast Cloud could barely even see him, he only just managed to dodge, rolling away as the point of the blade sliced straight through the metal by his head. He struggled valiantly to his feet again and held the sword in a ready stance, watching Sephiroth through narrowed eyes. "Your files said that you wished to enter SOLDIER and this is all you are capable of?" He snorted derisively. "Pathetic."

Cloud's eyes widened in horror as Sephiroth once again went to attack him, he brought the sword up just in time to parry a blow so heavy it drove his feet deep into the metal beneath them. He struggled to push the heavy blade away but somehow managed it and stepped back, Sephiroth gazed at him, eyes glowing in the dying holographic sunlight. "You are weak." He whispered, aiming his sword and gripping it with two hands. Cloud swallowed hard and he had time to widen his eyes as once again he was thrown brutally into the floor, he gasped as a heavy boot kicked him in the chest as he rose to his knees, he rolled over and climbed unsteadily to his feet.

XXX

"Zack! Zack!"

Zack turned and lifted an eyebrow as Kunsel ran up to him puffing and panting, "What is it?"

"You're friends with a cadet, yeah?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Come with me." Kunsel grabbed hold of Zack's wrist and dragged him to the elevator, he was dragged inside and he punched the button to get to the SOLDIER floor. "Kunsel, what the hell's going on?" Zack asked, surprised by his friends obvious distress.

"That kid is currently in the middle of a battle with Sephiroth!" Kunself gasped.

Zack froze, eyes wide. "What?!"

"It's being broadcast on the ShinRa Network, everyone's watching. The kid's losing...badly."

"Shit!" Zack swore and stared at the numbers on the elevator as they slowly moved upwards, he felt panic restrict his chest at the thought of Sephiroth murdering Cloud. "But...why? Why is he doing it? He's never shown an interest in Cloud before now!"

"No one knows." Kunsel said. Zack thought about Sephiroth's mental state, he had been on the edge since Genesis went MIA and, although he had appeared normal on the outside Zack had noticed that he was spending more and more time alone shut away in his office. It spelled bad news, he knew something was going on and that the general was suffering badly with the demise of one of his best friends and the rejection of the other. But that did not explain why he was currently fighting a Cadet who he could easily kill. The lift doors opened and Zack ran into the SOLDIER lounge where several people were gathered around the TV. It depicted Junon canon and two people fighting, Zack moved forward and pushed his way to the front as his eyes landed on the screen. "No...Cloud..." Zack turned and made his way towards the Holo rooms, Kunsel followed him.

"They're locked from outside intrusion, Sephiroth's used his master code to prevent any one from interfering."

"Then i'll kick the damned door down!" Zack growled, breaking into a run.

XXX

Cloud's muscles protested angrily as he once again lifted the sword, he could feel sweat break out across his skin as he panted and tried to guess Sephiroth's next move. The General was smiling, but it was utterly humourless. Cloud shook sweaty hair from his eyes as Sephiroth moved again, this time he grabbed Cloud by the front of his uniform and lifted him into the air, the sword dropped from his numb fingers and Cloud grabbed Sephiroth's wrist. "S-sir..." Cloud panted, staring in wide eyed horror at the death in the man's eyes.

"You are a disappointment." Sephiroth said softly, holding Cloud out over the great expanse of sea. "I was expecting more. If you intend on joining SOLDIER you must improve, your guard is weak, your foot work needs an extensive overhaul and you have to learn to read your opponent more efficiently."

"S-Sephiroth..." Cloud gasped as fingers closed around his throat, he winced and bared his teeth, struggling violently but to no avail. "Please..." He gasped, his feet hanging uselessly as darkness encroached on his vision and Sephiroth's impossibly strong fingers closed around his throat like a vice.

"Hm." Sephiroth released Cloud who fell into a heap on the oddly solid floor, Junon flickered around them before turning back into walls. The room was deceptively small as Sephiroth turned his back and began walking purposefully towards the door, he reached out to unlock it but just as he did so the door burst inward. Zack stood there panting, eyes searching the room and finding Sephiroth staring at him in mild surprise. "Zack? What are you do-" He fell abruptly silent and spun around, Cloud's coughing had ceased. His eyes widened in surprise as Cloud slowly stood, the sword dangling from one hand, his head hanging low and his whole body encased in raging blue fire. "What on-" He had no time to finish the sentence as Cloud rushed him with a cry, his eyes narrowed in anger and both hands on the hilt of the sword. Zack gasped and stepped out of the way, his hands reaching for the buster sword on his back while Sephiroth stared in surprise and barely got Masamune up in time to deflect the surprisingly powerful blow. "Cloud?" He muttered but the boy wasn't listening, he rained several impossibly fast blows on Sephiroth's sword and pushed him back into a corner. Zack gaped uselessly from beside the ruined door. "Cadet Strife, cease and desist!" Sephiroth snapped, stepping back once again and sliding gracefully aside to avoid yet another blow aimed for his chest. Then he heard a voice in the very back of his mind, amidst the laughter it told him what he needed to say...

"WAKE UP!" Sephiroth snapped and Cloud froze, his face went blank and the sword fell from limp fingers to clatter to the ground at his feet. Sephiroth blinked and lowered his own sword, he stared at Cloud's vacant expression and noticed his eyes, a perfect imitation of his own. "Impossible." He breathed, only a little out of breath from the attack, he moved forward and lifted Cloud's face to his with one hand gripping his chin. "No...This cannot be..." He released the boy and stepped back again, possibilities of why this was so ran through his head at lightning speed until he thought it would explode.

"What...what the hell did you do?" Zack whispered, still standing by the door and watching with wide eyes.

"I...I do not know." Sephiroth breathed and moved away from the blank faced cadet, he had too much to consider. The ramifications were staggering and he knew that he could not face a conversation with Angeal's puppy. He turned and strode away, forcing Zack aside roughly as he escaped the holo room.

"Sephiroth...Sephiroth, wait! HEY!" Zack called after him but the man didn't even acknowledge his presence. "Shit!" He swore and turned to Cloud, he walked over to him and watched as Cloud unfroze and shook his head, lifting a hand to it as if he was developing a headache. "Cloud? Hey, Cloud, you all right?"

"Uhn...Y-yeah...I think so...Zack, what happened?" Cloud turned bright blue eyes to Zack with a terrified expression."I think I just blacked out...I don't...I don't remember anything after Sephiroth dropped me."

"You...er...you kinda lost it and attacked Sephiroth, had him cornered and everything." Zack replied, looking a little impressed.

"What?! Stop messing with me, I don't have that kind of strength, he was kicking my ass."

Zack shook his head and smiled a little as he ruffled Cloud's hair. "Hey, don't be too hard on yourself, you're a hell of a lot stronger than you think."

"Yeah, right." Cloud snorted, pushing Zack's hand away but a small smile tugged at his lips.

"Why did Sephiroth call you out here any way?"

"At first I had no idea but he said some stuff after he'd beaten me about my skills...I think...I think he was testing my abilities."

"Huh...everyone thought he was going to kill you."

"So did I." Cloud breathed, gazing at the sword in his hand as if he had only just noticed it, he wasn't sure when he had picked it up. "Did I...did I really...?"

"Yeah, you did. Come on, let's get you in the shower, you can use my apartment seeing as everyone's going to want to question you on what happened." Cloud numbly allowed himself to be guided out of the room, his eyes still wide and slightly unfocussed as he wondered just what had happened to make him attack his own general.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: Ok, depressing chapter now...but then, this is Cloud we're talking about here, not exactly a happy chappy is he? I will include a warning for attempted suicide and really, really depressing thoughts...also, Sexual harassment. Yeah...So, enjoy and please I really do appreciate any thoughts you may have on my writing, I am an author and always searching to improve myself, concrit is good. Thank you.**

Chapter Seven: Memories and a Reason to Live

Sephiroth sat before the glowing screen of his computer at his desk, he stared blankly at the screen as it splashed his face with colour. The room was dark, his secretary long gone and he was alone. His thoughts travelled dark paths, all the while the voice in his head whispering to him, giving soft encouragement and silent derision in equal measure. He had to make war. It was his calling, after all. He had to burn, ravage, tear, shred and rend every living creature on this goddess forsaken planet. It was his duty, his birthright. Sephiroth's fingers hovered above the keys, then began to type. He accessed the science departments files easily enough but when he went to inspect his own a message flashed across the screen; ACCESS DENIED. Even his pass codes weren't high enough to get him into the system. He paused and leaned back in his seat, gazing at the bright red letters in consternation. Why was he denied access to his own medical reports? He had never thought to look before so he had always assumed that it was available whenever he wanted it. He sighed, running one gloved hand through his hair as he leaned forward and tried two other codes, both of which were denied. Genesis could have hacked into it, he was certain, the SOLDIER had had an uncanny affinity with computers which was odd for someone raised in the country side. A memory seeped through then, one that was as welcome as it was painful...

 _The room was quiet as Sephiroth broke the lock, the door swung inward and Angeal gave him his patented disproving look. "If you do not like it, why are you here?" Sephiroth whispered._

" _I'm here to ensure you two keep out of trouble, do you know what you're starting here?"_

" _War." Genesis said in delight, eyes sparkling devilishly as he strode confidentially in through the door._

" _This isn't some stupid game, the Turks are not to be messed with!" Angeal hissed back, eyes darting up and down the corridor._

" _Oh come now, Angeal, it's just a bit of fun." Genesis chuckled and walked right over to the desk and computer. "Also, revenge. I will not tolerate being called impotent by those blue-suit bastards!"_

" _It was a throw away comment, hardly worth your attention. Just give this up before we get caught and demoted."_

 _Sephiroth smirked. "Us, demoted?" He snorted derisively. "The army would flounder without us."_

" _Big head much?" Angeal replied, arching an eyebrow._

" _Shut up you two." Genesis muttered. "Angeal, keep watch."_

 _Sephiroth saw his friend out the door and then slid behind the computer desk, he turned the machine on and watched it whir into life. He could feel Genesis bending behind him, one hand on his shoulder as they watched the pass word screen appear. Sephiroth's fingers hovered over the keys as he debated when finally Genesis sighed and pushed him out of the chair. "Out of the way, you're useless, Sephiroth." He began tapping away, the screen went black then code began to fill it, words, numbers and meaningless nonsense. Genesis began typing, eyes on the screen as he muttered softly to himself about things far beyond Sephiroth's understanding. He looked up towards the door and saw Angeal's hand appear, two fingers held up, then one, then three._

" _Genesis, hurry." Sephiroth muttered. "There are three Turks on the way, Veld among them."_

" _Ok, ok i'm hurrying!" Genesis hissed then finally gave a low chuckle of delight. "I'm in!" He sang. "Ok...hmm...interesting...I will be taking that, delete that...and theeeen..." The computer started making an awful noise and a bright flashing light appeared on the screen. "Got it! Now, we leave." Genesis stood up and left the room, Sephiroth following after, each of them grinning like loons. The Turks returned to their offices to find a large flashing picture of Genesis' face, all their files deleted and a sound track constantly playing Genesis' voice reciting LOVELESS over and over. It took them three days to recover the files and stop the insistent voice from pervading their entire floor over the tannoy system. The Turks didn't take long to retaliate and SOLDIER soon found their rooms trashed and all their underwear hung outside for the world to view._

Sephiroth smiled at the memory and even of the long, drawn out lecture they had received for acting like children, which was silly really because back then they had been children. Laughter had come so much easier when he had been with his friends, he remembered the havoc, the loud fights, the so called training that involved them breaking massively expensive equipment. It was a time of docked wages, false humility and the astounding arrogance of youth, back then they had all been immortal, death had never had a hold on them and they would always be friends. _So much for that_. Sephiroth sighed and turned off the screen, he hung his head and put his hands over his tired eyes. He was stressed beyond reasoning, his mind so full of anger and hatred he had immense difficulty controlling it. Genesis was gone, possibly dead for all he knew, Angeal was dead, murdered...no, that was too cruel of a word, _killed_ by his own pupil. ShinRa was a mess of dark lies, secrets of human experiments only now being forced into the light like some rotted carcass. The foetid stench of betrayal and intrigue went beyond the higher levels right up to the president himself, perhaps even his son...who knew anymore? He was certain that there were more secrets to still be told, he was certain that the more one dug the more corpses one would find and he was certain, above all, that he would be the one to uncover them. His very sanity depended on it.

XXX

Cloud stared into the mirror on the steamy bathroom wall, he gazed intently at his reflection and relived Sephiroth's words. Pathetic. Weak. He took a shuddery breath, those words cut deeper than any blade ever could, his body felt strained, exhausted, his mind scrambled by what had happened and he felt his dreams and aspirations shatter into a thousand shining pieces. SOLDIER? Who was he kidding? He was nothing. A small town hick-nobody who came to Midgar with shining eyes and an innocent heart...now what was he? A grunt. Canon fodder. Food for those higher on the chain than he was. Nothing. A waste of oxygen with nothing going for him except his feminine features. Maybe he should go to the Slums and sell his body like everyone suggested to him? He'd make more cash than he was here. He laughed, a bitter, broken sound that made him wonder if he really was losing his mind. He lifted one hand up to his face and fought back tears of shame, he could never go home. Not now. Not ever again. He couldn't bare to face the looks on the people's faces as he turned up, a failure, a disappointment. No, that would be unbearable. He couldn't face Tifa, especially not after the promise he had made, she would hate him and who could blame her?

He dipped his head, covering his eyes with his hair and when he looked back up he lifted a hand and wiped the condensation off of the mirror, his reflection stared back at him but it wasn't his reflection. It was his face, his mouth, his smooth, flawless skin but those eyes...they weren't his. They were incandescent, green with pupils slit downwards like a cats, he knew those eyes but they didn't belong in his face. The reflection smiled, more of a smirk and Cloud backed away, his back hitting the glass wall of the shower as he stared at this thing in the mirror. Terror pounded through his veins, his stomach tightened and his mouth went dry. The figure smiled and even seemed to laugh at him before suddenly vanishing and leaving little more than the steamy reflection of Cloud's own face, blond hair damp and limp, wide blue eyes full of fear. A knock at the door almost startled a scream out of him, he clamped his hand over his mouth as his heart leapt into his throat.

"Cloud? Hey, you all right in there?"

It took Cloud a moment or two to compose himself before he finally spoke, head turning to the door and the man on the other side of it. "Y-Yeah...just getting a towel."

"Ok, I got some beer out here if you want some."

"Sounds...sounds good." Cloud replied, unable to help the soft quaver in his voice as he glanced back at the mirror nervously.

"Do you want some food?"

"Um...yeah, sure."

"What do you fancy?"

"Whatever." Cloud shook his head, his voice sounded stronger than he felt and that was good, the last thing he needed was for Zack to find out that he was seeing hallucinations in the mirror. He stood on shaking knees and grabbed a towel before wrapping it round his waist and moving to unlock the door, he stepped out into Zack's immaculate bedroom, a typical military room with a double bed and scrupulously folded laundry. Zack's heavily polished boots sat by the bed and Cloud's uniform was also folded neatly and waiting for him, he ignored it and slowly moved out into the hall towards the living room and Zack's off tune humming. He peered around the door and saw Zack bending over the small fridge, he admired the curve of his arse, eyes travelling over his back to the spiky black hair that was just barely visible above the fridge door.

The rooms were open plan and stark, no ornaments stood on the shelves, only books and Cloud was certain that those books contained nothing but reams of history and tactics and weaponry information. Then Zack seemed to feel his gaze, he straightened and turned around, sharp blue eyes flickered with some unidentifiable emotion as Zack raked them over Cloud's exposed body. Zack was impressed, despite Cloud's small frame he was evenly muscled, his waist almost womanish in its width and his bare shoulders more rounded than a man's. It was the underdeveloped body of a boy and Zack was again reminded of his age. Fifteen years old, the same age he had been when he had left Gongaga. He smiled and held out a cold beer for Cloud, forcing his eyes away from the soft blond down on Cloud's deliciously flat stomach, he had to force his mind from the gutter as he imagined pouring some of that beer into Cloud's belly button and using his tongue to-

"What's wrong?" Cloud asked, holding the drink in one hand and watching Zack watch him.

"Oh...oh um...nothing, take a seat!" He said and forced a smile, it must have looked strange because Cloud looked at him warily as he slid past him into the living area. Zack watched him, wondering why he hadn't put his clothes back on, the towel was tortuously short but long enough to hide what lay beneath, a highly frustrating combination that fed the fires of Zack's inflated sex-drive. Taking a breath he moved to the kitchen and began putting some food together.

They ate in virtual silence, Zack noted that Cloud was drinking rather a lot and became worried as he fell deeper and deeper into brooding silence. His eyes darkened into twin pits of deep blue, inscrutable against his pale skin. He stared down at the can clutched in both his hands and a small frown creased his forehead. He worried at his bottom lip and seemed lost deep in thought. "Cloud?"

Cloud looked up, blinking in surprise. "Yes?"

"What's wrong? You look down."

Cloud's smile was forced. "I'm fine."

"I don't think you are, what happened? Was it Sephiroth?"

Cloud looked away. "I'm fine." He repeated.

"Look, if you want to talk I'm here for you."

"I...I have to go." Cloud mumbled, standing up and walking back to the bedroom. "I shouldn't have come here...I'm sorry..." He began putting on his uniform quickly, seemingly unaware of Zack's eyes on him. Once he was fully dressed, hair still a little damp, he ducked past Zack and towards the door.

"Hey, Cloud, wait!"

"No. I really have to get back to the barracks...people will wonder where I am."

"Why? Who cares what other people think!" Zack replied, grabbing Cloud's wrist only to have it yanked roughly away, large blue eyes looked up at him and Zack thought he saw a flicker of something behind them, something not quite human. He stepped backwards and Cloud turned away, picking up his boots and forcing them back onto his feet.

"Thank you." Cloud breathed, barely a whisper of air past his lips as he averted his gaze and pulled open the door. "For...everything." He ran. Zack watched him go feeling lost, he must have missed something, perhaps he had said something insensitive? He didn't know and Cloud obviously wasn't telling.

"Shit." He sighed and returned to his living room, he fell onto the sofa and ran his hands through his hair. Everything was so messed up it was giving him a headache.

XXX

Junon was silent as Cloud walked the streets, his hand on his gun and eyes darting from left to right. He had lost the rest of his unit somewhere along the way and was now trying to find them again, he had seen only the barest glimpses of Turks wondering about on their own mysterious missions. He knew Zack was here somewhere too but he didn't know where, the streets were crawling with what people were calling Genesis clones and he had already done his fair share of fighting, after all the mission was to eradicate them. He checked his ammo as he paused near a side alley, he was running low and really had to get back to his Unit. With a sigh he slung his rifle over his shoulder an moved on again, keeping an ear and eye out for any sign of his fellow blue-clad infantrymen. So far he had managed to avoid Zack since the time he had been to his apartment, it was better this way, he couldn't stand the idea that Zack would somehow break down all the walls he had built up over his sordid past. He needed his secrets to remain, if he broke those walls he feared that he himself would break like fine china on a hard floor. He was so fragile it really was pathetic. Allowing himself to get too close to Zack would mean destruction for himself and for everything he thought he knew, that much was obvious. Yet Zack had somehow already got under his skin, he missed that bright, easy smile, the brash confidence that he radiated and the gentle touch of his hand in his hair. It was stupid. All so, so stupid. He knew what was happening, he was falling for him, it was like standing on the edge of a cliff and knowing that if you took one step forward you would be obliterated on the sharp rocks below and yet being unable to avoid jumping, just because the last thrill would be so totally freeing and indescribably awesome that its irresistible. Cloud had decided not to leap.

He broke into a trot as voices reached him, he rounded a corner and saw several of his unit just finishing off a group of rapidly degrading Genesis clones. Cloud moved towards his commander and when he spotted him he nodded. "Where did you get to Strife?"

"I was held up, sir! I'm sorry sir!" He saluted but the commander seemed too tired to admonish him.

"Very well, apparently General Sephiroth has arrived and the Turks are finishing up rounding up the last of the enemies. We're getting a transport out in an hour."

Cloud looked over his shoulder as he felt eyes on him, he saw a group of dark clad Turks standing around the entrance to an alley, one of them lifted a hand in acknowledgement. The red haired Reno. They all looked utterly unruffled, their weapons were bloody however and one of them was smoking, he could see the burning red of the end of the cigarette as it rose and fell from the man's lips. It was a little scary how calm and composed they looked, he could even hear their laughter. As he watched Reno leaned forward to whisper something to his comrades, a smirk graced his face and one of the women, a small blond, laughed loudly. Cloud blinked and looked away again.

The transport back was by helicopter, much to Cloud's disappointment. He couldn't stop and get out if he needed to puke, but somehow he managed to hold it in by doing some deep breathing exercises that Zack had taught him. Zack was here somewhere, Cloud could hear him talking with the pilot, he refused to look up, even when he felt his eyes on him. He gazed down at his knees and ignored everyone around him, luckily no one troubled him as they all knew of his travel sickness.

He returned with the rest of his tired Unit and, after his commander had given them all the usual speech of what a good job they had done, he walked back to the barracks feeling more dispirited than his companions. He heard them chattering away loudly, discussing what they were going to do with their free evening, most of them were headed for Wall Market and the infamous Honey Bee Inn as they had somehow managed to get their hands on a pass. "Cloud, will you be coming?"

Cloud looked up and shook his head but before he could speak someone else spoke for him. "He won't get in, the girls at the Inn aren't lesbians." They all guffawed appreciatively at this poor joke.

He felt someone fling an arm around him, drawing him to their side and he slipped free. "Aw, c'mon, Cloud, just one freebie! I'm dying here! I haven't seen a decent pair of tits since I got leave last month!"

Someone grabbed Cloud's top and tried to extract it from his trousers, he struggled but more people grabbed him from behind and held his arms still. "Get off of me!" He shouted and lifted his leg up, trying to kick at the boy struggling with his top.

"Just one look, I need some wank material!" The others laughed again and Cloud felt his top unzip and his chest revealed. "Aw, he really is a guy." The boy said in disappointment.

"Doesn't mean he's not worth something, if you fuck 'im doggy style it won't matter." Cloud struggled again but felt himself being dragged out of the hall and into an empty room, it looked like a store room. He was flung into a corner where he hit his head, he was still tired from all the fighting they'd just done but it seemed his Unit members weren't. They loomed over him, leering and giggling like hyenas. He crouched low, a snarl on his face as he watched them advance.

"Hey, d'you reckon that the General's had a piece of this?" One asked, turning to his friend who grinned maliciously.

"Probably, I wouldn't say no if it were me."

"What's he giving you in return?" The other looked at Cloud curiously. "Promotion? Extra training?"

"Fuck off!" Cloud hissed, lunging in an attempt to get past them but several arms grabbed him and threw him back to the floor, he was pinned there as hands began to undo his belt. He lashed out with his feet, attempting to take out one of his attackers but failed. Finally his belt was undone and hot hands delved into his underwear, he gasped, eyes widening at the awful touch but before anything could happen the door opened.

"I'd stop that if I were you, yo." Slowly the group of boys turned, eyes wide and faces rapidly draining of colour.

"W-who?" One began but his friend hissed back; _Turks_. They froze and stared at the red haired man in the door way.

"Get up. Get gone before I start breakin' teeth." Reno said softly, grinning like a mad man. They scattered, none of them even looking back, Reno snorted derisively. "Fuckin' cowards, yo." He turned his eyes back to Cloud who took the time to pull his jacket back around himself in some lame attempt at decency. "You all righ'?" Cloud nodded, looking anywhere but at the Turk, he was afraid of what his expression might be. "Well, I'd recommend gettin' yourself sorted out, yo. Wouldn't be good to be seen like this." Reno stared down at Cloud before shaking his head and holding out his hand. "C'mon, get up."

Cloud briefly looked up, flushed bright red and lowered his head again. "No, thank you i'm fine." He stood up on his own and quickly zipped up his top before doing up his belt.

"Did they...?" Reno asked, unwilling to finish that sentence.

"No." Cloud replied.

"Good, I 'spose." Reno sighed heavily and pushed his hair back from his eyes. "Don' tell Zack, he's pretty irrational by anyone's standards, yo."

"I know. He won't find out." Cloud slipped past the Turk, despising the look of pity on his face. He left and walked straight back to his dorm, to the safety of his bed and a sleep disturbed by voices and nightmares.

XXX

No one asked how he got up there, even if they had all he had to do was show them the Sephiroth's key card. He still had it, clutched in one sweaty gloved hand. The SOLDIER floor was large, the lounge area full of people sitting around and drinking coffee, tea and generally taking a break. Cloud moved through them like a wraith, no one seemed to take any notice of him. He slipped through some doors and into a corridor he walked down it with no direction in mind. The walls were stark and grey, as dull as anything else in the metal monstrosity that dominated the Midgar skyline. Cloud moved through the corridor and turned into another, he spotted what appeared to be a balcony and felt his heart skip a beat. His feet took him towards the double glass windows and he stepped out into the cool night. The city below was bathed in green and gold light, he tipped his head back and gazed up at the stars as they twinkled coldly above him. Slowly, as if he were in a dream, he climbed up the low railing and balanced on it, staring down 49 floors to the barely visible street below.

The height was dizzying, the drop dragging at his body as if it knew what he was considering doing. He blinked and slowly tipped his head back again to gaze up at the sky, a sky that was invisible to all those down beneath the plates in the slums. Those poor bastards who had only metal and lights to look at. Perhaps there were people better off than him but he doubted any of them had to suffer through excruciating bouts of sleeplessness, long periods of time where they had no idea where they had been or what had happened to them, they didn't have to listen to voices that laughed and taunted them at every opportunity. They weren't disappointments. Failures. They weren't plagued by the feeling of helplessness that engulfed him every time he thought about his life. Cloud had had enough. He would never be strong enough, never good enough. It was better for everyone if he simply jumped...

His foot moved half an inch and he felt his balance fail him, a soft gasp escaped his throat and he fell forward, it was strange, like falling in slow motion. Then someone shouted, something grabbed the back of his uniform, causing it to tear along the seams of his arms. Voices. A heart wrenching yank as he was pulled over the railing and thrown to cold, hard ground. A sound slipped past his throat, it was the sound of a fatally wounded animal, a sound that, in ordinary circumstances, he would have been ashamed of but now he didn't care. He couldn't care anymore.

Gloved hands pushed his hair back from his damp face, he didn't know when it had started to rain, the sky had been so clear only moments ago. Slowly he forced his eyes open and found himself staring up into a pair of glowing, familiar eyes. "You fucking idiot!" Zack gasped, drawing his shuddering body close. "What the hell were you thinking?!" Cloud blinked a couple of times before slowly easing himself from Zack's grip, he shuffled backwards and stood on violently shaking legs. He looked away, one arm crossing his body in a protective gesture as he glared at the ground. He clamped his mouth shut and refused to look up, even though Zack moved closer and put a hand under his chin to try to get his attention. "Cloud?"

"I'm fine." He breathed and stepped away, trying to dislodge Zack's hand but he was too strong, he was pulled back and into a warm embrace. "Get off of me." He muttered, pushing at Zack's chest.

"No. Not until you tell me why I had to save your stupid ass from becoming street pizza."

Anger flared up inside him, tinting the world green as he finally yanked himself free of Zack, he glared at him furiously. "It's all right for you, isn't it, Mr. First Class SOLDIER?! You've got it all, confidence, strength, ability! You're...you're brilliant at everything you do! It's so easy for you! I've seen you, you can talk to anyone, make loads of friends just with that stupid smile! You don't know what its like for me, at all!" He swiped a hand through the air in his anger, stepping back again as Zack stepped forward, his back hit the railings and he shook his head, putting his hands to it and bending over. "I can't take it anymore! I don't know what's happening to me! I'm sick! I'm tired...I'm so, so tired all the damned time! And then there's _her_...always talking to me, always muttering away inside my damned head! I'VE HAD ENOUGH I WANT OUT!" His scream echoed around the building, he was panting and shaking and he felt the hot, bitter sting of un-shed tears in his eyes.

Zack gazed at his friend feeling suddenly, horribly helpless. He could fight off an army but he was useless against Cloud's demons.

"I'm useless. Pathetic. I was dreaming when I thought I could even attempt to reach Sephiroth's level...stupid. As stupid as those fools back home! They were right...everyone's right...I should just...just give up. No one cares. No one would even notice. I just...I wish..." He trailed off sliding to the floor and sitting there with his arms wrapped around his knees and his forehead pressed against them. "I'm finished." He whispered.

Zack sighed heavily, he glanced through the glass doors to see a group of people standing there and watching avidly like people at a spectators sport. He glared at them and they slowly began drifting away. "Cloud," He began as he inched closer, still afraid that even now Cloud would turn and throw himself off of the ShinRa building, when Cloud made no move to get up Zack slid down and sat beside him. "I can't say that I understand, that'd be lying...I'm one of those horribly lucky people who reach and grab what they want and achieve it without seeming to break a sweat. I was lucky that I found a good tutor...Angeal...he was like a father figure to me." He smiled softly at the memories of his mentor. "He gave me the leg up I needed...So, yeah, I was lucky." he paused as he eyed Cloud in his peripheral vision, Cloud didn't seem to be listening but he continued on anyway. "I guess what i'm trying to say is...that you should never give up on your dreams. If being SOLDIER is what you really want then reach for it with both hands and don't let go...if you...want to be SOLDIER then you've got to have dreams, and honour." He closed his eyes and smiled softly. "Hm. Yeah, always got to keep your honour as SOLDIER."

Slowly Cloud lifted his head, staring at Zack's profile over the top of his arm. "But...what does that even mean?" He asked softly.

"That you have to find out for yourself." Zack looked at him and his smile brightened, he reached up and ruffled Cloud's hair.

"But...I'm not strong enough." Cloud whispered after shrugging off Zack's hand, he once again hid his face.

"You're stronger than you think, ya'know. Geez..." Zack sighed and rubbed his hair, tipping his head back to gaze up at the stars. "You held your own against Sephiroth, that's strength-" He paused and cocked his head, frowning a little. "I think I know what your problem is."

"What?" Cloud mumbled from where he sat, still with his head buried in his arms. "You have no will to live."

Cloud looked up then, arching an eyebrow. "How do you know? I fight to make sure I don't die."

"Do you?" Zack shook his head doubtfully. "You don't fight as if you're trying to avoid dying, I don't think it's about fighting anymore for you, is it?" He gazed at Cloud's confused expression and laughed. "I'm not making myself clear, look; to win you've got to have some will to live or there's no point in fighting at all. When you fight you just run in there as if you're trying to impale yourself on the end of their sword. That's not going to let you win a battle, that's going to get you killed. Do you see? You need to find your reason for living, find it and fight for it."

Cloud gazed thoughtfully into the distance before nodding slowly. "I think I get it..." He said slowly. "But how do I find a reason to live?"

"I can't help you with that one, sorry." Zack smiled and stood up, he held out his hand and Cloud gazed at it for a moment before allowing himself to be dragged to his feet.

"Z-Zack?" Cloud said in a small voice, Zack looked down at him and Cloud stood on tip-toe and kissed him. "Thanks." He whispered, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as he turned and walked to the door. "I think...I've already found it." He breathed, glancing back once at Zack who stood, dumbfounded on the cold balcony as Cloud moved back into the building.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Ok, I would just like to explain what's been happening with this story. I took down what chapters I uploaded because I didn't like the abruptness of them nor did I particularly like what I had written. So, I am going back and trying to move a bit slower with things, I hope you can forgive me. In this chapter there's a lot of Cloud/Zack, woohoo! Enjoy and any comments/reviews or whatever would be really great, thanks.**

Chapter Eight: Deliverance

There had been a sudden increase in monster sightings throughout the world, ShinRa decided to send a team to see what was happening. The first stop was Kalm, a small town a few hours walk from Midgar. Sephiroth strode into the town, causing people to stare and start to mutter behind their hands. He was used to being stared at, it came with the territory of being who he was and what he represented; hope and fear. Behind him Zack walked beside the quiet form of Cloud, chatting away with hands behind his head as he smiled and joked lightly, Sephiroth chose to ignore his infectious laugh, he didn't mind it however, it kept the moral up of the others.

"E-Excuse me, sir?"

Sephiroth looked down at an old man who was staring at him with an expression of awe. "Yes?"

"Are you the team sent by ShinRa to help us with the monsters?"

"We are. Can you direct us to the nearest Inn, we will be in need of a base of operations whilst we deal with the issue."

"Of course, sir. If you just follow me. I'm the Mayor, I was informed of your arrival but you're earlier than I had expected."

"Kalm isn't far from Midgar, the journey was easy."

"I see. Then please." He started off and Sephiroth indicated for his men to follow.

The Inn was very basic but comfortable, they were given rooms with the infantry sharing and Zack and Sephiroth sharing another room. Zack was restless, he walked from one end of the room to the next, inspecting everything he could before obviously growing bored and sighing frequently. "Why are they sending us to deal with monsters?" He whined, throwing himself on the bed and staring up at the ceiling. "That's infantry's job."

"These aren't ordinary monsters, they are suspected to have escaped from Hojo's lab."

"Oooh." Zack sat up again and stared at Sephiroth intently. "So we've gotta take 'em out?" he said, grinning. "I can't wait! I've been so bored lately!"

Sephiroth gave Zack a small smile. "You may yet change your mind, these monsters are going to be tougher than normal it will be dangerous."

"Ah, danger-shmanger! I'll be all right."

Sephiroth couldn't help but chuckle, despite his reservations when Angeal had first taken Zack on as a protege he had come to like him. Zack had got up and was in the middle of doing some energetic squats."What about Cloud? Aren't you worried about him?" He asked, stopping Zack mid-squat, he gazed at Sephiroth as if just realising what he had said.

"I never thought..." He muttered, straightening and rubbing the back of his neck. He frowned. "I suppose we'll have to protect him."

"He must learn to protect himself." Sephiroth said softly as he rose and moved to the door. "I am going to take a shower." He walked away leaving Zack to think on his words.

XXX

Cloud was in the lounge of the Inn with Johnny when they spotted Sephiroth at the main desk, Cloud looked up from the book he had been reading-some stuffy romance novel that he had picked up because he was bored-and stared at Sephiroth's back.

"Is there anywhere I can purchase some shampoo?"

Johnny blinked at the desk and hid a smirk behind his hand, Cloud eyed him. "What's wrong?"

"It's funny to imagine that the General does something as mundane as wash his hair." Johnny said with an amused shrug.

"He has a lot of it, it must be expensive." Cloud replied quietly.

Johnny sniggered again, "Wonder what brand he uses?"

"Don't know the brand but it's expensive and he likes vanilla scented stuff." Cloud said absently as he turned a page in his book, Johnny stared at him with wide eyes. "What?" Cloud looked up at his friend with a frown.

"How in the world do you even know that?"

A small flush gathered on Cloud's cheeks as he dipped his head and looked away. "It's on his fan-site." He mumbled, hiding in his scarf and refusing to meet Johnny's gaze. Johnny laughed harder, clutching at his sides until Cloud hit him with his book. "Shut up!" He shouted but to no affect. "Johnny, stop it! People are staring!"

"I-I...I can't believe...y-you're...a member of Sephiroth's...f-fan club..." Johnny had tears in his eyes as he clutched his belly, still laughing loudly.

"What's all the noise?" Cloud looked up from where he was trying to strangle Johnny to find Zack gazing down at him from behind the sofa, he released his friend and kicked him in the shin for good measure. But, when he opened his mouth to speak Johnny cut in.

"He's a member of the Silver Elite!" He said eagerly, staring intently at Cloud's crimson face.

"What?"

"Johnny, you're a dick." Cloud muttered.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with that." Zack said with a large smile as he moved around the sofa and threw himself down on it. "I was a major contributor to Angeal's fan club. People seriously will pay through the nose to have even the tiniest piece of gossip about those three, its sad really...but on my wages I needed some sort of surplus income."

"You sold information on Angeal?!" Cloud's eyes widened and Zack laughed.

"Only little bits, like I said, even the most insignificant thing made people go crazy. Angeal really liked plants...Like, _really_ liked plants. He was weird." A misty look crossed Zack's face before he sighed and his smile fell a little, he turned to Cloud. "Hey, I came to find you so I could have a word..." He trailed off and looked over at Johnny who was hiccoughing to himself.

"Oh...yeah, sure...I'll get out of your hair." He smirked at Cloud before dodging the kick aimed at him and walking away.

"He's such a bastard." Cloud muttered darkly before turning to Zack. "What's wrong?"

"Can we go upstairs...?"

"Oh, yeah...sure." Zack took Cloud back to the bedroom he was sharing with Sephiroth, he pulled Cloud inside by the hand and over to the bed nearest the window, he sat down on it and looked up into Cloud's eyes. "I've been wanting to talk to you for a while..."

"About what?" Cloud asked, feeling Zack's hand still around his wrist, it almost burnt.

"About what you said the other day, I haven't had a chance to talk to you because we've both been so busy lately." A vaguely sulky look crossed Zack's face but it was quickly stifled. "I want to know what you meant by it."

"I-I..." Cloud bit his bottom lip, remembering that moment as if it were yesterday. "Zack...I...It was...I mean..." Zack smiled and suddenly gave Cloud's wrist a sharp tug, Cloud gasped and was pulled into his lap. He looked up through his hair into Zack's eyes and shifted into a more comfortable position. "We shouldn't be doing this." He whispered, eyes darting around as if he expected Sephiroth to return at any moment.

"So? I've given up caring." Zack said softly, grabbing Cloud around the waist and pulling him in for a long kiss. "I've had enough of dancing around like we have been. Just give it a go, it might be fun."

"But you're...you're my superior...you'll get into trouble." Cloud breathed, flushing helplessly.

"Geeze, you're such a worrier! Cloud, just kiss me." Cloud hesitated, eyes darting to the door. "You're worried about Sephiroth? Do you know how long that guy takes to wash his hair? Hours. Literally hours. Now just relax would you?"

Cloud nodded before taking a breath, he looked into Zack's eyes and wrapped both arms around his neck, "I meant it." He whispered against Zack's lips, all hesitation leaving as he felt Zack's arms surround him. "You're my reason for living. Don't leave me alone, please."

"Never." Zack closed the tiny gap between their lips and they kissed again, this time Cloud let himself go, he tipped his head to the side and accepted Zack's eager tongue into his mouth. When they finally had to pull away Zack ran his hands slowly up Cloud's back before smiling and suddenly lifting Cloud up and turning, he flung him on the bed and crawled on afterwards, his knees either side of Cloud's thighs and his hands by his head. Cloud looked up, effectively trapped by Zack, even if he did decide to sit up he would be pushing himself into Zack's arms, there was no escape and really, he didn't want there to be. Zack's next kiss was full of the promise of things to come, Cloud moaned heavily into his mouth, hardly caring if anyone heard it. The world had condensed until it contained only the two of them, Zack's calloused hand slid under Cloud's top, finger tips sliding over the muscles of his abdomen and making him shudder. Zack ran his hands beneath Cloud's top, feeling him arch into the intimate touch and he smirked into the kiss. He ran a tongue over Cloud's lips and nipped at the bottom one before moving down to his throat. He sat up, staring down at Cloud's flushed and slightly dazed expression, he began undoing the leather straps that held his armour in place before letting them slide to the floor, he reached down and began tugging his top over his head but at that moment he heard a rather loud cough.

Zack lowered his top and turned his head to find Sephiroth standing at the door, his chest was bare, the leather coat he usually wore was draped over one arm and his hair was dripping wet. Cloud went as red as a tomato before suddenly going as pale as if he was sick, he sat up, nearly head butting Zack in the process and slithered from beneath him. Without looking at either of them he fled the room, Sephiroth watched him go, head cocked to one side curiously before turning to Zack and arching an eyebrow. "That was quite the surprise." Sephiroth said as he stepped into the room and closed it silently behind him. Zack had released his top but hadn't tucked it back in so it was wrinkled enough to show his lower belly and the dark treasure trail that disappeared into his trousers. "I understand that Heidegger has put in place rules against us forming relationships with those of lower station than we are."

Zack's face screwed up in consternation. "Yeah, but when has anyone actually listened to the fat bastard?"

Sephiroth chuckled. "Don't let him overhear you say things like that, he is, after all, the Head of Public Safety. I would advise caution in this Zack, I'm sure Angeal would have done the same."

Zack sighed and threw himself onto the bed. "Yeah, well, none of you ever liked someone in the infantry, have you?"

"No but I do remember Angeal having a crush on President ShinRa's secretary at one point, I think he even wrote her love notes."

Zack sat up, eyes wide. " _Angeal_?! What did the President do?"

Sephiroth smirked, "He ended the woman's career out of jealousy, apparently he is the only one who can have love affairs, despite his marriage."

Zack stared at Sephiroth with wide round eyes before suddenly leaning forward. "What about you? Anyone catch the fancy of the Great General, Hero of Wutai?" He sniggered and saw Sephiroth smile a little.

"No. I cannot say that anyone has ever really interested me quite that much." He replied but Zack thought he saw his eyes dart to the door where Cloud had just disappeared, he wondered if he had imagined it. "I have had...quite a few encounters with others but...I've never felt anything except lust for them." His voice trailed off before he shook his head and laughed softly again. "Why am I even discussing this? It doesn't matter."

Zack seemed eager to get more information however. "So, girls or boys?" He asked, grinning. Sephiroth stood up and began putting his coat back on, doing up the straps with quick movements.

"Both." He replied and returned Zack's smile. "Now come, we have work to do."

"Yeah, yeah, just let me get dressed properly." Zack sighed and picked up his armour, his mind racing from this new and personal information about Sephiroth. He wondered why the usually close man had bothered opening up to him, everyone had been saying that lately he hadn't been quite himself. He spent too much time locked away, only going out on missions when needed and barely even speaking to anyone unless he really had to. It was odd that he had just given Zack some rather intimate details concerning his mysterious life, perhaps he really was cracking under the pressure? Zack paused and looked back at his general, seeing the way he was staring at the door as if trying to see through the wood. A chill ran down his spine, was Sephiroth interested in Cloud? If so, did Zack even stand a chance? He knew Cloud worshipped the man, he had put up with many evenings of Cloud's long discussions about why Sephiroth was so cool. Did that mean Cloud had a crush on him? Zack sighed and shook his head, he had to stop thinking like that. Sephiroth was not a man to chase after mere infantry soldiers, especially ones who were obviously with someone else, surely he had more honour than that?

XXX

They crowded around the front gates to the town, civilians were gathered around and staring as if they were about to put on a show. Cloud shifted nervously. He began checking his gun for the hundredth time, simply so he didn't have to look at either Zack or Sephiroth. "Our mission is to eradicate these monsters, there are suspicions that they may have escaped Hojo's laboratory, so we must do everything in our power to protect civilians. They will not be easy to destroy." Sephiroth was saying as Zack stood at his side, arms folded and eyes on the distant grassy planes. "Zack, I want you to lead a small team and flush out any monsters you discover, take this." He handed Zack a bottle and Zack opened it, downing the contents.

"Ugh...tastes like shit, like always." He gagged but when he lifted his head Cloud was close enough to see his pupils dilate and his eyes glow a little more brightly. Sephiroth smiled and turned to Cloud and his unit, Johnny saluted and Cloud followed suit.

"Unit twelve you will be coming with me." He ordered.

"Sir, yes sir!" They chorused.

Excitement flared in Cloud, he would get to see Sephiroth in action and he wasn't the opponent. It was everything he had ever dreamed about and more. "Hey, hey hey Sephiroth, Sephiroth...can we go now? Huh? I wanna go!" Zack was bouncing a little on his feet like an overeager puppy and Sephiroth sighed.

"We really should restrict who we give Hyper to." He muttered to himself. "Ok, Zack. Move out!"

"Woohoo! Let's go kick some monster ass!" Zack yelled and strode away, leading his team behind him.

"Our job is to destroy any monster that comes near the town, Zack and his team will be flushing them out and they will be angry. I warn you all again to stay on your toes."

"Sir, yes sir!"

"Very well then. Take your positions." Cloud moved up to the entrance to the town, taking his place beside Sephiroth who stood utterly still, his sword in hand, although Cloud hadn't even seen where it had come from. How did he manage to hide a seven foot sword? He stared at his profile, awed by his utter calm until Sephiroth turned his head enough to let Cloud see that he was aware of his gaze. Cloud looked away, staring out over the planes. Visibility was perfect, they'd see the monsters coming a mile off. "Well, at least we won't really have to do any fighting." Johnny said easily, grinning as he adjusted his helmet. "Sephiroth's with us."

"I wouldn't get cocky, Johnny." Cloud replied softly, gazing around and keeping an eye out for any rogue monsters. "He might be the best there is but he's not going to spend his precious time protecting us when we should be able to defend ourselves." He once again checked his gun absent-mindedly. "I swear I had more ammo than this...Johnny-" His eyes widened when he raised his head and spotted the first few monsters running full pelt towards the town. "Sir! Over there!" He pointed and Sephiroth spotted them, he smiled.

"Well done, Cloud. Perhaps you're not as clueless as I first anticipated." he laughed softly and strode forward to meet the enemy. Sephiroth gauged the situation with a sweep of his eyes before looking up. "I will deal with this one." He said pointing and Cloud followed his gaze, his own eyes widened. Above them was a horrible looking dragon-like creature, it was varying shades of pink and purple, it's wings looked more like the bones of a hand. "What the hell is that?!" One of his team members exclaimed. "Dragon Zombie, it is well beyond your abilities to cope with. Deal with the Grand Horns." He pointed at the charging beasts, Cloud assumed that the rumours of these monsters having escaped the labs were likely true. None of these creatures were natives to this region. He raised his gun as the Grand Horns drew closer.

The dragon dived at Sephiroth who lifted his sword, both hands on the hilt. Cloud had no time to watch as he was forced to lift his gun and fire rapidly as the Grand Horns bore down upon them. Sephiroth leapt into the air, meeting the dragon half way and sending his sword straight through its heart. It let out a scream and beat its wings, sending poisonous gas towards Sephiroth who smirked and ripped his blade free, using his feet to push against the beasts chest he flipped backwards and landed back upon the ground. He watched as the beast began drifting down, its flight jerky and hesitant due to its wound. Sephiroth lifted his sword again and, as it drew closer, he swept it in a glittering arc, slicing the thing in two.

Gun fire shattered the air, the infantry aimed at the charging beasts and a few fell and crumpled, they were crushed under their fellows and Cloud gasped as he began to reload. One of the Third Class SOLDIERs they had brought with them, one of the few left since Genesis had gone AWOL, ran forward with a cry, sword lifted above his head but he was too slow. The Grand horns ran right over him, his sword was knocked from his hands and landed near Cloud who had once again run out of bullets. He tossed his gun aside as one of the Great Horns ran at him, throwing its massive head around, he wrapped his hands around the sword and held it before him in a ready stance. His eyes narrowed and his sight condensed until all he saw was the beast. It drew closer, he tensed and waited until it was just within reach of his blade, when it was he swung. The tip passed over the enraged beasts eyes, it screamed, snorting hot breath over Cloud as he leapt back. He dived out of the way of those dangerous horns and rolled, falling easily into a crouch and adjusting his grip on the sword once again. It was blind now, moving only by its sense of smell, it tossed its head again and Cloud saw it turn to aim its next charge at Johnny who was struggling to reload his gun. Cloud's train of thought failed him, his mind went blank and his body acted. He leapt, legs pushing him high into the air as he brought his sword above his head, releasing a battle cry. The blade swung downwards, slicing through the beasts spine and severing it. Cloud landed again, bending his knees and straightening. He blinked dazedly around at everyone who was now staring at him with mouths open. "Huh?" He managed, lifting the sword up and staring at it in wonder. "When did I-what happened?" He swayed a little and stumbled but strong hands caught him, he was surrounded by the scent of vanilla and roses and he turned his head to see Sephiroth smiling at him before he passed out.

XXX

Cloud came around to find himself staring up into blue eyes, he groaned and put a hand to his head. "What happened?" He asked.

"According to Sephiroth you just saved a team mate from being skewered." Zack replied, grinning broadly. "You've got some hidden talent in there." He poked Cloud's chest and made him wiggle a little. "Sephiroth seemed impressed, takes a lot to impress him. So, how're you feeling?"

"Fine, I think." Cloud sat up and gazed around the empty room, several beds were lined up in a row and the curtains blew softly in the breeze. "How did you do?"

"Hmm...we lost a member to some poison but other than that it was ok."

"Has the Hyper worn off?"

"Yeah, I hate that stuff but it gives you stamina and if you're battling several opponents its useful."

"I read about them." Cloud nodded. "It's a stimulant given to SOLDIER operatives during certain missions, it can be addictive."

"Don't worry, I'm fine. I don't always need them."

"Sephiroth didn't have one."

"Well, no...he's...different." Zack said slowly, frowning a little before shrugging. "I suppose being raised by ShinRa gives you super powers." He smirked and Cloud returned it.

"Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're ok." Cloud leaned up and placed a kiss on Zack's lips before drawing away and flushing.

XXX

They stayed in Kalm for a day longer, just to keep an eye on the situation and ensure the monsters had been eradicated. Cloud and Zack went for a walk around the town, they had some food in one of the restaurants and then, as they left, it began to rain. Cloud paused and looked up at the darkening sky, the sun was barely peeking through the clouds but what light there was made the rain sparkle and shimmer like tiny droplets of pure crystal. Cloud tipped his head back and closed his eyes, allowing the water to run over his face, cooling his flushed skin. Zack gaped at him, unable to help it, Cloud looked beautiful. The rain caught in his hair, it trickled down his throat and he wore a tiny smile on his lips. "Hey, Zack?"

"Uh...yeah?" Zack said, blinking.

"Do you miss the rain in Midgar?"

"I've never thought about it before." Zack said honestly, he looked up and imitated Cloud. He had to admit, it was pleasant.

"I used to play in the rain all the time as a kid." Cloud said, lifting his arms out to his sides, his smile growing. "I loved it. My mother...she thought I would catch a cold but I never did. It feels...nice."

"Cloud?" Zack said after a brief pause.

"Mm?" Cloud felt arms slide around his waist and he opened his eyes, he smiled at Zack as their lips met. He drew himself closer, wrapping his arms around Zack's neck as he was almost lifted off his feet. The kiss deepened and he moaned softly, tangling the fingers of one hand into Zack's spiky hair. They stumbled a little and Cloud felt a cold wall at his back, the rain soaked through his clothes but he didn't care, he let himself enjoy the heat of the body pressing against him. He sank himself into the kiss, allowing it to dull his senses and consume him.

"Fuck Cloud," Zack gasped, pulling away and staring down at Cloud with wide eyes. "What the hell do you do to me?" He didn't wait for an answer as he pulled Cloud to him again, pushing him further into the wall and shoving his hands roughly beneath his top. He felt Cloud shuddering against him, mumbling something incoherent against his lips but he was too far gone. He used his free hand to slide into Cloud's trousers, causing him to bite down on Zack's lower lip in surprise. Zack smirked and refused to allow Cloud to break the kiss as he took hold of his erection in one gloved hand. It was cold but Cloud felt as if he was burning up, he writhed against Zack helplessly, making sounds he would have been humiliated by at any other time. He groaned and let his head fall back to hit the wall behind him. He muttered Zack's name as he felt that hand squeezing him, moving slowly up and down and driving him insane. He swore softly, pushing his hips forward and dragging Zack down into another intoxicating kiss.

They were hidden by a large house from the view of those at the Inn, the shadows shrouded them and encased them in their own little rain soaked world. Cloud felt a hand clamped over his mouth and Zack's lips by his ear. "Shh, you're too loud." He whispered, sliding his tongue against Cloud's ear lobe. Cloud closed his eyes and gave himself up to Zack utterly, the hand slipped from his lips a little as Zack adjusted his balance and Cloud's hand snaked down to his clothed erection, squeezing gently and making Zack gasp in turn. He smirked and opened his eyes to meet Zack's intense gaze.

Vaguely they heard voices calling for Cloud but they ignored them, they were too wrapped up in each other. Too lost in pleasure to care much about Cloud's unit and what they wanted from him. Cloud continued to rub Zack through his trousers, enjoying the fact that he could make him moan as much as Zack could make him do the same. Zack kissed him again, tensing and Cloud felt the familiar twist in his gut. "G-Gunna...Z-Zack..." He gasped around Zack's fingers and trembled as he came into Zack's hand, it wasn't long before Zack pressed his forehead against Cloud's and bit down hard on his lower lip as he too reached completion.

They stayed still for a long moment before Zack shifted uncomfortably, a grin appeared on his face and he captured Cloud's lips with his own one last time. When he stepped away he looked uncomfortable. "I gotta go change and shower." He said, staring at Cloud with those beautiful blue eyes.

"Yeah...same here." Cloud replied, averting his gaze as he tucked himself back into his pants and did up his fly. Zack began moving away but paused, he looked back over his shoulder and smiled.

"Hey, Cloud?"

"Yeah?"

"When we get back to Midgar do you wanna go on a date?"

"Wh-what?!" Cloud went bright red.

"A date. You know; D.A.T.E. A thing where two people who like each other go and spend time alone together?"

"I _know_ what you meant, idiot." Cloud said, rolling his eyes before smiling a little shyly. "But...yeah, I will."

"One date. Cool, I'll let you know." Zack lifted a hand in farewell before striding off into the small square, Cloud sighed heavily and fell back against the wall, smiling to himself as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the rain for a while longer.

"A date..." He whispered and laughed softly to himself, covering his mouth with his hand. "I'm such an idiot." He said and shook his head before pushing himself away from the wall and returning to the Inn. He realised that he was falling for Zack, hard. It was a thrilling feeling and one that scared him a little but somehow he wasn't too afraid, he wanted this-whatever it was-to never end. Zack had promised, after all, he would never leave him.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Finally I got this chapter written! It's likely short and very fluffy, I'm generally not used to writing fluff so I hope its turned out ok. Please enjoy and, as always, review! Thank you.**

Chapter Nine: Secrets and One Date

"Kunsel! I need help!" Zack said and dragged his friend away from the people he had been talking to, he ignored his protests and pulled him into a nearby broom cupboard.

"Zack, what the hell? You know I don't swing that way."

"Shut up. I need help. Where's the best place to take someone on a date on the upper plates?" He asked.

"Ooh, so you've found someone you're serious about? Is it that Aerith girl? She was cute."

"Well...no...not exactly although I do owe her a date." He frowned and rubbed the back of his neck. "No. This is someone else. I need to impress them."

Kunsel watched Zack carefully before sighing. "It's that blond kid, isn't it? The one that tried to kill himself?"

"Yeah." Zack grinned.

"Be careful, Zack. I heard Heidegger's on a rampage for some reason, apparently AVALANCHE have been giving him serious problems and he's even coming down hard on the Turks."

"The Turks?! He's got to be insane to be messing with them!" Zack exclaimed, temporarily forgetting about his date with Cloud with this new information.

Kunsel closed the door of the cupboard, leaving them in darkness before whispering. "I've also heard rumours he's sent them to Junon...on the front lines."

Zack was stunned by this news. "They're gunna be massacred!" He breathed. "They're not cut out for the front, what's Heidegger thinking? The Turks are informants, everyone knows that! What's their boss doing?"

"Veld? He's gone. Heidegger replaced him."

"Shit." Zack shook his head in amazement. "Well, I wish Heidegger all the luck with that, I doubt the Turks'll take this lying down." He thought about Cissnei and shook his head. "Anyway, about that date?" He urged Kunsel who sighed.

"If you're determined to do it, then, I wish you the best of luck. But don't drag my name into it when Heidegger's arrested you for insubordination."

"On my Honour." Zack said seriously.

"Well, in that case, there's a really nice place to eat in Sector Five, i've heard all the executives go there. It was Genesis' favourite place too."

Zack grinned, slapping Kunsel on the shoulder. "Thanks man, I owe you."

"Just...don't let them see you're with an infantry soldier. Like I said you're likely to bump into Heidegger and even Scarlet up there."

Zack shivered. "Ugh...I hate Scarlet." He grimaced as he remembered the first time he had been introduced to her by Angeal, she hadn't kept her hands to herself throughout the entire interview. He felt violated just thinking about it.

XXX

"Cloud...hey? You all right?"

"Zack...I'm really not sure about this, I feel stupid."

Zack stared at the curtain that separated him from the dressing room, they were stood in a clothing shop on the upper plates and the tailor was fiddling idly with his tape measure. "You'll be fine, come on out."

"No."

"Cloud, come on! I promised you a date, right?"

"You did but I didn't expect this. I'm not coming out, nor am I going anywhere dressed like this. I look stupid."

"Come on, Cloud, it's the only way I could think of to avoid getting into trouble!" The curtain twitched and Zack smiled as Cloud finally stepped out, he was bright red and looked very upset. Zack's smile changed and his eyes widened. "Wow." He breathed. Cloud was clad in pale blue satin, the perfect match for his eyes. His wig was blond, like his original hair and cascaded down his shoulders in elaborate curls. He folded his arms across his chest and frowned at Zack.

"I look stupid." He insisted.

"You look amazing! Now, come here so I may add the finishing touches, my dear." The tailor said and pulled Cloud over to a full length mirror, Cloud kept shooting Zack glares as he was manhandled, false breasts stuffed down the bodice of his dress and a pair of pretty pearl earrings in his ears. Finally a matching necklace draped his throat and he was released. "Stunning!" The tailor announced, stepping back and bowing. "As pretty a princess as ever there was."

"Ugh." Cloud gazed at his reflection in disgust, his expression making Zack stifle a giggle behind his hand. They left the tailors, Cloud having difficulty walking in the high heels he was wearing. He clung onto Zack's arm as he was guided through the busy streets, it was evening and the rich of Midgar were out and about in abundance, some going to operas, some visiting restaurants and others going to movies and fancy dances. Cloud looked around curiously, temporarily forgetting that he was dressed as a woman.

"It's not far, come on." Zack tugged on his hand, their fingers entwining intimately. Cloud stumbled a little but managed to regain his balance again. The restaurant was as Zack had described, it was huge with an awning spread over the door. They entered a well lit room with electric chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, the crystal glittering enticingly.

They walked over to the maitre d', the man looked up and smiled at their approach. "Welcome, how may I be of service?"

"We booked a table for two." Zack said, fidgeting with his tie nervously.

"Name?"

"Er...Zack Fair?"

"I see, yes. Please, come this way." The man cast his eyes over Cloud, forcing him to blush and look down at his feet, he kept a firm grip on Zack's arm as they walked. They passed a large table hidden in the shadows and two laughs made Zack's steps falter.

"Kyahahaha!"

"Gyahahaha!"

"Oh fu-" Zack cleared his throat as the maitre d' turned to look at him, arching an eyebrow. "Er...I mean, who's table is that?"

"That table belongs to ShinRa's executives. Now, if you will follow me." He continued on, Zack and Cloud following behind. Their table was near to the executives, Zack tugged again at his tie, he hated them. They sat and were given menus. "Do you wish to see the wine list?"

"Um..."

"Yes, please." Cloud said in a low voice and smiled. He took the list and gazed at it for a moment. "What would you recommend?"

"The Canard-Duchene Brut, it is a most exquisite champagne."

"We'll have that then."

The man bowed and moved away. "As you wish."

Zack looked at Cloud curiously. "How did you know what to say?" He asked in a hushed whisper.

Cloud shrugged. "I've seen a lot of movies." He smirked and Zack laughed.

Their drinks arrived and then a little later the food, Cloud ate and drank more than he ever had before, it was good. Zack did most of the talking, his eyes lingering on Cloud as he laughed, seeming to forget what he was wearing. People glanced over at them curiously but no one commented. Finally the evening ended, Cloud finished his coffee and sighed, feeling a little tipsy and exceedingly happy. When Zack got the bill he blanched visibly. "Well, that's half my wages gone." He muttered heavily. "I can help-"

Zack smiled and shook his head. "No, you don't need to worry. This was my treat."

They paid but as they were leaving Cloud nearly bumped into a woman in a crimson dress, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" He muttered and backed off a little but the woman turned and he recognised her. He lowered his head, hiding his face and blushing furiously.

"Watch where you're going, girl!" Scarlet snapped irritably, she made to turn away but her eyes landed on Zack who was rummaging in his pockets for something. "Oh my! If it isn't Mr. Zack Fair!" Zack froze and slowly looked up, his eyes widened a moment before he forced a painful smile.

"Miss Scarlet, it's been a while." He said stiffly, moving to Cloud's side and putting a firm hand around his waist.

"Oh you're here on a date...how...adorable." Her eyes raked over Cloud as if she was trying to X-ray him. "Who is the lucky girl?"

"Er...Cl-Claudia." Zack said and winced as Cloud stood on his foot.

"What department do you work in girl?" Scarlet asked.

"I-I..."

"She doesn't work for ShinRa." Zack cut in.

"I see." Scarlet looked around, she seemed bored by the proceedings. "Well, my dear, it appears my ride is here. If you ever get bored of the innocence act then call me." She winked and grabbed Zack's arse, making him flush and stiffen.

Cloud looked the woman in the eyes, straightening his back as he moved to stand in front of Zack, shielding him from the woman's groping hands. "Oh I intend to ensure he doesn't get bored." He said irritably. Scarlet smirked deviously.

"Trust me, little girl, the innocent act gets boring very quickly." Cloud smirked at her.

"Oh, you think I'm innocent?" He asked sweetly. Scarlet gazed at him a moment before sneering and walking away without saying another word. "Bitch." Cloud hissed and felt Zack's hand slide around his waist, he was tugged to his side and he felt hot breath against his neck.

"Were you jealous?"

"A-A little...maybe...Zack, not in public!" He pushed against Zack who laughed and released him.

"Don't worry, she's like that with everyone. Even Sephiroth has difficulty in avoiding her hands." Zack laughed at Cloud's surprise before guiding him gently out the door, he paused as they waited for the road to clear so that they could cross.

"Fair!" Zack turned and cursed inwardly, he straightened and performed a sharp salute as Heidegger appeared from the restaurant. "Sir!"

"At ease, at ease." Heidegger said, grinning broadly and patting his extensive stomach. "So, you're on a date, huh? My," He exclaimed, eyeing Cloud like he was a piece of meat. "What a cutie!"

"Uh...yeah...sir, I'm sorry, I have to er...get Claudia back home."

Heidgger didn't seem to hear him. "My name is Heidgger, head of Public Safety." He held out his hand and Cloud reluctantly shook it.

"C-Claudia..." He replied weakly.

"Where did you find this beautiful creature?" Hedigger asked Zack whose hands were clenched into fists at his sides.

"She works in a-a tailors...sir..." He said.

"She must have very talented hands." Heidegger gazed at Cloud hungrily, those beady eyes making his skin crawl.

"Er...sir, we really should be-" Heidgger lifted a hand to silence Zack and got an angry glare which he missed as he once again took Cloud's hand and brought it to his fat lips. Cloud swallowed the urge to yank his hand free and kick him in his fat gut. "You are a flower in this city of metal, if you ever wish to I would always welcome the company of such a beautiful maiden."

 _Maiden?_ Zack would have laughed if jealousy hadn't been paramount. "Sir, really, your limo's waiting." Heidegger blinked and looked over to the limo where Scarlet was waiting impatiently.

"Ah yes, such a shame. I am sure we will meet again, beautiful flower." He walked away, leaving Cloud feeling like he needed a shower.

"Ugh...yuck...I fee violated!" Cloud hissed the second Heidgger was out of ear shot.

"Well, at least neither of them recognised you." Zack smirked and put his arm around Cloud's shoulder. "Come on, let's go home."

XXX

"Um...Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"When you said 'home', I didn't think you meant...this." Cloud stared through the open elevator doors at the SOLDIER floor. Zack, who had been leaning against the glass wall and looking at his PHS, looked up and smiled.

"You didn't think I was going to drop you off at the barracks looking like that, did you?" He asked, smiling and pulling Cloud to his side. "They'd eat you alive. You're gorgeous." Cloud's face flushed brilliantly and he extracted himself from Zack with difficulty.

"I look like an idiot!" He said angrily. "If anyone sees me..."

"They won't recognise you, trust me. Come on." He took Cloud's hand in his own and pulled him into the corridor, they passed through the lounge where several men were standing around talking, they looked up as Zack passed, one of them opening their mouths and staring at Cloud.

"Woah, Zack always gets the hottest Chicks!"

"How does he do it, man?"

"I'm so unlucky."

Zack smirked to himself as he waved at them, making them all glare at him as he strode confidently past. Cloud kept his head low, eyes averted as he allowed himself to be dragged down the corridor. He watched his feet so intently he didn't even notice Zack come to an abrupt halt. He walked straight into his back. "Ow, Zack, watch it-" His voice faltered as he looked up to find Sephiroth staring at him, he swallowed and looked away. He yanked his hand free of Zack's and used his arms to wrap around himself in a protective gesture.

"Zack?" Sephiroth blinked at Cloud. "Why is there an infantryman wearing women's clothes on our floor?"

"Er...well...you see...it's um...kinda...I..." Zack stuttered himself into silence and finally shrugged. "I had no choice, if someone were to find out..." He left the sentence hanging and Sephiroth nodded in understanding.

"I see. Well, do enjoy your night...even if it is a little strange." He smirked down at Cloud who was so red they could almost feel the heat coming off of him.

"I knew this was stupid." Cloud muttered as Sephiroth passed him, he looked back over his shoulder and met his eyes momentarily, he blushed again and hung his head. "He knew! He knew who I was! This is humiliating! Zack...please, just kill me now!"

Zack laughed and brought Cloud close, pulling their chests together as he stroked a hand through Cloud's hair. "He doesn't mind, he used to be friends with Genesis after all."

"What does that mean?"

Zack's smirk widened as he leaned down and kissed Cloud. "Whatever you want it to mean." He said mysteriously and moved away. "Come on, let's get back to mine." he tugged gently on Cloud's hand and began making his way back to his apartment. When they entered the apartment Cloud slipped off his high heels with a heavy sigh of relief, he leaned against Zack and buried his head in his broad chest.

"Never, ever make me do anything like that again...it was terrifying and embarrassing."

"Aw, but you look so cute." Zack said as he used a hand beneath Cloud's chin to lift his head up, their eyes met and he leaned down, capturing Cloud's lips with his own.

"I look like a girl." Cloud said uncertainly as Zack pulled away. "I'm not a girl, Zack."

"I know that."

"Then why do you seem to like seeing me in a dress so much?" Cloud replied with a soft frown.

"Because...it's different and it suits you." Zack replied, easing himself out of Cloud's clutches and moving to the living room. "Cloud?"

"What?" Cloud mumbled, he could feel Zack's eyes on him and felt suddenly awkward as he stood at the door, unsure what to do.

"Come here." Zack held out a hand and Cloud went. He stood above Zack who was now seated on the sofa, his hands rose and rested on Cloud's hips as he looked up. "You're amazing, you know that, right?"

"I...Not really." Zack laughed softly and slowly slid a hand up beneath Cloud's skirt.

"Doesn't matter...maybe if I show you how amazing you are?" He breathed as he watched Cloud's face colour again, but for an entirely different reason. Gently Zack took hold of Cloud's shoulders and pushed him to his knees, he smiled as Cloud's eyes widened as he realised what he wanted. Slowly, with hands that shook slightly, Cloud unzipped Zack's fly.

"I've...er...never done this before." Cloud muttered, feeling Zack's hand in his hair.

"It's ok." Zack smiled. Cloud nodded and took a breath before staring at Zack's cock for a moment. He leaned forward and ran his tongue over the tip, listening to Zack hiss air through his teeth. There was a strange buzzing noise, Zack tried to ignore it but it became ever more insistent. Finally he swore loudly and reached into his pocket, withdrawing his phone. "Shit!" He swore as he stared at the message written there. "I have to go." Cloud sat back on his haunches and stared as Zack stood up and ran for his bedroom.

"But...but it's so late, why are you getting a call now?" He called.

"AVALANCHE!" He hissed as he reappeared in the living room, stuffing himself into his first class uniform. "I'm sorry Cloud...I'm really sorry but I can't ignore this."

"No. I know. Go, I'll be here when you get back." Cloud stood up and smiled as Zack gazed at him, suddenly Zack stepped forward and dragged him into a tight embrace, their lips met in a languid kiss. Cloud gripped Zack's hair tightly until he drew away with a sigh, their noses touched and finally Zack stepped back. "Go be a hero." Cloud breathed and Zack laughed brightly as he grabbed his sword from where it leant against the wall and left Cloud alone. Cloud stared at the door for a long moment and, just as he turned to go to bed the door opened and he felt himself lifted bodily off the floor. He gasped and struggled but Zack turned him around and pushed him roughly into the wall, the kiss drove the breath from him and he moaned into Zack's eager mouth before once again he pulled away. He was panting a little and his eyes sparkled. "You better be here when I return."

"Of course." Cloud replied and was put back on the ground.

"Yeah...I really have to go now, I'm late." Zack ran for the door and Cloud watched it close behind him, a smile stretched his lips and he laughed softly to himself.

XXX

Zack returned to find Cloud wearing one of his shirts, he was curled up in a ball, hugging a pillow and snoring lightly. The covers had been kicked away so they were wrinkled at the bottom of the bed. The sight made Zack smile, despite his aching body and his small wounds, he set aside the buster sword and collapsed beside Cloud, unable to keep his eyes open any longer. He wrapped both arms around Cloud's small form and dragged him close, gently he pressed a kiss to the back of Cloud's neck and relaxed. "You smell of blood." Cloud mumbled, keeping his eyes firmly shut as he tightened his grip of Zack's hands at his belly.

"Yeah...sorry...I can shower..."

"Nah. Don't worry. Go to sleep."

"Mm." As Zack drifted into sleep he wondered at Cloud's statement, there was no fear in his voice, only mild concern. Perhaps being with someone who understood the rigours of war was good for him, he had put up with far too many complaints about his violent nature. Even Aerith hadn't liked it, but Cloud accepted it, he understood and that was perfect. "Hey...Cloud?"

"What?"

"Maybe i'm not quite as tired as I first thought." Zack whispered, trailing a hand down Cloud's stomach and finding his cock. Cloud stiffened against him, a tiny noise escaping his lips as Zack grinned into his neck. "Do you wanna continue where we left off?"

"I think that'd be ok." Cloud replied breathlessly, eyes closed firmly as Zack moved his hand over his rapidly hardening erection.

XXX

"Good morning!"

Cloud groaned and rolled away from that irritatingly happy voice, he frowned, keeping his eyes tightly shut as a cool hand slid over his chest beneath the over-large shirt he was wearing. "Go'way...Too early..." He mumbled and only got a soft chuckle.

"It's ten am, time to wake up, sleepy head."

"It is?" Cloud opened his eyes and turned them to Zack who was beaming down at him, his hair was damp and flat on his head, framing his handsome face. He was shirtless and Cloud smiled as he reached up and ran the flat of his palm over his hard chest. "Mornin'." He muttered sleepily and yawned before stretching both arms above his head.

"I got coffee if you want some." Zack said and pressed a light kiss to Cloud's forehead.

"Sounds good, I'll be out in a minute." Zack drew away, still grinning from ear to ear as he left Cloud to wake up properly. For a moment or two Cloud remained in the bed, staring up at the ceiling as he thought on his strange luck. Waking up in the bed of another man was strange but also very pleasant, he smiled to himself and felt heat in his cheeks. He only hoped that they could keep their relationship a secret from the head of their department, if someone were to find out they would be in a world of trouble. Slowly he climbed out of bed and made his way into the living room where the scent of fresh coffee permeated the air, his smile grew as he spotted Zack on the sofa, frowning down at his PHS.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: In this you may note that I am using characters from Before Crisis, although this chapter isn't exactly canon I just needed a bad guy and Fuhito suited my purposes. Enjoy and please review, they make me happy! :)**

Chapter Ten: Chocobo

Lightning tore the sky asunder, rain lashed down from the dark, brooding clouds and thunder rumbled. The bedraggled soldiers trudged through the growing mire, boots squelching, heads down and uniforms soaked. Cloud shivered violently and chanced a glance upwards, he blinked, squinting through the rain to catch a very brief glimpse of the moon before it was swallowed by cloud once again. Someone beside him fell with a yelp drowned out by another low rumble, Cloud reached down automatically and dragged him to his feet again. They moved on.

Cloud's fingers felt slippery against the handle of his rifle, he watched his feet slide on the mud slick ground. They were all freezing cold and none of them had the energy to speak. They were surrounded by trees, their leaves blowing violently in the wind. Another crack of lightning illuminated the surrounding area and Cloud spotted several small animals attempting to flee the scene as the unit struggled onward. They were close to camp, they had to be. Everyone was cold, wet and hungry. The lure of a warm tent and large cook fires drew them on like moths to a flame. Finally there was a shout, the words were masked by the sound of rapid gun fire. Cloud's heart stopped in his chest and he heard several screams, he glanced side ways at Johnny who's eyes were wide in his pale face.

"GET DOWN!" Zack's warning was almost lost in another rumble, Cloud lurched forward before feeling something press against his back. He was thrown into the mud face first just as the world exploded. He lost his gun somewhere during the struggle, a firm hand remained pressed to the back of his head and unknowingly suffocated him. When the rumbles and shaking faded, Cloud was released and he jerked upward, eyes wide and blinking rapidly to clear the mud. He struggled to his knees, wiping at his face with one sopping sleeve as he took in the devastation. The forest burned. Red and yellow flames danced around him, smoke choked the air and ash fell to settle upon his cheeks. He could feel the heat and the smoke burned his lungs as he took deep gasps of air. He turned to see Johnny gaping mindlessly at the front of their line, Cloud followed his stunned gaze to see several dirty men wearing make-shift fatigues, standing over them and pointing their guns. Cloud blinked in dumb confusion as he found himself staring down the barrel of a gun.

"Get up!" Cloud blinked again, unsure if he had heard right. "Get up, I said!"

Johnny tugged urgently at his arm and although he tried to shake him off he was dragged firmly to his feet. "Do as he says, Cloud...this isn't the time for heroics." He hissed, eyeing the man warily. Cloud, still dazed by the confusion of the explosion, climbed unsteadily to his feet. "Put your hands behind your head." The man demanded and Cloud did as he was asked as his fellow unit mates were dragged and bullied over so that they all stood in a line, facing their captors. The rain still lashed at their exposed faces, the forest burned around them as the enemy soldiers stood guard over them.

"Is this all of the infantry?"

"Yes sir." A man who looked less like a soldier and more like a scientist stood beside his men, they wore similar uniforms.

"Execute them." He ordered.

"But...they're just kids."

"Kids who have pledged themselves to ShinRa!"

"Yeah-"

"Do as I say or Elfe will hear about this!" The men gazed at the bedraggled, confused infantrymen before slowly raising their guns. There was a loud bang and Cloud's eyes widened as he felt hot blood spray his cheek. His fellow unit members shuffled away as one of their own fell into the mud. Cloud gazed down at him in open mouthed shock. He watched, half fascinated, half revolted as blood ran from his head into the muddy water. Another loud shot and another fell. Cloud's breath caught and he turned his gaze to Johnny who looked just as surprised and sickened.

"W-What are you doing?! We've surrendered! We're your prisoners!" He shouted suddenly, looking to the man who appeared to be their leader.

"Shut up, ShinRa scum!" The man shouted. "Kill him next!" He ordered his men who grabbed Cloud and yanked him roughly forward, he was thrown to his knees before the leader and felt the press of cold metal against the back of his head.

"C-Cloud! Cloud no!" Johnny's scream rent the air and there was thud as someone hit him, he fell to his knees with a splash. Cloud' heart hammered in his chest, his mind was utterly blank, his body numb. He was weaponless and too tired to fight back as metal dug into his skull. The leader of the rebels stood before him, smirking as he gazed down into Cloud's eyes smugly. The rain was cool on his heated face as time seemed to slow down, he moved his eyes to the sky and let it hit his cheeks before closing them. If this was to be his last moments he only wished he could see Zack one last time. There was a click and Cloud held his breath.

"I wouldn't pull that trigger if I were you."

Cloud's eyes snapped open at the sound of that voice, his heart resumed its pace and he turned to look behind him. He saw the flames run along the edge of the Buster Sword as it was pressed firmly against the throat of the man who had been about to shoot Cloud. Zack's hand gripped the hilt and the fire danced in his glowing eyes, they were narrowed in fury. Soot stained his face, in places he had scratches and his hair was in disarray. Cloud felt his breath hitch in the tense silence as the man under threat slowly lowered his gun, eyes on the tip of the Buster sword as it dug into his throat. "That's better. Now, step away." Zack warned and the man did as he was told. Cloud climbed unsteadily to his feet and had to stumble into a nearby tree to hold himself steady. "Right, now, who wants some, huh?! I'm in the mood for a proper fight seeing as your other guys never gave me a damned chance before bombing the place!"

The man in the glasses, the one who appeared to be the leader of the group, edged towards Cloud. Cloud saw him draw a knife and lift it, as the blade swung towards his chest, he caught the handle and twisted the man's wrist. He cried out and was forced to let go. Cloud kicked the man's legs from under him but before he could do anything further he stumbled in a particularly sticky patch of mud. By the time he had unstuck himself the man in glasses had gone. Zack watched the rest of the enemies retreat, frowning a little as the Buster Sword's tip rested against the ground.

"S-Sir...why aren't you going after them?"

Zack blinked and turned to Johnny who was shaking from cold, fatigue and the after effects of terror. "Oh, Sephiroth's that way." He said and jerked his thumb in the direction the men had fled. "I wouldn't wanna be in their shoes tonight, Sephiroth hates the rain and cold. He's sure to take it out on them."

"Oh...yeah..."Johnny looked away and his eyes landed on the fallen men, he knelt in the mud and closed the eyes of the nearest one.

"W-we s-should do something..." Cloud said through teeth that chattered violently, his near death experience was wearing on him and that, combined with the cold made him shiver uncontrollably. Zack saw him standing ankle deep in mud, hair plastered to his face which was barely visible through a layer of filth. His eyes huge with too much white showing and shivering like a child. He walked over and returned the sword to his back as he reached out and made as if to put his arms around him, Cloud shied away and frowned down at his feet.

Zack flushed and glanced back at the rest of the Infantry unit before rubbing the back of his neck and sighing. "Sorry."

"D-Don't...w-worry...Let's g-get b-b-back to base camp." Cloud replied, wrapping both arms around himself in a lame attempt to keep warm.

"All right guys, we're going back to camp! Move out!" Zack called to the others but Johnny paused.

"Sir, what are we gunna do with them?" He asked, indicating the dead with his hand.

Zack shook his head slowly. "We can't afford to be dragged down by them...It sounds harsh but the forest is burning around us, we need to get out fast. Enemies could be anywhere in this smoke and we just don't have the time or resources to return them to their families."

Cloud watched Johnny staring sadly at the man he still knelt beside, he moved closer, boots squelching and bent to put a hand on his arm. "Hey, come on. We gotta go."

"H-he...he was my friend."

"I know." Cloud squeezed his shoulder gently and tugged on his clothes to get him to stand. "We can't stay here, we could be attacked again at any moment and I lost my gun." Johnny nodded numbly before climbing heavily to his feet and turning away from his friend. Zack watched him, eyes glued to Cloud as they walked past him. He wanted nothing more than to go to Cloud, to wrap him up in his arms and hold him until his shivering stopped but he knew he couldn't. Cloud looked back at him briefly before turning away again, one arm around Johnny's shoulders as they walked. The rest of the Unit followed at their own sedate, limping pace.

XXX

"Did you get him?" Zack asked the second Sephiroth walked back into camp, his hair was sopping and clinging to his skin, it had only just stopped raining. His eyes were glowing fiercely and his sword dripped blood.

"No. Fuhito escaped into the forest whilst I was dispatching his comrades." He said stiffly, eyes moving around the camp as he seemed to search for something. Zack was sat by a fire, the rain had stopped and the battle fresh troops were hanging around the large fires scattered throughout their camp. They looked weary and drained. "What happened?"

"We were attacked." Zack said slowly, pushing wet hair from his eyes as he returned his gaze to the fire. "They hit us up front with an explosive before sending a group round back to attack, they got several of our troopers but I got there before they could get-" He paused and shook his head. "More." He finished but Sephiroth was certain that was not what he was about to say.

"What about Cloud?" Sephiroth asked softly, moving closer to the fire so that it illuminated his skin, warming him pleasantly.

"Oh...yeah...he's alive." Zack replied stiffly, Sephiroth waited for him to continue. "But it was close." He sighed and covered his face with his hands. "I thought I was gunna see them shoot his brains out...if I hadn't got there when I did..."

"He is aware of the risks he takes in his job, Zack. You cannot be there for him every second of every day."

"I know that! I just...I just want him to be safe."

"If I wanted to be safe i'd've stayed at home, Zack." Zack's head jerked up to see Cloud hovering on the edge of the firelight, his face looked gaunt but most of the mud was gone.

"Cloud!"

"I'm fine." Cloud insisted, his eyes moving to Sephiroth before he looked away again. "I just wanted to say thanks...for...for saving my ass back there."

"It's nothing, trust me. Hey, come and share our fire..."

"No." Cloud shook his head and glanced back towards his unit. "I gotta go." He drifted away again, Zack watched him go until he was out of sight before sighing heavily. Sephiroth moved to sit beside Zack, he began wiping his blade on the grass almost absently. Zack noticed he had crimson spattering his face and chest and almost shuddered, Sephiroth's strength was legendary and to see him covered in blood was intimidating.

"He is not weak." Sephiroth said suddenly, startling Zack from his reverie. "Cloud...he has strength, he simply isn't aware of it."

"I know that."

"Do you? You seem intent on protecting him when your duty should be to the company."

"Trust me, I know where my loyalty lies." Zack replied in an unusually moody voice as he picked up a stick and poked at the fire.

"Hm. I wonder." Sephiroth replied, looking up at the stars spread out above them. Zack glared at him and hunched his shoulders, he said nothing though as he poked at the fire and watched it spit.

XXX

Cloud sat hunched up against a rock, his thin blankets wrapped tightly around his shoulders as he ate some of the hot stew that were their rations for the evening. Johnny sat at his side, picking morosely at his own food, his eyes glazed in memory, likely he was re-living his friends death. Cloud said nothing, he was useless when it came to giving comfort. The silence was broken only by the soft mutterings of the men around them and the occasional laugh.

"Wark!"

Cloud looked up at the sudden noise, he climbed to his feet and looked up at the sheer rock he had been leaning against. "What is it?" Johnny asked softly.

"I don't-"

"Wark!"

"Huh, a chocobo..." Johnny said, following Cloud's gaze up to a steep ledge where a small golden bird sat huddled against the stone.

"It's stuck and it's only a baby." Cloud shed his blankets and stepped up to the cliff.

"You're not going to rescue it, are you?" Johnny asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, I am."

"But...if you fall you'd break your neck!"

"No, I won't." Cloud didn't bother offering any further explanation as his fingers found some handholds and he hefted himself up.

"Cloud! Come on, man, you're nuts!"

"Whatever." Cloud mumbled, frowning a little as he dug the tips of his boots into the stone. He climbed easily, as if he was born to do it and Johnny watched him get higher and higher in frank wonder.

"What are you? Part spider?" Cloud ignored him, too intent on finding hand and foot holds. He could feel that some of the stone beneath him was weakened by weathering, it was a dangerous climb but he had to rescue the baby bird. It warked and cheeped at him, watching him intently as he drew closer to its little ledge. Finally, with a grunt he pulled himself onto the ledge. The chocobo blinked its beady black eyes at him and cocked its head to the side curiously. Cloud drew closer, one gloved hand outstretched. "Come on, I'm gunna get you down from here little guy."

"Wark." It said and flapped its tiny wings. Zack heard the commotion as he was returning to his tent, he frowned and glanced at Sephiroth who shrugged. Together they went to the source of the noise and laughter, they found a group of infantry standing around the bottom of the cliff and looking up. Zack followed their gazes and saw Cloud sitting cross legged on a ledge with a baby chocobo in his arms.

"Wha-Hey, Cloud! What the hell are you doing?" Cloud's bright eyes found him in the dim light and a small smile flickered across his lips.

"It was stuck and I think its leg's broken."

"Be careful, that doesn't look safe!" Zack called back.

Cloud snorted. "I spent my childhood climbing cliffs a lot more dangerous than this, remember Zack I'm a mountain boy." He really did smirk then, seeming to be in his element among the jagged rocks and height. "I'm bringing it down now." He muttered, turning his attention to the chick which made a soft Kweh noise as he unzipped his top and stuffed it inside, against the warmth of his body. Zack bit his lip and held his breath as Cloud began to to descend, despite his fear he was impressed by how easy Cloud made it look. Finally he reached solid ground again, Zack converged on him along with several others, he watched as Cloud patted the tiny birds head as it snuggled against his chest. "It'll be all right." He cooed softly to it as he gently extracted it from his clothes, it made a small sound of impatience and wriggled in his grip but finally subsided with a defeated Kweh that sounded more akin to a sigh. Zack saw that one of its legs was indeed broken.

"Cloud, it won't survive with its leg like that." Johnny said carefully, watching his friend to ensure he wasn't going to be upset by this truth.

"Maybe...maybe it's stronger than you think it is." Cloud replied softly. "I'm gunna give it a chance." He strode off, people moving out his way as he went before breaking out into soft giggles.

"His hair looks like the ass of a chocobo, don't it?"

"Reckon that chick thinks he's its mother!"

Zack tried to avoid grinning at the mental image and forced his face into a stern expression. "Don't you have patrol?" He demanded and the two who were talking looked surprised.

"Sir, yes sir!" They said in unison and scurried away.

There was a low chuckle and Zack turned to see Sephiroth cover his mouth with one hand as he fought with his expression. "Sephiroth! That's harsh!"

"Indeed...but it's also rather true." He stifled another round of giggles. "It appears that he has a softer heart than one would imagine."

"Yeah, he kinda does." Zack said with a smile. "He's adorable."

"I assume you're talking of the chocobo..." Sephiroth's lips twitched in amusement. "I'm going to ensure the perimeter remains secure." He said finally and turned away, his continued snorts and chuckles following him.

Zack found Cloud sat by one of the fires, the chocobo chick was in his lap and he was tying bandages tightly around its broken leg. "It might be kinder to put it out of its misery." Zack said as he sat down beside his friend. Cloud frowned by said nothing as he finally finished his work. "It won't survive in the wild with its leg like that."

"How do you know?" Cloud said suddenly, giving him an angry glare.

"Well, where's its mother? It's too young to find food on its own."

"I...I just-" He sighed and stroked the birds head gently. "I can't leave it to die."

Zack sighed and wrapped his arms around his knees. "You can't take it back with you either."

"No. I know that."

Zack hated the sadness in Cloud's voice but he couldn't do anything assuage it. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Cloud replied.

"There is a farm that breeds chocobo's nearby, if we take it there I'm sure the owners will care for it." Both men looked up at Sephiroth's dark figure as he appeared from the shadows, the firelight flashed off of his sword and lit up his eyes.

"Yeah, that's true!" Zack said remembering the farm. "We can make a quick detour, it's not too far out of our way."

"R-really?!" Cloud's eyes lit up with hope.

"Although it still may not live." Sephiroth said slowly.

"No but...it'll have a chance." Cloud replied, stroking the bird's head again and smiling down at it.

"You two had best get some rest, we move out early tomorrow." Sephiroth strode away, glancing back once and his eyes lingering on Cloud who was too intent on his little charge to notice.

XXX

The farmer was more than happy to obtain a new chocobo chick, he assured Cloud that he would take good care of it. They moved on again, heading towards their meeting point where the transport would return them to Midgar. Cloud's stomach churned as their truck bounced over the uneven ground, he bent double and clutched it as he tried desperately not to throw up. "Hey, you all right?" Cloud looked up at Zack and nodded, not trusting his voice. "I heard that these might help." Zack held out his hand where several tranquillisers sat. Cloud took one and nodded his head in thanks. It did help, his stomach eased and he was finally able to relax, he leaned against the side of the truck and sighed heavily. He couldn't wait to return to Midgar, to the barracks where he could get a decent shower and hopefully some well needed rest. "Hey, I didn't know you could climb so well, that was pretty impressive."

Cloud smiled weakly, he still looked pale and clammy but he was obviously better than he was. "I used to do it all the time back home, Mother would be so angry with me. I always used to run off when she was lecturing me and go climb in the mountains, it was easier than sitting at home and watching her cry." His eyes misted over a moment and he frowned. "Tifa's Dad and Zangen found me a few times, I always got yelled at."

"Well, I suppose it was dangerous, right?"

Cloud nodded. "Yeah, there's the Nibel Wolves, Bears and even dragons up there among other monsters. It's pretty dangerous but I knew what to look out for and I only got attacked once."

"What attacked you?" Zack asked in amazement, he was getting more out of Cloud about his life in Nibelheim than he had ever hoped.

"A pack of wolves, luckily I managed to escape and ran for my life...The men of the village managed to kill them before they go into town."

"You must be fast, I heard those wolves are pretty hard to outrun."

"Oh yeah, I can be fast when I need to be...I mean, anyone would with a pack of hungry wolves after them." He smiled and chuckled as he slipped sideways against Zack's arm. "Then there's the Mako pools further in the mountains, I used to go there and watch them."

"Huh. I've never heard you talk so much." Zack replied, enjoying the weight of Cloud's head on his shoulder.

"I guess the tranquillisers affecting me..." He mumbled. He remembered the promise he had made to Tifa and felt the usual swell of guilt, he had sworn to get stronger to protect her and he was failing her. He sighed heavily and felt his eyes drift close as he slipped into sleep. "Tifa..." He muttered and Zack stiffened at the softness of his voice.

"A girl?" He muttered to himself, staring down at Cloud and feeling a little jealous. Cloud's head slipped into Zack's lap and he shifted into a more comfortable position, allowing Cloud to sleep without disturbance. Gently, without thinking, he ran fingers through Cloud's soft but tangled hair. He wondered who Tifa was, why she seemed so important to Cloud and if he ever liked her in a romantic sense or simply platonic. He was sure he was being stupid, Cloud didn't seem to be much of a player and he doubted he had another relationship on the side of theirs. Still, it was a little disconcerting. He felt eyes on him and looked up to see Cloud's friend Johnny watching him, eyes narrowed as he noted the tender way in which Zack stroked Cloud's hair. He stopped and looked away, fighting off the urge to flush.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: Well, another chapter. :) It's got a shitty title but I couldn't think of one for this chapter, I'm sorry. This one is mostly just flirting between Zack and Cloud and Sephiroth just kind of being a creepy stalker and obsessing about his hair. (I love that he uses Vanilla shampoo...its so amusing) So yeah, please enjoy and it would be awesome to know what you think of it so far. Is it too slow? Or maybe I'm going too quickly? Or...I dunno, maybe its very boring. Just let me know! Thank you for reading. (Oh and for my IRL friend who is also reading this; AHAHAHAHAHA! I'm such a bitch! :D )**

Chapter Eleven: Broken Showers

Cloud stood in the barracks showers, hot water cascading down his body and soothing his aching muscles. He had just come from a rather intense bout of training with Zack who had apparently taken it into his own head to train him personally. They had been using one of the training rooms on floor 49. Cloud was very glad to be able to access the rooms normally reserved for SOLDIER operatives. Zack, despite his relaxed attitude, was a hard teacher. Cloud ached just remembering the repeated battering he got from him, it was exhilarating and frustrating all at once. The training sessions had the added bonus of ending in long, desperate kisses. They barely had the restraint to stop themselves from ripping each others clothes off and going at it in the middle of the room. However, they were careful, neither of them wanted to be caught and so those kisses usually ended in more frustration and, for Cloud at least, a long, private shower with his imagination and right hand. He tipped his head back, eyes closed and simply allowed the water to flow over him. He remembered the feel of Zack's hard chest against his palms, the way his tongue played with his own. He sighed softly and smiled to himself. He was still a little unsure where things were going between them or whether it was a good idea in the first place but he had to admit that he liked whatever it was they had. His hand trailed down his belly, his ears pricked for any hint of sound but he heard nothing as he slid his hand further down until his fingers brushed his cock. He took a breath and braced himself against the shower wall with his free hand while his other began stroking himself to hardness.

Cloud was so lost in his imagination that he didn't hear the door open, nor the heavy footsteps that followed. It wasn't until someone cleared their throats that he froze. His eyes opened wide as he felt an intimidating presence behind him. He knew, despite the fact that he couldn't see him, that Sephiroth was inexplicably in the barracks shower room. He released himself but didn't turn, too terrified of what he was going to see in those strange green eyes. "I...apologise, I didn't think the rooms were in use." Sephiroth muttered awkwardly. Cloud could only smack his head into the tiled wall in response, hoping that the general would leave him alone again so he could die in solitude. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled, he could feel Sephiroth's gaze like a physical weight. He wasn't entirely certain but it felt as if he was running those eyes all over Cloud's body, admiring it, perhaps. "The showers on the SOLDIER floor are currently broken, I cannot get an engineer in until tomorrow so I am forced to use these...I...I will leave you in peace now and try again later."

Cloud groaned heavily and wished himself into a black hole, anything would be better than being caught wanking by his superior officer. Humiliation wasn't even a strong enough word. What was worse was that his erection hadn't softened, if anything the urge to continue was stronger than ever with those eyes on him. Sephiroth was watching. Standing behind him and watching him like a predator. It was embarrassing and oddly exciting. Cloud clenched his hands into fists and waited, finally, after an agonising moment Sephiroth left.

XXX

Sephiroth stood outside the infantry showers and took a slow breath. He had not intended to witness such a thing but he recalled the scene with perfect clarity. It sent strange, slightly unfamiliar feelings through him, he had never felt such intense desire for another person before. The urge to join Cloud in his shower had been almost overpowering but Sephiroth was known for his iron control and so he had forced himself to leave. He leaned against the wall and shook his head, trying to stop his thoughts from wondering back to the tense muscles of Cloud's slim shoulders. A sound disrupted his train of thought and he pushed himself into a more upright position. Zack appeared around the corner, topless and wearing a pair of light weight trousers with a towel flung over his shoulder. He was immersed in his PHS but stopped when he spotted Sephiroth and looked at him questioningly.

"What's wrong? Are these showers down too?"

"No." Sephiroth said stiffly.

"Then why are you out here?"

"They are...occupied."

"All of them? But its late..."

"Cloud is in there."

Zack's face lit up as he looked at the door before he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Sephiroth. "Why would that stop you from using the showers? From what I remember there's loads of them in there."

"He was...busy when I entered. I believe it would be awkward for me to return until he has finished."

Zack took a moment to realise what Sephiroth was hinting at before his tongue darted out to wet his lips. "Well...I'm going in." He said and pushed past Sephiroth and opened the door. "You'll just have to wait out here a little longer." He smirked and disappeared. Zack tried to keep his footsteps quiet, he moved towards the sound of running water and picked up on a soft curse. He paused before a grin spread across his face and he crept closer, he peered around a corner and saw Cloud leaning against the wall, eyes closed tightly and a small frown on his face. Zack's eyes slid down his body and he saw what his hand was doing, a small breath escaped him and he dropped his towel and kicked off his shoes. Without further ado he walked straight over to Cloud and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Cloud gasped and his eyes shot open, he looked up through eyes clouded by desire and when he realised it was Zack a grin spread across his face.

"Thank gods its you." He said quietly and wrapped his arms around Zack's neck. "I thought it was Sephiroth again." Zack laughed as he pulled Cloud close and kissed his wet hair.

"Bet that was embarrassing."

"Just a bit." Cloud admitted. He noticed Zack was still clothed from the waist down. "You're wet." He said and Zack laughed, he pulled Cloud into his arms and kissed him deeply, Cloud's arms lifted up and wrapped themselves around his neck. Butterflies flapped in his stomach, causing his heart to race as Zack's bare hands slid over his body. He smiled into the kiss and when Zack drew away he groaned in disappointment.

"Slow down there, Mr. Eager. You don't want me to lose my self control do you?"

"Maybe I do." Cloud said, an unusually bold statement from him that was slightly ruined when he blushed as he realised what he had said. He lowered his head, hiding his face from Zack who put a hand beneath his chin and forced him to look up. Zack chuckled lightly and kissed Cloud gently.

"If I was to lose total control I'd hurt you." He said quietly. "You're not enhanced, I could seriously do some damage without meaning to."

Cloud nodded vigorously, causing a damp lock of hair to fall into his eyes. "Sorry." He muttered.

"Stop apologising." Zack sighed and moved to where Cloud had put his Shampoo and soap, he picked the soap up and forced Cloud to turn around with a hand on his shoulder. "Let me help you wash." He said, burying his nose temporarily in Cloud's hair and closing his eyes briefly.

"Z-Zack?"

"Hm?"

"Um...I'm kinda...in a situation here..." Cloud muttered, hanging his head so his forehead was pressed against the tiles.

"Yeah, I'll help you with that too." Zack whispered into his ear and felt Cloud shiver in anticipation. He lathered the soap in his hands and began to run them slowly over Cloud's body, he smirked to himself as he shuddered and moaned. "Shh, Sephiroth's outside waiting for us to finish." Zack whispered, causing Cloud's eyes to open half way.

"S-Sephiroth?"

"Yeah. Don't worry, he's waiting by the door, he can't see us."

Cloud closed his eyes again, unwilling to admit that before Zack had walked in he had been about to cum while thinking of the silver general. "Zack?"

"Yeah?"

Cloud gasped a little as Zack's hands slid over his belly, he tipped his head back so he was leaning against Zack's chest. "What exactly...are we?" He whispered, his breath hitching as Zack closed a soapy fist over his erection.

"What do you mean?" Zack asked, kissing Cloud's throat and forcing another soft moan from his lips.

"I mean...what...are we to each other...? Friends...lovers?"

"I dunno, never thought about it." Cloud pushed his hips forward, one hand moving to clasp Zack's wrist. "Why? Does it matter?"

"N-no...oh god...!" Cloud gasped and tensed, his hand tightening on Zack's wrist and his teeth digging into his bottom lip.

XXX Sephiroth shifted uneasily from one foot to another, they had been in there an inordinate amount of time. He sighed heavily and picked up his shower bag, it was plain black and continued everything he would need for a shower; hair products (including shampoo and conditioner), hair brush (he despised tangles, it was one thing he truly hated about being in the field; the lack of time to brush his hair), a towel of the highest quality, hand made soap that was sold in a fancy shop on the upper plate of sector six (very expensive but worth it), his toothbrush and toothpaste. He sighed as he wondered why the showers on the whole floor were broken, he couldn't even use the ones near the training areas as they were all connected to the same system. He refused to go to the labs, he knew he could but he had no wish to bump into Hojo and end up roped into some more horrible testing that would leave him feeling terrible. As he gazed into the bag he remembered one of his earlier excursions into Wutai before the end of the war...

 _Sephiroth sat on his bed roll, slowly running his fingers through his hair with a frown of deep concentration. Genesis watched him as if fascinated by this strange ritual._ " _Sephiroth, why didn't you bring a hair brush if you're that worried?" Angeal said irritably as he crouched and poked at their meagre fire, Sephiroth glanced at him and away again._

" _I did but it was destroyed." He said, a note of bitterness in his voice._

" _You'll be able to de-tangle it when we get back to Midgar, why bother now?"_

" _You wouldn't understand...not with hair like yours." Sephiroth snapped, wincing as he pulled out another burr, he tossed it into the fire and swore under his breath. "I hate this country!"_

" _Don't we all." Genesis said with a heavy sigh, he leaned back on one hand and gazed into the flames. The camp around them was quiet, the survivors of the latest skirmish recuperating. "I would kill for a long hot bath."_

" _I would kill for a plate of my mothers home cooked stew." Angeal said, looking up at the unfamiliar stars._

" _Hm. Your mother is an excellent cook, if we get leave soon I may have to visit her. She prefers me over you anyway." Genesis smirked and put on a high pitched voice, "You're such a polite boy, unlike mine. Such wonderful table manners. You're so much better looking. Oh my Genesis, right there! YES YES!" Angeal lobbed a pillow at him and Genesis laughed._

" _The first thing I'm doing when we get home is soaking my hair in conditioner, this is just ridiculous!" Sephiroth muttered, interrupting the light hearted banter._

 _Genesis sighed heavily and stood up, he moved to Sephiroth's bed roll and sat at his side._ " _Come here, I'll help or we'll be up all damned night." He said, shaking his head. "Why you don't cut it short I will never understand."_

" _I like it long." Sephiroth replied curtly, stiffening as Genesis' fingers began to undo knots._

Sephiroth brought himself out of the memory and blinked, he sighed heavily and leaned back against the wall, he folded his arms across his chest and frowned at his boots. If he could he would happily rip all those memories from his mind, of Genesis' laughter, of Angeal's constant nannying and his own warm feelings towards both of them. Friendship had made him weak. It had exposed him to hurt and anguish and he was becoming sloppy. He had to stop dwelling on the past and move forward, he didn't need them, he never had. But deep down he knew that wasn't true, he had needed them, he had been so desperate all his life to find people who were his equals, and he had found them only to lose them again just quickly. A frown marred his face and when the door opened to reveal Zack, dragging a blushing Cloud behind him, he straightened and, without a word to either, went into the showers.

Zack watched him go and lifted an eyebrow. "What's crawled up his ass?" He muttered.

Cloud's eyes landed on the small wash bag. "He left his stuff out here." He said and released Zack's hand, without thinking he picked it up. "I'll take it to him." He said and went back into the shower block. He walked to the showers and heard the water running, he paused, suddenly unsure of what he should do. He took a breath and cleared his throat. "Um...S-Sephiroth sir? You left your bag outside." He called and turned a corner to find Sephiroth utterly naked beneath the steamy water, Cloud's jaw dropped a little and his eyes grew large.

"Put it down there." Sephiroth said without looking at him, Cloud did as he was ordered and backed away.

"I-I'm s-sorry..." He stuttered as he went, unable to look away from the sight before him.

"No...It's me that should be apologising." Sephiroth said with a heavy sigh. "I scared you, I had no intention of-" He stopped when he saw Cloud's red face and smiled. "Embarrassing you." He finished. Cloud's eyes moved slowly up and down his body, as if entranced by what he was seeing, Sephiroth shook his head. "Could you pass me my shampoo?" Cloud swallowed and nodded, he went to the bag and knelt, pulling out the bottle of vanilla scented shampoo and crept closer as if he were dealing with a wild animal that would tear his throat out. He tentatively placed the bottle in Sephiroth's hand before trying to dart away again but his other hand wrapped tightly around his wrist and he was yanked roughly forward, his foot slipped on the tiles and he gasped just as Sephiroth took advantage of his confusion and placed a kiss on his lips. Cloud froze, his whole body stiffening, his eyes widening and seeming to take on a greenish glow of their own. Sephiroth pulled away. "Hm. You are as timid as a mouse." He said and pushed Cloud away from him, he returned to his shower and smirked as he heard Cloud flee the room.

Cloud ran and skidded around the corner, he halted when he reached the lockers that lined the walls and put both shaking hands on his knees. That kiss had been so unexpected that he had responded the only way he could think of; by running away. He gasped and put a hand to his lips that still tingled from Sephiroth's sudden kiss. Somewhere, in the back of his head someone laughed. He felt a throb of pain through his head and clutched it with one hand as his knees gave way beneath him, he groaned and the world flashed bright white. "Cloud? Hey, Cloud? You all right?" It took a moment for Zack's voice to reach through his muddled mind but finally Cloud managed to blink himself back to the present.

"Z-Zack?" He asked in a low voice. "Yeah, it's me." Zack smiled and held out his hand. "What're you doing down there? You're all wet again."

"Uh...I am?" Cloud looked down at himself, he was indeed wet. "I...I must have got under the water when I passed him the shampoo." He breathed. "I'm sorry."

"No worries." Zack helped Cloud up by the hand and ruffled his hair affectionately. "Come on, let's get you back to the barracks."

XXX

Johnny lay on his bed reading a book, he heard Cloud on the bunk beneath his tapping away on his PHS. A soft giggle drifted up from below and Johnny scowled and tried to concentrate on the chapter. More tapping and then a soft buzz, another giggle. "Oi, Cloud, if you don't stop texting your boyfriend I'm gunna stamp on your PHS." He snapped irritably. "I got a test coming up and I don't want to fail it because I couldn't concentrate."

"Sorry." Cloud said and put his phone away, Johnny sighed and relaxed but then the bunk moved and he looked up to see Cloud's spiky head appear, those pretty blue eyes gazing at him solomnly. "Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Could you cover for me tomorrow during training?"

Johnny gazed at Cloud in surprise. "Why?"

"I...I've got an extra training session with Zack and I don't want to pass up on the chance. He's a far better teacher than commander Bones."

"I know but...Bones'll do his nut in if he finds you've skipped out."

"Yeah...that's why I need you to tell him I'm sick." Cloud gave him a pleading look and Johnny sighed, he scrubbed at his hair and frowned.

"All right but you owe me."

"Thanks." Cloud's face brightened and he disappeared again.

XXX

Cloud fell to his knees, panting and holding himself up on the practice sword he was using. All around him were fields and bright blue sky that seemed to stretch for miles. A soft wind blew, causing the grass and meadow flowers to wave. It was difficult to truly believe that they were actually in a room high above a huge metal city. "Come on, it's like you're not even trying." Zack said from where he stood, leaning on his own practice sword and gazing down at Cloud. He had both hands crossed on the pommel and his chin resting on them. "I know you can do better than this."

"I...can't..." Cloud gasped and finally threw himself backwards into the grass, it even felt real. He stared up at the cloudless sky and sighed, sweat was drying on his forehead. A shadow fell across him and Zack sat at his side, leaning back on his hands. "I'm so useless." Cloud groaned and covered his face with both hands.

"No, you're not. I've seen you do some amazing stuff. You've got it in you it's just that for some reason you have difficulty getting it out." Zack sighed and let himself fall backwards, there was a puff of dandelion seed that drifted on the breeze and brushed Cloud's face. It really was incredibly realistic. Cloud's hand slid sideways and he caught Zack's, the two looked at each other and Zack grinned. Their fingers entwined and they both settled back to look up at the sky in silence for a while. It was unbelievably nice lying in the grass and holding hands with Zack, Cloud felt an unusual sense of peace settle over him and he wished that this moment could last forever. It was Zack who broke the silence. "Hey, Cloud?"

"Yeah?" Zack turned his head to look at him and smiled, he rolled over until he was lying on top of Cloud and gazing down into his flushed face. He used the fingers of one hand to brush hair from his eyes before leaning down and kissing him deeply. "I like this." He breathed as he pulled away. "I like us."

Cloud smiled uncertainly. "I do too...where did this come from?" He asked.

"Well..." Zack shifted and glanced away. "I got an order to meet Heidegger in his office this afternoon." Cloud sat up so suddenly he nearly head butted Zack, his eyes were wide in his face as he struggled out from under him and stood up. He stepped back a few paces and stared at Zack.

"H-he...he _knows_..." Cloud gasped.

"He can't know! No one knows...well...except Kunsel...and Sephiroth..." Zack added and winced at Cloud's horror struck expression.

"You told someone else?!" He almost squealed. "Are you _insane_?!"

"Well, Kunsel's cool, he wouldn't blab! I know him! He's a Second Class and a good friend."

"Zack, if anyone finds out..." Cloud swallowed in terror and turned away, one hand going to his hair. "Oh gods, I'm so done for! He'll have me executed for sure!"

"Calm down!" Zack said with a bright laugh, he got to his feet and walked over to Cloud, grabbing both hands in his own and forcing him to look at him. "It'll be fine. It's probably something silly or some special mission he's sending me on, nothing to worry about!"

"B-But what if...what if its n-not...?"

"Then we'll run away." Zack said and pulled Cloud into his arms, leaning down and kissing him deeply. "We'll run away and go live in Costa Del Sol, you could spend your days wearing nothing but swim suits..."

"Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a pervert." Cloud laughed and pushed Zack away from him gently, eyes shining brightly.

"Can't help myself, I've got such a hot guy in my arms." Zack dragged him back and kissed him again, sliding one hand down his back. "Mmm. Yeah, you'd hot in a pair of speedos."

"I...heard...that...Hojo...wears...speedos..." Cloud muttered between kisses.

Zack pulled away and made a face of disgust. "Way to go and kill the moment, Cloud." He said and Cloud smirked.

"Come on, you'd love to see it. Don't deny your burning desire for Hojo." Cloud dodged Zack's lunge, laughing as he did so. Zack stumbled and righted himself, Cloud stepped backwards, smiling as he taunted him playfully. He lifted one hand and took his glove between his teeth, he pulled it off and let it fall to the grass. Zack's eyes followed it and he licked his lips. "Or perhaps you'd prefer to see Hollander in speedos?"

"Ugh...You trying to make me sick?" Zack grimaced and tried to catch Cloud again but he spun aside and danced backwards again. He removed his other glove and let that fall too. "Cloud, let me..."

"No." Cloud giggled brightly.

"All scientists are creeps." Zack declared, putting one hand on his hip and smiling. "I have no attraction to any of them."

"Hm. Ok then, what _do_ you find attractive?" Cloud asked, lifting his now bare hand and slowly undoing the belt he wore around his top. That fell to join the gloves.

"Oh...I dunno, I quite like blonds..." Zack replied, stepping closer to Cloud who stepped away, teasing him with a smile.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Blonds who like to play hard to get."

"Hm?" Cloud unzipped his top slowly, his eyes fixed on Zack.

"Shy blonds with cute hair."

Cloud laughed and dropped a hand to his trousers, he pulled down the fly and licked his lips. His eye lids lowered a little and a devious smile appeared on his face. "Cute hair? Really?"

"Yeah, its soft." Zack lunged forward again, Cloud slipped away, just out of his grasp. "C'mon man, stop this and just let me touch you!" He moaned.

"You're not playing nicely." Cloud replied and slipped a hand down his bared chest, fingers resting just inside his boxer shorts. Zack groaned aloud.

"I'll do anything, please..."

"Oh, I like please." Cloud replied and when Zack came for him again he held his position. Hands closed around his arms and he was yanked roughly forward, Zack leaned down for a kiss but before he could Cloud lifted his foot and booted Zack in the knee. Zack cried out as he lost his balance, Cloud smiled and bent to pick up his sword from the ground. He had manoeuvred Zack right around the room back to where he had dropped it. He lifted it and put the tip to Zack's throat. "I win." He said and grinned.

"Hey! That's cheating! It's not fair!"

Cloud affected Zack's cocky attitude, he lifted a hand in a shrug. "Alls fair in love and war, Zack." He said and turned his back, he walked away, gathering his clothes as he went.

"That's scary, stop imitating me!" He called after him, wincing as he checked the damage to his knee. He saw Cloud give him a lazy salute as he exited the training room. "Gods he's so annoying...that hurt..." Zack smiled to himself and laughed brightly. "But he's so god damned hot." He sighed and shook his head as he stood shakily. Cloud's kick had been pretty brutal and he suspected he would have to put ice on it when he got back to his apartment.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Well, after all that happiness I thought i'd add a little angst because I'm mean. Enjoy.**

Chapter Twelve: Heidegger and Hojo

Zack saluted as the Head of Public Safety entered the small office, he waddled over to his desk and sat down. He waited a few moments, leaning on his elbows and eyeing Zack before sighing heavily. "At ease." He said and Zack relaxed, his eyes moved to Sephiroth who hadn't acknowledged Heidegger's presence at all. He leaned against the wall with his arms folded. "I suspect you're wondering why you're here." Heidegger began, drawing Zack's gaze to him once again.

"You could say that...sir."

"Do you know this boy." Heidegger pushed a file towards him, Zack leaned over and stared at Cloud's picture, he flushed a little and tried to hide it. He failed. "Er...yeah, that's Cloud. Cloud Strife, sir. Why?"

"Can I ask you what you were doing with him at the restaurant the other day?"

"Sir?" Zack put on a frown of confusion. "That wasn't Cloud."

"Do you take me for a fool?!" Heidegger stood up abruptly, his large belly pushing the desk forward as he slammed his hands onto it. "That boy was wearing a dress and a wig! I demand an explanation!"

"That wasn't Cloud." Zack replied calmly. "It was his twin sister, Claudia."

Heidegger froze, his eyes widening and then narrowing rapidly. "Sister? It says nothing in his file about a sister."

"Dunno why that would be, he introduced us a while back." Zack rubbed at the back of his neck and smiled. "She's cute, huh?" Heidegger flushed, his hands curling into fists on his desk.

"If you are lying to me SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair..." He let the threat trail away and Zack met his gaze solidly.

"No sir, why would I lie?"

"Very well, bring me the infantryman and I will hear this from his own lips." Heidegger gazed down at the picture of Cloud and Zack assumed himself dismissed, he backed away and then turned for the door, Sephiroth followed.

"You would do well not to antagonise him." Sephiroth muttered as the door closed behind them.

"I'm not, I'm trying to protect Cloud." Zack said as they began making their way towards the barracks. "I've gotta tell him what I told Heidegger, he's got to back up my story."

"They will find out." Sephiroth lowered his voice, keeping stride with Zack as his eyes moved around the corridor. "What will you do when they do?"

"I dunno, I guess we'll have to hide it for as long as possible."

"Stop seeing him." Sephiroth said suddenly, coming to a halt and forcing Zack to do the same.

"What?! I can't do that!"

"Why not? He is nothing. He's an infantry soldier and you can do far better. It is not simply your safety on the line but his as well, if you wish to protect him then you must break this thing off before it kills you both."

"It won't kill me." Zack grinned and folded his arms across his chest. "I'm first class now, remember? It'd take a lot to take me down."

"It would take me." Sephiroth said smoothly and began walking again, Zack froze before following.

"Hey, what does that mean?"

"Who executes a First Class who has been proven to be disloyal?"

"Another first...ah..." Zack sighed heavily. "Like they sent us out to destroy Genesis and Angeal."

"Exactly."

"Damn. So...um...would you do it?" Zack eyed Sephiroth curiously as they entered an elevator.

"I would do so if ordered, I am the only one left who would be able to. However, I cannot say that it would bring me any joy."

Zack sighed and put his arms behind his head, he leaned against the wall as they began their descent. "Well, that's about as much of an admission that you like me as I'm gunna get, right?" Sephiroth merely smiled. "Geez, we're really in trouble now aren't we?"

"Only if Cloud cannot convince Heidegger that you were with his sister at this restaurant. Is he a good liar?"

"I dunno..." Zack straightened as the doors opened. "I guess we'll have to see."

XXX

Cloud slammed his opponent, which happened to be Johnny, to the mat. He lifted a hand and curled it into a fist but before he could move to finish him the trainer blew his whistle. Cloud looked up and sat back on his haunches, allowing Johnny to sit up and grumble. "Strife! You're wanted by Heidegger!" The trainer called and Cloud climbed to his feet.

"Sir?"

"These two are here to escort you." The man looked exceedingly uncomfortable as Sephiroth and Zack appeared at the door, he put a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "Whatever you've done I would be extremely careful." He whispered softly before patting Cloud's shoulder and letting him go.

As Cloud walked over to Zack he felt the eyes of his whole unit on him, it was a little like he was walking to his own funeral. "What's going on?" He muttered as he reached them, Zack put a hand on his arm and steered him out of the room.

"Heidegger recognised you from your file." He whispered. "He interrogated me about whether you were the one at the restaurant with me."

Cloud's heart stuttered in his chest, he turned huge eyes onto Zack and pulled himself free of his grip. "He knows?!" He whispered.

"Well, he thinks he does." Zack replied.

"B-But...I'm gunna die." Cloud stumbled into a wall and put his head in his hands. "This was stupid! We've been so stupid!"

"Listen, I've told him it was your twin sister." Zack said brightly. "Just carry on with that story and he'll let you go."

"My...twin...sister...Zack you idiot! I don't have a twin! I'm an only child!"

"Yeah, so? How's he gunna know?"

"Because I said so on my application!" Cloud said in a voice bordering on complete hysteria. "By the gods, Zack, I'm so done for!"

"Calm down!" Zack put both hands on his shoulders and looked into his terrified eyes.

Cloud yanked himself free and glared at him. "This is _your_ fault." He hissed and turned away, hands clenched into fists as he stormed towards the elevator at the other end of the corridor.

"I'm...sorry..." Zack muttered dejectedly.

"He is quite right." Sephiroth mused, smiling a little as he followed Cloud. "This _is_ your fault."

"Shut up." Zack snapped.

XXX

Cloud took a deep, slow breath as he stood before Heidegger's door. He felt Zack's eyes on him but refused to look as he knocked and waited. "Enter." Cloud stepped into the room and closed it firmly in Zack's face.

"Sir, you asked to see me." He said, saluting and standing rigidly, he stared ahead of himself, not daring to meet Heidegger's gaze.

"Ah, Strife." Heidegger said, eyeing the small infantryman warily. "I have asked for you to meet today because I have a question for you."

"Sir." Cloud nodded, still standing to attention.

"Zack Fair informed me that you have a sister and yet I see no evidence to suggest such a thing in your files."

"No sir. Y-you wouldn't, sir." He almost flinched as Heidegger stood.

"So, you are telling me that on the night I saw Zack Fair in the restaurant it was you who was with him?"

"Yes sir." Cloud breathed, his face heating a little. Heidegger was silent, watching Cloud intently through his small eyes.

"You wore a dress and a wig to disguise yourself?"

"Yes sir." Cloud's cheeks flushed.

"You went on a date with a superior officer?"

"No sir." He glanced quickly to see if Heidgger had bought it.

"Then why did you do it?"

"I...I've always wanted to go to that restaurant, sir and Zack took me...I...I wore the dress as a dare, sir."

"So you are not in a romantic or sexual relationship with First Class Zack Fair."

"No sir. That would be inappropriate, sir." Cloud looked at him again and saw Heidegger appraising him, he kept his arms hidden behind his back and tried not to squirm or give any other sign he was lying.

"Then why did Mr. Fair lie to me?"

"Because I was embarrassed that I was forced to wear a dress and lost the dare, sir. He was trying to spare me humiliation." "Well, that makes sense. It would be rather humiliating. Very well, Strife, I will let you off this once." A tightness in Cloud's chest slowly eased but he tried not to look too relieved. Heidegger stood up and moved to the door, he flicked the lock and began slowly circling Cloud like a wolf. "On one condition." He said softly.

"C-Condition...sir...?" Heidgger put a hand beneath Cloud's chin and forced him to look at him.

"You are extremely pretty...for a boy."

"S-Sir..."

"In exchange for me allowing Zack to go unpunished for lying to me I want a favour."

"F-favour, sir?" Cloud felt a lump form in his throat as Heidegger smiled, he put both hands on Cloud's shoulders and leaned close so that his lips brushed Cloud's ear. He whispered what he wanted and Cloud's eyes widened.

XXX

"They've been in there ages." Zack said, pacing up and down restlessly. "What are they talking about?"

"I don't know. Heidgger's door in sound proofed." Sephiroth replied, standing by the door mostly out of curiosity as to the outcome of the mess Zack had created.

"I can't take much more of this!" Zack groaned. The door opened at that moment and Cloud stepped out into the hall, his eyes swept Zack and then Sephiroth before he turned his back on them both.

"You're off the hook, Zack." He said stiffly. "There's not going to be any punishment."

"What?! That's great! How did you do it?"

"I told him the truth...well, most of it. I said the dress was a dare and you treated me to dinner. Is that ok? Can...can I go now...?" He wrapped both his arms around himself and hung his head.

"Uh...yeah..." Zack frowned, it was unusual for Cloud to ask permission from him for anything, let alone leaving.

"Thank you, sir." He muttered and walked away.

"What happened in there?" Zack mused.

"I believe that Heidgger got what he truly wanted in the end." Sephiroth said softly. "It's not the first time and it won't be the last."

"What?" Zack's eyes narrowed and his sparkled dangerously.

"You are very naive, Zack. Have you ever noticed that cadets continue to leave ShinRa on a surprisingly regular basis?"

"I thought it was because they couldn't hack it." Zack admitted. Sephiroth shook his head.

"Think back, what did they all look like?"

"They were all...pretty..." Zack swore under his breath and anger clouded his expression. "He did something to him?! Is that what you're saying?"

"Zack, do not do anything rash!" Sephiroth said and grabbed Zack's arm in one of his hands, squeezing tightly to get his attention. "Attack him and I will kill you. It is my duty to protect him, do you understand?"

"Y-Yes...sorry..." Zack winced and Sephiroth released him with a nod.

"I would go see your lover, he will be quite upset by events." Sephiroth turned away and swept off, his coat flying out behind him like big black wings. Zack took a moment to rub his arm where Sephiroth had grabbed him but finally he sighed and walked away from Heidegger's door, he still wasn't entirely sure if he wasn't going to lose control and beat the fat man to a bloody pulp, despite Sephiroth's warning.

XXX

Sephiroth stood at the doors to the upper floor canteen. His eyes scanned the patrons and landed upon a small group of dark suited people, two women and three men. He strode towards them, sweeping past several people before they even realised he was there. Eyes followed his progress and quickly darted away again as if they feared to meet his gaze. Finally he stopped at their table. "Tha's cruel, Rude man!" Reno said loudly, laughing as he leaned back in his chair. He put his shoes on the table and sipped his coffee.

"I explained to him that he was-" Rude fell silent the second he noticed Sephiroth and then all the others did too.

"Ah, I knew we'd have someone come an' ruin our fun, yo." Reno said with a heavy sigh, he let his chair fall forwards with a sharp bang and slowly got to his feet, Rude followed suit and cracked his knuckles. Sephiroth smiled.

"Sephiroth, what do you want?" Tseng asked, holding out his hand to stop his Turks from moving forward as Reno looked as if he was about to do.

"A word." Sephiroth said calmly, eyes flicking to the gathered Turks, taking in each one. Cissnei smiled politely at him, her counterpart, a small blond woman merely frowned while Reno and Rude stood a step behind Tseng, ready in case tensions increased. Sephiroth's mind raced ahead of him as he worked out how he would disable each and every one of them, he smiled to himself. "If you would be so kind."

"Hey, you can' order us around!" Reno snapped, his hand dropping to his belt. Tseng grabbed his wrist firmly and gave him a warning look before releasing him.

"We can talk in the hall." Tseng said and walked away, motioning for his fellows to remain behind, they did so reluctantly. "I apologise for them, we've been having a few...issues in our department and they have difficulty trusting anyone from SOLDIER at the moment."

"Understandable. I have heard the rumours." They both came to a halt just outside the doors, Sephiroth looked around. "Perhaps somewhere more private would be more suitable, what I have to discuss is of a..." He paused as he considered how to phrase his words. "Sensitive nature." He finished and Tseng looked at him for a long time in silence.

"This would be more suited for Veld's ears." he said in a low voice.

"I would not wish to bother your boss with something as trivial as this." Sephiroth replied.

"Trivial? Then why come to us at all?"

"I was certain you would wish to gain some important information on a common enemy."

"Common enemy..." Tseng repeated slowly before abruptly turning around and leading Sephiroth down the hall. "I know a room. There are no security cameras as it is little more than a store room for the cleaning bots, but it is private."

"Excellent." They fell into step with each other, people moved as far out of their way as possible as they walked and Sephiroth found it highly amusing. Finally Tseng stopped before a plain metal door, he lifted his key card and slid it through the slot. Sephiroth knew that that card gave him access to every inch of ShinRa HQ, even areas he himself was barred from. They entered the small, dimly lit room and the door slid shut behind them. Tseng turned around and waited expectantly. "Heidegger." Sephiroth said slowly.

"What of him?"

"I heard that you recently had a little trouble with him."

Tseng smiled blandly, his face giving nothing away. "And where did you hear that?"

"A friend of a friend." Sephiroth answered cryptically. "I wondered if you have cameras in his office?"

"Why?"

"Because there is certain footage of him engaging in inappropriate activities with a young infantry solider."

Tseng's lips parted slightly, Sephiroth assumed that that was about as surprised as he ever got. "How long ago?" He asked quickly.

"About an hour."

"I see. And why are you giving me this information?"

"Because I want it used to prevent him touching that soldier ever again." Sephiroth said softly but his tone was dark, he allowed a little anger into his voice and Tseng's eyes narrowed as his body tensed. Was it fear? Or was it merely a simple reaction to someone exhibiting anger? Sephiroth smiled benignly, taking the edge off of his words.

"A common enemy indeed." Tseng said quietly and turned to look blindly at the cleaning robots. "I understand what you want, give me time and I may be able to do it."

"You will?"

"Of course. Anything to bring Heidegger down a peg or two. Shall we say that he has...incurred the wrath of the Turks." Tseng's smile was a little twisted as he spoke and he brought his hand up, spreading his fingers in a half shrug. "Junon was a disaster and he must pay."

"I thought we could agree on this."

"I will see what I can do. Reno will enjoy it, I'm sure. Now I must return before they start wondering if you've murdered me." Tseng walked to the door and left, Sephiroth followed. They parted in silence.

XXX

"Hey, Cloud! Open up!" Zack banged on the door to Cloud's dorm room for the fifth time, he sighed and rested his head against it. "Come on, let me in! Just...talk to me, please!" The door opened so suddenly Zack nearly fell through it, he righted himself and looked up to see Johnny standing there with his arms folded across his chest.

"He doesn't want to see you." He said coolly.

"I know but I have to talk to him! Please!" Zack said desperately.

"Sir, I know this is awkward but Cloud's..." Johnny paused and glanced back into the room. "He's not himself." He said and lowered his voice. "It's weird, he won't even talk to me."

"I know what happened. Cloud! Cloud, please just talk to me! Let me apologise!"

"Go away!" Cloud's voice was muffled as if he had his face pressed into his pillow.

"He's been puking on and off for a while now...he's not eaten anything either." Johnny said quietly. "I don't know what's got into him."

Zack clenched his hands into fists and straightened his back. "Cloud Strife, get out here now!" He ordered in his best impression of Angeal, from when he ordered him around.

Cloud was out the door in a second, hand already rising in an automatic salute. "Sir!" He said and Zack grinned triumphantly. Before Cloud could do anything to prevent him Zack grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the room, he tugged him none too gently down the hall until they were a little distance away from the main dorms. When they came to a halt Cloud ripped his arm free, giving Zack a furious glare. "What do you want?!" He hissed, backing away a few paces and wrapping his arms around himself in a protective gesture. "I did it! I got us off the hook! What more do you want from me?!" He said desperately.

"I just want to know what happened! What did he do to you?" Zack said, lowering his voice and looking Cloud over carefully. He was pale and looked slightly clammy and his eyes were dark.

"You want to know? Really? Zack, if I told you you'd go back there and kill him! I'm not going to do that. I won't be responsible for your death!"

"Sephiroth said pretty much the same thing." Zack said darkly, eyes glowing a little brighter as his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "What did he do?" He demanded. Cloud gazed at him for a long moment in silence before taking a deep breath.

"He didn't do anything much." He said weakly, lowering his head in shame as his cheeks heated and he began to shake a little. "He said he'd let you off if...if I...if I did him a favour." He whispered. "I-I...I'm sorry...I didn't have a choice! He would have had you executed! Please, you have to understand why I did it!"

"Cloud? What did you do?" Zack said, forcing himself to keep his voice even, despite the urge to shout at him and shake him.

"I...I gave him...a-a..." Cloud's face went pale and he put a hand to his mouth as if he were about to be sick. "I gave him a blow job." He muttered, closing his eyes and turning his head away. "It was the only way. H-he offered me...a-a promotion...into S-SOLDIER i-if I...if I d-did it again."

Zack froze. His eyes were wide and his lips parted in shock. "What...what did you do?" He asked quietly.

This time Cloud looked up at him, his eyes burning with pride. "I refused." He said firmly. "If I don't get in on my own merit then there's no point to any of this. How could I ever put on the uniform with any ounce of pride if I got into SOLDIER by giving myself to Heidegger? It's wrong. I won't lower myself that much."

Zack relaxed slowly and sighed. "I'm sorry. This is all my fault." He muttered, leaning against the wall of the corridor.

"Yeah, it kinda is." Cloud replied but he backed away when Zack tried to embrace him. "No. Not anymore. It's too dangerous...I'm sorry." He walked away, his head down and didn't look back up again. Zack watched him return to his dorms and felt suddenly empty, as if his very soul had gone with Cloud.

XXX

Zack found it increasingly odd that Heidegger was absent from a vast majority of SOLDIER-orientated events for the next few days. Whenever he asked Sephiroth about it he would only get a self satisfied smirk in response. The Turks too looked inordinately happy, they went about talking loudly, smiles evident on their faces and laughter in their eyes whenever Heidegger was brought up by someone. Zack found it odd but his curiosity was dimmed by the fact that Cloud hadn't even contacted him since they had spoken outside the cadets' dorms. One day he managed to corner Cissnei as she was walking to the executive elevators, he smiled and she returned it as she spotted him. "Zack, how are you?"

"I'm good." Zack said, walking towards her and stopping. "Hey, I've wondered if you know why Heidgger's been acting weird recently." He said abruptly and saw her smile widen with pure joy.

"Oh, he's probably nursing his hurt pride." She said and giggled lightly. "A man who has secrets as big as his should be more wary."

"That's cryptic." Zack muttered, pouting a little at the lack of information. Laughter prevented him from asking more questions, he looked over Cissnei's shoulder and spotted Reno with Rude coming towards them.

"Cissnei, what're you doin' chattin' here?" Reno asked as he came to a halt before Zack, his EMR tapping his shoulder lightly.

"I was talking to Zack." Cissnei said with a smile.

Reno smirked as he eyed Zack, he moved forward and began slowly circling him like a wolf stalking its prey. "I saw your boyfriend with Heidegger, yo. He's a bit of whore, wouldn't mind a go on him myself." He laughed as Zack's anger overrode his sense, and he grabbed Reno by the throat, slamming him roughly against the wall.

"Shut your mouth, Turk!" He growled furiously.

"He sucked Heidegger off, yo! I saw the whole damned thing!" Reno laughed, pushing Zack's arm away as it pressed against his neck. "He's got a cute mouth, is he really that good?"

"I said. Shut. Up." Zack's eyes glowed fiercely as jealousy and anger pounded through his veins.

"Reno! Stop taunting him!" Cissnei said, "Zack, let him go. There's no point in fighting." She tugged ineffectually at Zack's arm and Rude stepped forward, grabbed Zack around the neck with one arm and flung him backwards into the wall opposite. Zack hit it and his hand went for his sword, his fingers wrapping around the hilt. Reno stepped forward and pressed the button on his EMR, causing little bolts of electricity to course over its surface. He pointed it threateningly at Zack as he used his free hand to rub his throat. "Reno!" Cissnei said again angrily. "SOLDIER should stick to followin' orders like the dogs they are, yo." Reno said quietly. "Messin' with us will get ya killed."

"Killed?" Zack laughed, a low, dangerous sound that made Cissnei shift uneasily. "I'm no dog, Turk. That title belongs to you."

"Puppy then, wasn' it?" Reno turned and raised an eyebrow at Cissnei, she didn't answer. "Tha's what I heard your mentor called you. Puppies have sharp little teeth bu' can' do much damage yo." Reno crouched down so he was on Zack's level, a smirk played about his lips. "Fuck with us, Puppy, an' you'll see the dark side of the Turks, ya get me?"

"You started this!" Zack snapped back, leaping to his feet and reaching behind him to grab his sword again. "Do you want to finish it?"

Reno stepped back, giving himself room, the smile never leaving his face as his eyes lit up in excitement. "Tha' a challenge?" He asked gleefully. "Never fought a SOLDIER First before, yo. Could be interestin'."

"Reno, please, this is insane! What if Veld finds out?"

"What he don't know aint gunna hurt him." Reno slashed his EMR through the air experimentally. "Rude?"

"..." Rude cracked his knuckles, wearing a grim smile.

"Tha's my partner." Reno laughed but before he could make any sort of move a shout brought him up short.

"Reno! Rude! Cissnei! What is going on here? You were expected up in the Presidents office ten minutes ago!" Tseng appeared around the corner, watching the scene through narrowed eyes. "Zack, please release your weapon, there will be no fight."

Reno's smile fell and he sighed. "Jus' when I thought my day would get interestin', yo. Ah well, guess I got no choice now." He retracted his weapon and stuck it back in the holster on his belt.

Rude relaxed his threatening pose and Tseng nodded. "Go." He said and the Turks walked away but not before Reno leaned in to hiss in Zack ear.

"You better watch that boyfriend of yours, yo. He's caught my eye, an' I always get my prize." He chuckled and stuck both hands in his pockets before striding off, followed by a silent Rude and an apologetic Cissnei. Tseng watched them enter the elevator before sighing heavily. "I apologise for their misconduct." He said stiffly. "They're...tense. Zack?" He frowned as he realised Zack wasn't listening but frowning after the Turks.

"Huh? Oh sorry. I've gotta go, see you around." Zack walked away, leaving Tseng gazing after him in surprise.

XXX

The mess hall was busy, full of infantry eating and talking. Zack entered and looked around, searching for that head of spiky blond hair. He found Cloud sat beside Johnny but on his other side was a red haired Turk. Zack's hands tensed, curling into fists at his sides as anger flooded his system. Reno was leaning back in his seat, laughter on his lips and eyes glued to Cloud who was laughing with him. It wasn't the first time Zack had seen them together, since Reno's threat he had been with Cloud every time Zack had attempted to corner him to talk. Reno seemed to sense his burning gaze and looked up, a smirk crossed his face, his eyes narrowed deviously as he lifted a hand and touched Cloud's. Cloud said something and Reno nodded, replying and leaning forward intimately. Zack turned on his heel and left the hall.

"Zack, are you paying attention?" Sephiroth's voice seemed to come from far away and Zack blinked, he looked up to find all eyes on him. They were now in a meeting, they were discussing the recent rise in skirmishes from dissatisfied remnants of the Wutai war. These people were causing small issues throughout the world, although compared to AVALANCHE they were pretty minor the President was nervous about the amount of support they were receiving from the people.

"Oh...oh yeah...sorry." Zack said and slumped in his seat as people began to talk again. He sighed to himself and thought back on the previous nights dream. He closed his eyes against the urge to slam his fist into the table, he had to control himself. All he could see were Dream-Cloud's eyes as he had called Reno's name in ecstasy. That pretty blush on his cheeks, his back arched as Reno's mouth moved over his chest. Zack shook his head quickly, dislodging the dream and all the emotion it brought with it. He set his mind back on the meeting. Cloud was ignoring all of Zack's messages. He refused to answer his calls and he was actively avoiding him whenever possible. Slowly Zack was beginning to realise just how deeply he felt for him, it was like Cloud had taken his heart with him and it hurt like nothing else ever had. He understood why Cloud was doing it but Zack didn't care anymore. He wanted him. Cloud had somehow got under his skin in a way no one else ever had, his small, slightly shy smile, his big blue eyes and soft laugh. It made Zack feel happy and scared all at once and the feeling was utterly fantastic. It was becoming exceedingly difficult for Zack to stop himself from going down to the barracks and forcing Cloud to confront him, he knew Cloud well enough to know that that would not be well received. What was worse was that Sephiroth seemed to be able to talk to Cloud. They would sometimes be seen together in the hall ways, Zack wasn't sure what was said between them but the worshipful look Cloud kept giving Sephiroth made his insides burn. Cloud had been obsessed with Sephiroth, he was the sole reason he had come to Midgar in the first place. He was even a part of the Silver Elite fan club. It was stupid, Sephiroth had warned Zack off of having a relationship with Cloud, why would he go against his own words? The question didn't ease Zack's jealousy however, especially not when he began to see something in Sephiroth's eyes when he happened to look at the tiny blond. It was impossible. Surely, Sephiroth would never have any interest in a mere infantry soldier? That night Zack went to sleep with Cloud on his mind, as he did every night. Cloud was against the wall, his hair slicked with sweat, he was gasping and panting and writhing. But it wasn't Zack that was causing this reaction. It was Reno. It was Sephiroth.

Zack woke with gasp, eyes wide as he stared up at the dark ceiling of his one bedroomed apartment. He groaned and scrubbed at his face, he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "Angeal...I need help." He whispered softly into the night. His prayer went unanswered.

XXX

"Sephiroth if you are not going to assist me then I shall be forced to sedate you." Sephiroth lifted his eyes to Hojo, they were glowing almost too brightly to look into. His pale skin was bathed in sweat and he felt physically sick which was very rare in normal circumstances. He leaned heavily against the wall, silver hair falling untidily into his face. He wore nothing but his leather trousers as his coat had been tossed over the open door.

"I...I will not allow you to do any more testing." He whispered hoarsely.

"I have one more test to do before I am done, you will sit here until I am finished." Hojo replied irritably. He lifted a needle to the light, a frown creasing his forehead as he pushed the plunger to expel any air. Sephiroth eyed the strange black substance as it was lowered and the tip of the needle pressed into the crook of his arm. "Your body is truly remarkable." He muttered absently as the contents of the syringe were emptied into Sephiroth's veins.

"Whatever. Are we done?" Sephiroth replied, slipping further down the wall as exhaustion and weakness filled his entire body. His muscles ached. His limbs felt shaky and his breathing was sharp in his chest. He swallowed bile as it rose into his throat and closed his eyes.

"No. I must observe you for at least two hours." Hojo replied shortly, lifting a clipboard and scribbling something down. "Now, sit here like a good boy while I go and-" He turned as he spoke and was brought up short when he saw a blond infantry soldier standing in the door way. "Excuse me? Is there a reason you are interrupting my work?"

"C-Cloud?" Sephiroth opened his eyes. He lifted an arm and Cloud walked straight to him, his head bowed and seemingly utterly unaware of Hojo's presence.

"What-" Hojo gasped, eyes widening behind his glasses as excitement burst in his chest. He turned and left the two alone, moving as quickly as he could towards the observation room. He slammed the door open and turned to the assistant at the desk. "Write up everything you are witnessing! Do not miss a thing! This is...this is the biggest breakthrough we have had in the Jenova project since Sephiroth's birth!"

"S-sir, of course!" The woman grabbed a pad of paper and took to writing everything down. Hojo grinned, a smile so wide it seemed to reach off of his face.

Sephiroth felt a little delirious. He had no idea why Cloud was there, he had only been thinking of him as Hojo had completed his tests, a vain attempt to take his mind off of the agony sweeping through his body. He sat up and reached out to Cloud, cupping his chin and lifting his head so that their eyes met. Cloud's lips were slightly parted, his eyes a bright acidic green beneath the slightly lowered lids. "Sephiroth...called..." He breathed, the sound barley passing his lips.

"I...called?" Sephiroth frowned, confusion adding to his muddled state of mind. Cloud nodded and continued to stare at him. His thumb rose to caress Cloud's bottom lip, the action almost tender. Cloud shivered, his fingers twitching a little but he made no other movement. He looked as lifeless as a doll, his soft hair falling into his eyes and limbs pliant. A puppet. A small, beautiful, perfect little puppet. Sephiroth leaned forward, pain twinging through his abdomen as he pressed his lips to Cloud's, continuing to hold him still with a hand under his chin. Cloud responded slowly, as if waking from a dream. A soft, desperate moan escaped his lips and Sephiroth pushed his tongue into his mouth. He wasn't entirely in control of his body, it was as if his brain had decided to short circuit and give control over to his heavy heart. He lifted a free hand and slid it down Cloud's back, dragging him closer. When he pulled away and once again looked blearily into those strange eyes he realised that he could order Cloud to do anything and his orders would be carried out with no questions asked. He could order Cloud to his knees, order him to undo his fly and use that tongue to- Sephiroth cut off that thought abruptly. He pushed the blond away from him and shook his head. "Get out." He whispered as he slumped once again against the wall, pushing one hand into his hair and closing his eyes. He heard Cloud's footsteps retreat and the door swing nearly closed behind him.

Cloud was at the elevator when he blinked and abruptly came back to himself. He stared at his raised hand as his finger pressed against the down button. Slowly he began to tremble and slowly turned to gaze back down the corridor. Terror swept through him as he realised he had no idea how he had got there. The hall was brightly lit and the doors leading off were occasionally opened as white clad scientists and assistants wondered too and fro. He leaned against the wall as his knees threatened to give way beneath him, sweat sprang out on his skin and he lifted a hand to wipe it away. His memory of the last half hour was gone. Utterly blank. It had been happening more and more frequently and it terrified him beyond reason. Finally, after taking a moment to collect himself, he straightened and slammed the elevator button. He had to get out of there. He had to leave and get somewhere safe so that he could forget all it. The lift doors opened onto the lower floor and Cloud stepped out, he was feeling much calmer now he was no longer in the science department. He took a slow breath and steadied his beating heart before exiting the elevator and making his way towards the infantry training rooms, he had drills to do and was going to be late. He picked up his pace and almost walked straight into a solid body. He stepped back. "Sorry." He said and looked up.

"Cloud!" Zack said and grinned.

"Z-Zack..." Cloud glanced around but there was no one else in the corridor. "Look, I'm late for-"

"I've been meaning to talk to you, come here." Zack grabbed Cloud's hand and dragged him into a nearby empty office. He turned and closed the door before lowering his head and sighing. "I'm sorry." He said quietly.

"For what?" Cloud replied.

"For...everything. I fucked up. I know I did...geeze, this is harder than I thought it would be." He sighed and turned around to look at Cloud, his eyes moving over him slowly. "Are you all right? You look sick."

"I'm fine. What do you want?"

"I...I just..." Zack paused and shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared off to the side with a frown. "I shouldn't have been so forceful with you. I scared you off, I know that."

"You didn't do anything." Cloud said in a whisper, he took two steps closer nervously. "I did what I did to keep you safe...I wasn't given a choice but I wouldn't change it."

"You don't need to keep me safe, especially not by doing that kind of stuff." Zack replied."Look, I want-"

Cloud cut him off with a firm shake of his head. "No." He said, a flicker of pain passing through his eyes.

"You haven't even heard what I was gunna say!"

"You want to continue with our...relationship. We can't. It's over Zack." Cloud's hands clenched into fists as he strode to the door, head dropping so that his scarf covered his mouth. He stared at his feet as he pushed open the door with one hand but froze when the other was caught by Zack and he was turned around. Zack pinned him against the door, slamming it shut as he grabbed Cloud's shoulders and held him there.

"You don't understand! You can't leave!"

"Why?" Cloud tensed, gazing up into Zack's desperate, pleading face.

"Because I love you!" He blurted. There was a moment of utter silence.

Cloud's lips parted and his eyes slowly widened in surprise. A blush crept to his cheeks as he began to shake his head. "N-no..." He breathed. "Don't say that!" He pulled himself out of Zack's grasp and turned around, one hand clenching on the door handle as he pressed his forehead into it. He closed his eyes against the pain that erupted in his chest. "You have no right to say that to me! How could you?"

"What?" Zack blinked at the sudden anger in Cloud's voice.

"Don't lie to me like that! It's...it's so cruel!"

"Lie?" Zack laughed and took hold of Cloud's shoulders, he turned him around and forced him to meet his firm gaze. "I'm not lying. Cloud, I really do love you." Cloud's eyes scanned Zack's face rapidly, they narrowed a little and he lifted his hands to push against Zack's chest but he was unyielding.

"Don't." He whispered hoarsely. "Please." he pressed his forehead against Zack's chest and squeezed his eyes shut as his fingers tangled in his unform. "Don't say that if you don't mean it."

"I just said I meant it. Cloud, look at me." He put a hand under Cloud's chin so that their eyes met. He leaned down and pressed their lips together. "I don't lie to people I care about." He breathed against Cloud's mouth. "I'd never lie to you."

"Z-Zack..." Cloud trembled a little before he took a breath and slowly began to relax. "You...you mean it?"

"Yeah. I do."

"Then...then kiss me. I...I missed you." Cloud's voice cracked a little and Zack gladly claimed his lips once again, this time he pushed his tongue gently into Cloud's open mouth and smiled as Cloud's arms surrounded his waist and pulled their bodies closer together.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Hullo again my dear readers, this chapter contains smut! Yay! Also, Reno's being a shit...but he's always a shit so no change there. I will say that Reno is literally just a giant flirt and has no intentions of trying to actually steal Cloud away from Zack, he's just winding them both up because he's like that. Enjoy my friends.**

Chapter Thirteen: Breaking

"Zack, take your unit around the rocks to the left. We need to hem them in and trap them against the cliff face!" Sephiroth ordered and Zack gazed at him, his hands clenched into fists at his sides and his face twisted in disgust. "Zack?" Sephiroth's voice lowered and he eyed the boy.

"S-Sir." Zack finally forced his legs to move, he turned away and issued his orders to his unit of infantry.

"Zack, orders are orders." Sephiroth reminded him coldly.

"Orders...yeah...I got you." Zack replied, frowning towards the cliff where he knew the small group of Wutaiian refugees were camped. "Sephiroth?"

"Yes?"

"Is the intelligence true?"

"It has been verified by the Turks."

Zack swallowed tightly and lowered his head. "Women and children." He hissed through his teeth. Sephiroth said nothing. "Sephiroth I-"

"They are enemies." Sephiroth cut him off. "That is all."

"This...this isn't what I signed up for. I never...I didn't...I don't like this. It goes against everything Angeal taught me." He finally lifted his eyes to Sephiroth, revealing his pain. "I can't do this."

"Angeal...he was always reluctant when it came to such things too. You have to understand that being SOLDIER means having to do things you dislike."

"Stop it! This isn't some chore I don't want to do! This is a group of unarmed civilians! We're not the bad guys! We're not-"

Sephiroth arched an eyebrow and a small smile flickered across his lips. "Angeal didn't teach you as well as i'd thought. We _are_ the enemies, Zack. To those people out there, those who lost family, friends and homes to us. We _are_ the bad guys." Sephiroth lifted a hand and gestured to the encampment where people were likely eating dinner and talking together around the fires they had built. "Did you think that all the casualties of war were soldiers? Fighting men like us?" He laughed softly. "You are still a child."

Zack turned away and shook his head. "Collateral damage I can live with, but this? This is just murder."

"History is always written by the victors, Zack. In years to come you will be hailed as a hero by scholars everywhere. The fact that this moment took place will fade into obscurity until no one remembers it. You weren't there in Wutai during the worst of the fighting, it was chaos. Soldiers and innocents died in huge numbers, it was impossible to tell one from the other. It is our duty to carry out these orders, I don't ask why."

"How do you live with yourself?" Zack asked in a whisper.

Sephiroth smiled. "My entire life I have been trained for battle, I am a soldier, it is what I do...it is my only purpose."

Zack shook his head again before walking away. "I'm not like you." He breathed.

Sephiroth watched him go, his face falling into a frown. "No, you're not." He agreed.

XXX

Cloud was woken by a soft knock on the door of his dorm, he yawned and slowly climbed out of bed. "Wha' time issit?" Johnny mumbled.

"Early." Cloud replied.

"Ugh...tell 'em to go away."

"Yeah." Cloud opened the door, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Look it's-Zack?!" His eyes widened as he saw Zack standing at the door, head bowed and hands clenched into fists. His uniform was bloody and his armour scratched. "What happened? How did the mission go?" Cloud lowered his voice and stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind him. Zack said nothing as he reached out and pulled Cloud to him, Cloud's face was pressed into his bloody chest. "Z-Zack?"

"Cloud...just...let me hold you." He whispered and Cloud stilled, allowing Zack this moment of intimacy. They stayed like that for a few moments before Zack sank to his knees, dragging Cloud down with him. He buried his face in Cloud's hair and gripped him almost painfully. Cloud could feel him shaking and wondered what on earth had happened. "I wanted...to be a hero..." Zack muttered. "Angeal always talked about honour a-and pride...but what I did...What I...there's no honour in that. None."

"Zack, are you ok?" Cloud asked softly, pulling away and looking up at him. They were sprawled against the wall and their limbs entangled intimately. Cloud now had blood staining his face and hair, Zack lifted a hand and wiped it away.

"Don't ever change, Cloud." He breathed and kissed him deeply, his hands curling into fists in Cloud's t-shirt. "Never."

"I don't plan to." Cloud replied in confusion. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Zack pulled away abruptly and stood up. "It's...best if I don't. Cloud?"

"Yeah?" Cloud continued to look up at Zack from the floor.

"Don't enter SOLDIER." He muttered and walked away. "I gotta take a shower."

"Zack? Zack please..."

"I'll see you later." Zack forced his face into a smile and gave Cloud a lazy salute.

"What was that all about?" Cloud shook his head and stood up, it took him a moment to realise he too was covered in blood from Zack's clothes. "Huh...I hope he's all right." He looked down at his bloodied hands and wiped them casually on his trousers, perhaps he should have been more affected by the sight of so much blood but Zack hadn't been injured, at least physically and Cloud found it very difficult to worry too much about the blood and gore. It had never been something that bothered him too much. He sighed heavily and decided to hunt Zack down as soon as he was off duty to find out if everything was ok. He turned but was halted when he heard someone moving down the corridor. He turned to find Reno, the Turk that had been following him, yawning as he walked over. "Hello. It's been a while." Cloud said, smiling. Reno's quick eyes roved over Cloud's body and he raised an eyebrow.

"You covered in blood, yo."

"Yeah, I know." Cloud smiled. "Zack was here, fresh from a mission. I'll wash it off in a bit. What are you doing here so early?" Cloud liked Reno despite the fact that he was a little on the shadowy side. He was funny and friendly and was good to laugh with.

"You don' seem bothered by all tha' blood, yo."

Cloud shrugged. "Not really. I don't really care about things like that."

Reno smirked. "Pretty cold, yo." He cocked his head to one side and his smile grew. "You know that that's the blood of some kids, righ'? Zack was ordered to kill 'em. Wutaiian refugees."

Cloud blinked and looked down at the red stains covering his t-shirt. "Oh." He said and looked back up at Reno. "An order's an order, right?" He couldn't see Zack killing indiscriminatingly, it was likely something that could endanger the lives of others and so had to be done. Zack wouldn't do it otherwise.

"I'm impressed, you got a cold way of lookin' at things. You sound worse than Tseng." Reno laughed and clapped Cloud on the back.

"I'm really not." Cloud replied. "Are you still following me?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah. Go' orders from higher up, yo. Not that I mind, for a mark you're pretty cute."

Cloud blushed. "Stop it. I'm not cute. Anyway, I'm going to take a shower." He turned away and went inside his room, he saw Reno take up a position outside the door and lean against the wall. He didn't hide himself so much anymore and in some ways Cloud found it was nice to have someone to talk to, on the other hand the fact that he was being tailed by the Turks put a lot of his fellow infantry off coming anywhere near him.

"Need help?" Reno asked, smirking as Cloud exited his room clutching a towel, a fresh uniform and his wash bag.

Cloud laughed. "No, i'm sure I can wash on my own." He walked towards the shower rooms with Reno a step behind. "Must you follow me everywhere?" he sighed.

"Sorry, kid. I gotta do my job. Boss said you gotta be watched so I'm gunna watch, yo."

"I don't suppose you know why?"

"No, sorry." Reno flashed him a smile. "You sure you don' need help in there?" He nodded towards the showers and Cloud snorted before walking inside. "Worth a try." Reno shrugged and took up a position outside the room with his arms folded and shoulders slouched.

XXX

Hojo read the reports sent to him on the subject, a sense of disappointment pervaded him as he read. The boy was perfectly average, his tutors and commander all said that he was polite, well disciplined and quiet. He spoke only when spoken to and rarely was any trouble. Hojo concluded that Project C was boring. He sighed and closed the file of reports, sent to him by the Turks. Something was bothering him about what he had witnessed with Sephiroth and the boy, they had been close, unnaturally so. The boy responded to Sephiroth in surprising ways, seeming to be under some sort of spell. Hojo frowned and turned on his computer, he waited for it to boot up before accessing his own records on the Jenova Project. It was an amalgamation of his own and Gast's research with an occasional few notes from Hollander, although he tried to keep them to a minimum. Hollander had been a waste of a brain. Hojo sighed as he read the files through, searching for anything that might give him an idea of what had happened. Finally he stumbled across one of his own notes regarding his exploration of a sample of Jenova's cells.

 _The cells act unusually when they are kept inside separate dishes. They tend to move, as if they are searching for something, towards the edges of their containers. I have witnessed them collect against the sides, as if they are attempting to draw each other back together again._

Typically Hollander had laughed at his discovery, Gast had found it mildly interesting but had preferred to concentrate fully on his own research of the Ancients and the Promised Land. Hojo, however, had never forgotten what he had seen. Slowly he wondered if the cells' strange activity could be re-created on a larger scale. Would Jenova's cells be able to find each other again if separated by miles? Perhaps continents?

" _Sephiroth...called..."_

The subjects words echoed through Hojo's mind and a smile twisted his face, he leaned back and began laughing hysterically. Of course, he could easily put his burgeoning theory to the test. It would be so simple.

XXX

 _Subject: Hi From: Cloud_

 _Hey, Zack, it's been a while. I'm just messaging you to check to make sure you're all right. I'm worried, yesterday you were acting so strange and Reno said that something bad happened. Please, let me know you're ok._

Zack sighed heavily and closed his PHS, he wasn't in the mood for talking. He rolled onto his side as he lay on his bed and ran fingers through his untidy hair. The previous day had been an utter disaster. Heidegger seemed to blame Zack personally for the near collapse of his career and so had taken to berating him whenever possible, Zack had lost it. He had punched Heidegger in the face and now he was under temporary house arrest as punishment. He hadn't intended to allow his emotions to get the better of him but when he saw Heidegger's smug grin he couldn't help himself. He rolled over again and gazed out over his living room, he was lying on the bed wearing little more than a t-shirt and boxers and he was bored mindless. On top of all that he was still dealing with the fact that he had been party to a massacre of innocents. Their screams still echoed in his ears and he had to shut them out but couldn't. He knew he deserved to suffer, he was responsible just as much as ShinRa was for sending him on such a terrible mission. He could have refused but as usual he hadn't even asked what they were doing until he got there. Sephiroth had, after all, refused to go after Angeal and Genesis. He had his reasons and would likely have compromised the mission by allowing his personal feelings to get involved, but the same held true for Zack and the refugees. He had, briefly, seen the end of the war with Wutai and that had been brutal but nothing had prepared him for what came next. His PHS beeped again and he flipped it open. He rolled onto his front and rested his chin on a cushion as he read the message.

 _Subject: … From: Cloud_

 _I miss you._

Reluctantly a grin spread across Zack's face and he chuckled a little. Cloud had a way of making him feel better, no matter how down he was. With a sigh he began to message back.

 _S_ _ubject: Miss you too From: Zack_

 _I'm sorry, I really can't see you at the moment. I'm under temporary house arrest for punching Heidegger and Sephiroth's currently trying to stop my punishment from getting any worse. But I'm sure they'll be lenient, after all Heidegger punches people all the time and no one except Scarlet likes him and even then i'm pretty sure she hates him too. Anyway, apart from that i'm fine. Although I wouldn't mind seeing you, I can't get you out of my head. I love you._

 _Subject: You sap. From: Cloud_

 _You punched Heidegger?! How are you not dead? I bet Sephiroth was furious. I wish i'd been there to see it. Maybe I could sneak up to your room later?_

 _Subject: … From: Zack_

 _I would love it. Really. But Sephiroth's said he'll stay outside and guard me, make sure I stay put. I doubt he'll let you in. It sucks._

 _Subject: Damn From: Cloud_

 _Ah, ok then. I guess I'll see you around. I will have to go out with Johnny and the others tonight then, I haven't got a decent excuse anymore. But I know Reno might be going, at least he's entertaining. I hope you get out soon._

Zack frowned at the message, so Reno was moving in on Cloud when he wasn't around? He swore softly and rolled onto his back to stare up at the ceiling. There was a knock on his door and he sighed heavily before climbing off the bed and moving to it, he opened it and found himself looking at Cissnei. "Hey."

"Hi. Sephiroth got called out on a mission so I've been told to babysit." She smiled brightly. "I just wanted to tell you and make sure you don't need anything."

"No, thanks...I'm fine." Zack frowned at the wall a moment before sighing heavily and slumping. "I'm so bored..." He whined.

Cissnei giggled. "It serves you right for punching your boss."

"Hey, he deserved it! I just had enough."

"He seems to be getting under a lot of people's skins at the moment." He smile widened, causing her to look a little bit evil before it faded again and she looked at him in concern.

"I heard what they made you do."

Zack looked away. "Yeah, well...I could have said no."

"Could you?" Cissnei shook her head. "They're using you all wrong, just like they did to us at Junon. You're too honourable to do something like that, it should have been handled better."

"Should have, would have, could have, right?" Zack shrugged and leaned against the door frame. "You wanna come in for some coffee?"

Cissnei blushed a little and looked away. "I'm supposed to be your guard..."

"We're not leaving my apartment, it's just coffee...I'm dying to have someone to talk to! Please?"

She debated for a moment before finally nodding. "Ok."

Zack made coffee while Cissnei moved curiously around his living room, gazing at the few books, looking at his small collection of random objects he had gathered. She picked up a rock which had crystals inside it. "You have a lot of strange things." She said absently.

"I do?"

"Yes. Do you collect them when you go on missions?"

"Sometimes, if I find something interesting." Zack turned and brought her a steaming mug of coffee. "Angeal collected plants, he gave me that cactus over there." He nodded in the direction of a tiny potted cactus. "It's from Gongaga."

"How sweet." Cissnei said as she took her mug and sipped carefully at the scolding liquid. She saw a golden chocobo feather sitting beside the rock. "Why do you have a chocobo feather?"

Zack's smile changed, it became dreamy. "Cloud." He muttered.

"That blond infantry soldier?"

"Yeah...his hair kind of looks like a chocobo's ass." Zack grinned and laughed brightly. "It reminds me of him."

"You...like this boy?"

Zack's cheeks turned a little pink and he turned away to move back to the sofa, he set his mug down on the glass coffee table and looked at Cissnei who joined him. "Its...complicated." Cissnei nodded but said nothing of her thoughts, she was aware that the boy was being tailed by Reno and that they were even going out to the bar when they finished work. Did Zack know? She looked at him and thought he might. She gazed at the coffee table and saw a vase full of genuine flowers there, they were bright yellow and white. Instantly she knew where Zack had got them from and sent him another look as he began sending a message on his PHS.

"Have you seen Aerith recently?"

Zack looked up at her and blinked. "Hm. Not in a while, no. She sends me the flowers sometimes, it brightens up the room and they smell kinda nice."

"Tseng's still watching her." Cissnei said quietly, cupping her mug in both her hands and enjoying the warmth.

"Yeah, I guessed as much." Zack put his phone away and leaned back, he closed his eyes. "I'm dying of boredom here. I can't wait to be sent out on another mission..."

"I'm sure you will soon, they can't afford to keep you locked up for too long. There's not enough man power."

Zack shifted and frowned a little before asking a question that was bothering him. "Cissnei?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have any idea why the Turks are following Cloud?" He looked at her in the eye and she shook her head.

"Honestly? No. I have no idea. We're not given every single piece of information about our Marks but I think...I think it has something to do with Hojo." Her voice dropped and she glanced nervously at the door. "Your friend's been seen in and out of the labs several times in the past, I don't know why but it makes me uneasy. What Hojo's doing up there..." She shook her head and shuddered. "Gives me the creeps."

"Yeah, Hojo's a bit weird." Zack muttered absently as he processed what Cissnei had said. What interest did Hojo have in a mere infantryman? It was very odd.

"I've also heard that Cloud's from Nibelheim, right?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I know lots of things." Cissnei gave him a mysterious smile before continuing. "Well, isn't that where the ShinRa mansion is? I heard its where they used to do quite a few experiments in the past. Professor Gast worked there for a while and Hojo was his underling." Zack frowned into space, this was new information. He'd never been to Nibelheim so had no idea if ShinRa had any connection to it except for the reactor there. He decided he would ask Cloud about it when he got a chance. "Anyway, I have to be going. I don't want anyone to think I wasn't at my post." Cissnei put aside her cup and stood up. "I'll see you around, Zack."

"Yeah, bye." Zack smiled at her as she left the apartment to stand guard outside his door. He drank his coffee and frowned at the wall for a while as he considered what to do about Hojo's mysterious interest in Cloud. He looked at the calender on his wall and noticed that he had a check up session in the science department in two days, perhaps he could try to get some answers from someone up there.

XXX

Two days later Zack sat on a hospital style bed, he swung his legs back and forth absently as a woman in a white coat set up some instruments. He was topless and he noticed the woman eyeing him appreciatively. "Where's Hojo?" He asked suddenly, causing the woman to look up and blink at him. "Oh, he's busy." She said and smiled. "I'm just going to run some basic diagnostics to make sure you're in perfect health."

"Sure." He said and allowed her to put a blood pressure cuff on his arm. He watched as it was blown up and slowly deflated, the woman noted the results on some papers she had attached to a clip board. She ran through each test including blood samples and several swabs. When she was done she smiled. "Ok, we're done here. If you would just go through to the other room."

Zack grimaced and slid off the bed. "I hate this part." He muttered.

"They all do." The woman laughed as Zack followed her out of the room and into another. "You know the drill by now, I'm sure professor Hojo will be along in a moment. He generally likes to oversee the Mako infusions personally." She left Zack alone in a room with several tanks in, Zack sighed and leaned against the wall.

"Waiting is the worst part, is it?"

Zack looked up to find Sephiroth enter from another room, he had his coat hanging over his arm and his chest bared. He smiled. "Not really, it's afterwards that I hate." He smiled.

"I wouldn't know." Sephiroth replied slowly.

"What?"

Sephiroth's smile widened and he moved gracefully to the door, putting on his coat and opening it. "I wouldn't know, I don't have to be subjected to regular Mako baths. I'm not like you." He left, leaving Zack feeling oddly uncomfortable, what on earth had that meant? Hojo's appearance distracted him and he straightened up as the scientist exited the same room Sephiroth had just left. He was muttering irritably to himself as he flicked through some notes.

"Strange, very strange. I see no indication what so ever of it. Perhaps it is-" He broke off and looked up, pushing his glasses further up onto his nose as his eyes narrowed. "Ah, my next appointment." He said.

"Hey, professor?" Zack asked as Hojo began to ready one of the strange machines.

"What is it?" He snapped.

"I was wondering if you knew a boy named Cloud Strife."

Hojo paused and turned slowly, appraising Zack through narrowed eyes. "Why?" He asked.

"Well, he's a friend of mine and I heard he's been here a lot which is odd considering he's just an infantry soldier." Zack didn't mention that Hojo had already had his hands on him after he had been out on missions, he wanted to see what Hojo would admit if he feigned complete ignorance.

"You're that one who was with it when it came in after a mission, weren't you? It was injured and you didn't want me to take it."

"It?"

Hojo ignored him. "Yes, yes...it is a very interesting creature." He fell silent and stared at the tubes before him. "Anyway, we must get on with things."

Zack opened his mouth to speak again but closed it when Hojo ushered him into one of the tubes. Hojo was apparently stark raving mad, had he been talking of Cloud or something else? Maybe he was confused and thought Zack had been talking of a monster. Surely no one referred to people as 'it'.

Later Zack lay curled up on a bed in one of the rooms in the science department, his stomach churned and he could taste acid when he swallowed. His whole body ached horribly and he knew it would fade as time passed but he still hated every second of it. He was weak and disorientated, his eye sight blurry and his other senses painfully heightened. He groaned and rolled onto his back, wishing the Mako would hurry up and do its thing. The hours passed and slowly the sickness faded, Zack blinked and his vision cleared and he was finally able to sit up. He put a hand to his head and looked around just to make sure he was better. His hearing was sharper, his eye sight better, his body thrummed with energy and he grinned as he jumped down from the bed. He did a few experimental squats and then strode to the door, opening it and turning to the woman who sat outside. "Can I go now?" He asked and the woman smiled and nodded. "Thanks." he waved and walked away.

XXX

Zack returned to his apartment to find Cloud standing outside it with his arms folded across his chest, he looked up and when he saw Zack a smile graced his face. "Zack." He said and moved away from the wall, his hands twitched eagerly as if he was resisting throwing his arms around him.

"Let's go inside and you can tell me how you got up here." Zack said and opened his door, they went inside and the second the door closed Cloud really did throw himself at Zack. They stumbled backwards into the wall and Zack grabbed Cloud around the waist and lifted him easily to his lips, their tongues met and Zack's heart felt as if it was going to explode in his chest. They pulled away from each other, breathing heavily as Zack set Cloud back on his feet again. Their foreheads touched and they smiled. "So, how did you get up here?" He asked breathlessly.

"Your friend Kunsel let me up." Cloud smirked.

"I see, I'll have to thank him later." Zack dragged Cloud through the living room and into his bedroom, he once again lifted him into the air and threw him on the bed.

"I'm not a toy, Zack...don't toss me around like that."

Zack grinned as he crawled onto the bed after Cloud and kicked his boots off as he went. "It's fun." He said simply. "You're so small."

"Yeah, thanks. Making me feel real good right now." Cloud replied irritably, lifting himself up onto his elbows.

Zack smirked as he crawled up Cloud's body and pushed him back into the pillow, he leaned down and captured his lips in a slow kiss. "You don't know how much I missed you." He whispered, moving his lips down Cloud's jaw to his neck. "Hey, stop frowning. It doesn't suit you." Zack lifted a hand and smoothed away Cloud's frown with a thumb. "I've got tonight off, i'm all yours."

Cloud smiled at that and wrapped both arms around Zack's neck. "Then i'll make the most of it." He breathed and kissed him deeply. Zack pulled away again and moved down Cloud's body, reaching his waist and unzipping his fly. Cloud watched him through heavily lidded eyes as Zack freed his erection. He wrapped his fingers around it and squeezed gently watching Cloud's reaction intently and a small smile playing about his lips. Then he dipped his head and took Cloud into his mouth, making him gasp and arch off the bed. He sucked and felt Cloud's hands slide through his hair, moans began to fill the room and Zack used his tongue to massage the head. "F-Fuck...Zack..." Cloud thrust upward but Zack put a hand on his hip, stilling anymore movement. He kept at it, his head bobbing up and down as he increased his pace and Cloud was pink in the face. Cloud drew his legs up, his toes curled against the bed spread and he arched his back. "Zack..." He bit down on his bottom lip as heat pooled in his gut, his hips tried to move but Zack held them still and it was like torture. "I-I...Need..." Zack almost smiled as he worked Cloud into a panting, sweaty frenzy. He moved his free hand to Cloud's ass and gently pushed against his anus. That simple, intimate touch sent Cloud over the edge. Zack's mouth filled with semen and he swallowed it before pulling away, panting as he looked at Cloud. Cloud lay still, his chest rising and falling rapidly and a small smile on his lips. His eyes were hidden in his hair but he lifted a shaking hand and pushed it away turning them to Zack. "That was..."

"Amazing? Mind blowing?" Zack suggested as he leaned down and kissed Cloud, pushing his tongue into his mouth as he moved Cloud's hand to his own painful erection. "Wanna do a guy a solid?" He muttered and Cloud laughed softly.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: And so we reach the dreaded chapter. I posted this before a while back but since then I have made changes to it. Please enjoy.**

Chapter Fourteen: Nibelheim

They were all gathered in a meeting room on the SOLDIER floor. Cloud stood with his infantry fellows, he stood straight and rigid as Sephiroth walked before them and inspected them, he paused for a long time and stared at Cloud but said nothing as he strode away again. Zack followed after him. "So, where are we going?"

"Nibelheim." Sephiroth replied curtly. Cloud froze, his eyes wide as he watched everyone walk out the door, he took a shuddery breath and lifted his helmet, he put it over his head to cover his face. He wouldn't take it off, not even if someone threatened him.

The atmosphere was tense as they made the journey back to Cloud's home town. He sat in the back of the truck with his knees drawn to his chest and a frown on his face, Zack sat at his side and handed Cloud a canister of water, Cloud declined with a shake of his head. "Hey, you all right?" Zack asked softly as the truck hit a bump, Cloud's hand went to his mouth and he fought back the violent urge to puke. Zack put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. "I've got some tranquillisers if you need them."

Cloud nodded but didn't open his mouth in case he really did vomit. Zack handed him the drugs and Cloud took them, this time accepting the cannister. When they had taken affect he sighed in relief and leaned against Zack, burying his head in his chest as he unconsciously sought comfort. "I can't do this." Cloud mumbled, closing his eyes tightly.

"It's fine, the journey won't last forever." Zack replied with a smile.

"No. Not that. I can't go back." Cloud looked up and a flash of pain crossed his pale face. "They'll know. They'll all know!" He shook his head again and fell silent, pressing himself back against Zack.

"They'll know what?"

"That I...failed." Cloud replied softly. "She'll never forgive me."

"Who?"

"Tifa."

Zack tensed a little as he said that name again, his hand hovering uncertainly over Cloud's blond head. "Who is she, really?"

"A...friend." Cloud replied carefully.

"No. She's more than that, isn't she?" Zack shifted under Cloud's weight and looked up at the scenery out the back of the truck. "You keep saying her name."

Cloud's eyes opened a little and he stared at the floor. "Yeah. I guess you're right." Zack glanced at Sephiroth who sat with his arms folded across his chest and his eyes closed, seemingly asleep. Zack knew he wasn't.

"Is she...special?" He asked after a long pause in which only the engine could be heard.

"Kinda." Cloud muttered.

"Huh." Zack shook his head. "I had no idea."

"No, well, I doubt she's interested in me the same way I was her." Cloud sat up and leaned back against the wall of the truck, he lifted a hand to his head and swept hair from his face. His eyes drifted closed again. "I made a promise."

"What kind of promise?"

Cloud smiled a little. "To come to her rescue...if she ever needed it." His smile fell again as quickly as it had come and melancholy swept over him. "It's a promise I can't keep." He said and curled up again, knees at his chest and his chin resting on them.

XXX

Fear. That was what the emotion was. Sephiroth was unused to it, it was a strange sensation and it made him agitated. The gates to Nibelheim loomed out of the mist like giant steel guardians. The place was full of memories, of distant cries of anguish, it was hell on earth and he was walking right through its very gates. He paused and looked around, seeing Cloud standing as stiff as a door post with hands clenched tightly into fists at his sides. Pity rose within him, another emotion he rarely felt. It seemed today was a day for the unusual. "It has been a while since you have been back in your home town, correct? How does it feel? I wouldn't know as I do not have a home town...so I wouldn't know..." He gazed once again at the gates, his voice trailing off as he waited for Cloud's answer but before he could Zack cut in.

"Huh? What about your parents?"

Sephiroth considered the young SOLDIER before him, eyes as eager as ever, seemingly impervious to insult and threat. He smiled a little. "My mother's name is Jenova, she died right after giving birth to me. And my father..." He laughed softly and shook his head, one hand moving to it as he sought to fight back a sudden, rather violent onslaught of the voice. It had been getting stronger the closer they drew to Nibelheim, what this meant Sephiroth didn't know but it certainly didn't bode well. "Why am I even discussing this?" He breathed, mostly to himself as he regained his composure. "Let's go." He swept off through the gates, the longer he tarried the harder it would be to complete this stupid mission.

They reached the Inn, he could feel the tension in Cloud as if it were his own and he turned to see a girl of about the same age as him run over. She had long dark hair and a short skirt, she eyed them both curiously and seemed to be searching for something...or someone. Sephiroth looked at the trooper he knew to be Cloud and saw how rigid he was, he wondered why he was so reluctant to show his face, obviously there was some secret here. She talked to Zack, asking strange questions before running off again, leaving Zack looking confused. "We will begin our investigation of the Mako reactor tomorrow, I suggest that you all get some rest as vigilance will be of the utmost importance. Oh, that's right..." He turned to Cloud. "You have permission to visit family and friends if you so desire." He swept into the Inn and went to their designated room, he stood at the window gazing out upon the familiar scenery and feeling a sick sense of dread enter his very soul.

 **Soul? Hahaha...**

"Shut up." He muttered and winced a little as pain lanced through his head, the door opened to reveal Zack looking pensive.

"What are you looking at?"

Sephiroth didn't turn. "The scenery..."

XXX

 _Subject: If You'd Like... From: Cloud_

 _Hey, do you want to come over to my house? I want you to try Mom's cooking. The thing is, I haven't been home yet since I've been here. I hadn't been able to make up my mind about it, but I decided that I should show my face... but going home alone is a bit uncomfortable, so I was hoping you could join me._

Zack looked at his PHS and frowned at Cloud's message, he lay in bed and yawned as he sat up and rubbed his hair. Cloud wasn't in the bed beside his. He frowned a little and climbed off the bed, standing up and stretching. Dinner with Cloud's mother sounded promising. He grinned and got out his phone again.

Cloud shifted nervously as he stood outside the Inn, he kept checking his phone in case he had missed Zack's reply but he saw no messages. He chewed on his lip as he watched people move back and forth in the square, he wore his helmet so that none of them would recognise him. He earned a few curious glances but most people ignored him. Then he saw her. He held his breath as Tifa ran from her house, he could hear her voice and it was like being hit with a sledge hammer. She was talking to her father. Cloud's hands tightened into fists as the urge to flee almost overwhelmed him. Instead he held his position and watched her, just as he had before he had left. An outcast, doomed to do nothing but watch from afar. Tifa had grown up into a stunning girl, her long dark hair glittered in the sunlight, her smile made his breathing catch in his throat and as she passed him by his eyes fell downwards to watch her hips swinging. He swallowed and shook his head, forcing his eyes away and leaning back against the wall. He closed his eyes and remembered his promise. The promise he had broken. He sank down the wall and crouched on his haunches as he stared up at the familiar sky. He had spent years mooning after Tifa and when he had a chance with her he had blown it. However, he now had Zack. A small smile crossed his face just as his phone beeped. He took it out of his pocket and looked at the e-mail.

 _Subject: A plan! From: Zack_

 _Sounds good, Cloud. Can't wait to meet your mother, next time you'll have to meet mine. Although to be honest she'll make a huge fuss over you and berate me for not looking after you properly. Hey, does this mean you're going to admit that you love me? :p_

Cloud giggled and put a hand over his mouth as he saw the smiley. He shook his head and sighed.

 _Subject: … From: Cloud_  
 _Yeah...I guess I do._

Cloud hesitated before closing his eyes and pressing send. He gritted his teeth as he waited in anticipation for Zack's reply but none came. Cloud let out his breath and sighed in disappointment.

"Say it then."

Cloud yelled in surprise and leapt to his feet, overbalancing and tripping over a small stone. He fell forward and found himself caught by strong hands, slowly he lifted his head and looked up into Zack's beaming face. "Z-Zack...I..."

"Go on, say it."

Cloud flushed bright red and averted his gaze, he extracted himself from Zack's grip and tried to move away but Zack wouldn't let him. "I..." Cloud finally forced himself to meet Zack's gaze, his own eyes drifted down to his lips and he moved closer, standing on tip-toe. "I love you...Zack..." he said quietly and wrapped his arms around Zack's neck, dragging him down to him.

"That's what I needed to hear." Zack replied, closing the gap between them and pressing their lips together. When Cloud drew away he was positively beaming, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes sparkled in the sunlight. He ran his fingers through Zack's hair as the world disappeared around him. Everything was perfect. Joy exploded in his chest and he laughed softly. He wasn't alone. Despite his thoughts about Tifa, he wasn't on his own anymore. He had Zack. A man who loved him. "So, about that dinner?" Zack said quietly, drawing Cloud closer to him so that they were pressed against each other.

"Hm?" Cloud came out of his daze long enough to answer. "Tonight, can you come?"

"I'm not gunna miss a chance to see your mother." Zack replied.

"Good. I look forward to it." Cloud gently extracted himself from Zack and his smile widened. "See you at five then."

"Yeah." Zack watched Cloud turn and run off.

XXX

Cloud waited outside his mother's house, shifting from one foot to the other as he looked around for Zack. It was early evening and the sun was hanging low on the horizon, soon to be swallowed up by the mountains. The shadows stretched out like searching fingers. Cloud heard footsteps and saw Zack coming towards him, his smile lit up his face and he ran to him, taking his hand and pulling him towards the house. He opened the door without knocking and together they entered the house. Zack gazed around curiously, it was a large place with a huge kitchen and living area, all open plan. He let out a low whistle in appreciation and caught the attention of a blond woman at the stove.

She looked up, her eyes widening in surprise before she walked over to them. "Uh..." She began and Cloud reached up and removed his helmet finally. "C-Cloud?!" Her hands went to her mouth and her eyes filled with tears. "Welcome home, Cloud!"

"Hi, Mom." He replied and smiled uncertainly, Zack noticed the tension in his shoulders and wanted to put a hand on him to relax him but wasn't sure how well that would go down with his mother.

"Come, come, let me take a look at you." She said and moved closer to her son, inspecting him. Cloud turned his head away, his face heating with embarrassment. "Hmm. You look so handsome." She declared proudly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve as she sniffed. Her eyes moved to Zack and her smile widened. "Hello, I'm so sorry for being rude." She said and extended her hand. "I'm Cassandra Strife, you are?"

"Zack Fair, ma'am. It's nice to meet you." Zack said and took her hand. "If Cloud hadn't told me he was an only child i'd've thought you were his sister."

Cloud winced and rolled his eyes but his mother seemed to enjoy the flattery, she giggled. "My, aren't you the charmer!" She exclaimed. She turned back to her son and swept him once again with her eyes. "So, is this the SOLDIER uniform?" She asked.

Cloud looked away, hiding his face in his scarf and frowning. "No." He said quietly and moved to the beds that were near the kitchen. He tossed his helmet onto one of them. "Mom...I...I never made it." He confessed reluctantly and waited in silence.

"Cloud, it's ok." His mother said softly, moving towards him and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It's not the end of the world, everyone fails-"

Cloud shrugged her off and turned around to glare at her. "It's fine. I don't need you to coddle me." He said and moved back to where Zack stood feeling very awkward.

She sighed heavily and put her smile back on. "My, you've grown." She said quietly as she moved towards the kitchen again. "I'll bet the girls never leave you alone." She began pouring water into a large pot and put it on to boil. Cloud and Zack shared a look and Zack cleared his throat to avoid laughing.

"Not really..." Cloud said quietly as he moved to the living room and sat down. Zack joined him.

Cassandra sighed, reaching up and rummaging in a cupboard. "I'm worried about you, Cloud. There are a lot of temptations in the city." Cloud flushed brightly and put his head in his hands, Zack grinned broadly. "I'd feel a lot better if you settled down and got a nice girlfriend."

"Mom..."

She ignored Cloud's attempt to get her attention and began chopping vegetables. "You should have an older girlfriend, one that will take care of you."

"Mom..."

"I think that would be the perfect type for you." She turned and gave Zack a large smile. "I'm sure your friend there has a lovely girlfriend already, a handsome young man like you would be very popular."

"Yeah, I do actually. She's really pretty." Zack said and Cloud almost hit him, somehow he restrained himself. "Although she's a little bit shy." He said, shrugging.

"That's lovely." Cassandra put some carrots on to steam while she moved around and washed the knife she'd used in the large sink. "Cloud? Are you eating right?"

Cloud rolled his eyes again. "I'm all right, the company takes care of me." He muttered.

"Is that so? You can't cook, right? I was worried sick about how you were doing." She paused and turned to face her son who was avoiding looking at her, she frowned in concern. She moved over to the two boys on her sofa and knelt before Cloud, she took his hands in her own and looked into his eyes. "I'll always be your mother, Cloud." She said softly. "No matter what happens." She reached up and brushed a lock of hair from Cloud's forehead. "I love you."

Cloud pulled away from her and frowned. "Don't." He muttered.

She looked at him a moment longer before closing her eyes and smiling a little sadly, slowly she stood up. "Well then, I will get dinner on. Zack, will you be staying?"

"If that's ok?" He smiled.

"Of course, dear." She bustled off to the kitchen and Cloud shook his head. "So, Zack? What is it you do and how did you meet my son?"

"I'm SOLDIER First Class, Mrs. Strife." Zack replied. "I met Cloud on a mission up in Modeoheim, we got talking and realised we're both country boys."  
Cloud smiled and laughed a little, his mother turned around, looking at him with wide eyes. "What?" He asked, rapidly returning to his usual surly countenance.

"I just-No, never mind." Her smile was a little strained as she watched Zack with her son more carefully than before. "SOLDIER First Class? Isn't that like...Sephiroth?"

"Yeah. We're working together on a mission up at the reactor." Zack replied.

Worry creased her brow. "Is it...dangerous? You know I don't like you going up there, Cloud."

"Mom, for the last time I'm not a child anymore!" Cloud snapped suddenly, getting to his feet and glaring at his mother.

"Don't worry Mrs. Strife, I'll look after him. He'll come home safe, I promise." Zack reassured her gently.

"Yes...thank you." She gave him that same strained smile and turned back to her cooking. She listened silently to the boys as they talked in low voices, they were obviously close but there was something in the way Cloud acted around Zack that made her wonder. He obviously didn't have a girlfriend, what was his relationship with Zack? The way he had smiled at him made her curious, he hadn't smiled like that since he was very little.

"What's going on with Sephiroth?" Cloud asked Zack quietly, checking to see if his mother was listening.

"He's locked himself in the ShinRa mansion." Zack replied, shrugging a little. "Don't know what he's up to in there but I guess time will tell."

"Hmm. Maybe we should go check to make sure he's all right, I don't think he's-"

"Don't you dare go anywhere near that mansion!" Cloud's mother said and made them both jump. She clenched her hands into fists and gave her son a hard look. "That place is dangerous, stay away from it, do you understand me?"

"M-Mom...I'm a soldier in the army, I have to make sure Sephiroth is all right. Its my job." Cloud gave her a confused look and she relaxed a little.

"I'm sorry, I just don't like that place it gives me the creeps." She said softly and shook her head. Zack frowned as he saw a strange look pass over her face as she looked at her son, it looked like fear. Was she afraid of Cloud? Or was it just that she was afraid of ShinRa? He shook his head, perhaps he was imagining things.

After dinner Cassandra invited them to stay, Cloud was about to refuse but Zack interrupted him. "Cloud would love to!" He said brightly. Cloud gave him a glare and Zack smirked in response. That night Cloud fell into his old bed, gazing around the familiar walls that held memories he would rather have forgotten. He rolled onto his side and found himself wishing Zack was with him, he closed his eyes and sighed heavily. He wanted to forget everything before he had joined ShinRa, all the guilt and pain and loneliness. He wanted it all gone. Once again he found himself wishing he could be more like Zack, he wanted to be strong, heroic and confident. He buried his face in the pillow and hugged it.

XXX

The next day they went to the reactor under the expert guidance of Tifa, Sephiroth didn't bother asking Cloud to do it, there was no point as he seemed highly reluctant to reveal himself to these townspeople. He wondered again what would make him want to hide, but he pushed it aside as he gazed up the stairs to the reactor. A chill went through his whole body, almost as if someone were dragging a finger down his spine. A part of him, the part that felt sympathy, the part that felt guilt and pleasure and fear quailed at the feeling. It was ominous, something was happening, something was snow balling out of his control and he was useless to prevent it. Like water sliding through his desperately grasping fingers his fate seemed set upon this dark course, whatever that might be. He set Cloud to keep Tifa in check and took Zack into the reactor. Zack went further up the stairs while Sephiroth gazed into one of the pods that stood in row upon row, they were filled with Mako and inside were strange, twisted monsters. Again, that horrible creeping sensation up his spine, a voice, soft and feminine...

 **Hahaha**

Zack said something but Sephiroth ignored it, pushing the voice violently aside he spoke. "So, these are the cause of the operations abnormality. This part seems to be broken. Zack, open that valve please...why is it broken?" He frowned again at the monster, he wanted to be done as quickly as possible so that he could get out of this reactor, get out of this cursed town and back to Midgar where he understood things.

 **Hee hee hee...**

Zack peered into one of the pod's he uttered a shocked exclamation and fell back. Sephiroth looked at him, brow furrowed. "Normal SOLDIER are humans who have been showered in Mako. You are different from regular people but you are still human. Although, what are these? Compared to regular SOLDIER like you there's a much higher concentration of Mako in these ones."

"They're...monsters..." Zack breathed, obviously sickened by the thought.

 **Monsters indeed...Hahaha.**

"That's right...Hojo of ShinRa created these..." Sephiroth gazed at the pods, so many. How many men were sacrificed to these insane experiments? What was Hojo up to? What did this all mean? SOLDIER's were humans simply showered with Mako, like Zack...but Sephiroth could not remember any treatment like that that Hojo had done on him. Fear, a tingle in the back of his neck, frozen fingers down his spine. What did it all mean? "By using Mako energy he created these unnatural living monsters." He finished, keeping his voice steady, his expression impassive.

Then Zack asked the golden question; "Normal SOLDIER? Aren't you one? Hey, Sephiroth..."

 **My dear, did you not work it out yet? Hojo creates monsters, he has dedicated his whole life to this pursuit. Can you not put two and two together yet? My poor, sweet little boy.**

Sephiroth reeled as it all came crashing in on him. Every piece of information that had been scattered in his head finally clicked together like a puzzle, but the picture was utterly terrifying. He stumbled back a step, eyes wide as realisation struck him like a fist in the face. Genesis, Angeal, Hojo, Hollander...why? Why had no one told him anything? All his life he had worked on the assumption that he was human, that he was normal. "It cannot be..." He gasped, "I'm also..." His breathing hitched, his eyes moved upwards, towards the name engraved upon the steel above a door impossible to open. JENOVA. He felt sick. He felt violated. Lied to. Why? Why? Why? Hatred seethed inside him, scorching like the flames of hell as he tried to crush it, to think rationally.

 **And now he understands.**

"Was I also created the same way? Are you trying to say that I am the same as a monster?"

 **Hahaha...**

Sephiroth pushed Zack away as he attempted to go to his aid, he could barely even see him. His mind was moving too fast, he could barely comprehend every new revelation.

" _Now Sephiroth, lie still and it won't hurt a bit. We just need a little sample..."_

" _Of course you must be restrained, we cannot have you getting out like you did last time."_

" _No, you cannot have a play mate. You are not allowed to leave this compound. Why? Because I say so."_

 _They couldn't use my blood on Genesis when he was injured._

" _Hold still, boy, we are not done here!"_

" _Good, good..."_

" _Keep him under sedation, I have something I must check on."_

Growing up he had only ever seen the inside of a lab, white coats, cool smiles, false words of comfort. Pain and humiliation and constant torture. Humans. Humans did it. Humanity and their disgusting curiosity, their incessant need to explore every damned thing until it cracked and shattered in their clumsy fingers. "Ever since my childhood I could feel it, I was different to other people. I always thought I had some kind of special purpose. But...I didn't think it would be something like this. Am I even Human?" And he _had_ been different, he had been stronger, faster, _better_. He was more intelligent, a strategic genius, he had been unrivalled with the sword, his grasp of Materia use was perfect. Perfection. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. He felt sick.

 **Hahaha...**

"Unfortunately, no. You are a monster." Genesis' voice reached through the fog of recollection and forced him to look up, Zack was blasted away and when the Firaga hit him he deflected it with barely a second thought. He watched Genesis warily. "Sephiroth...you were born out of the Jenova Project, a perfect monster." Sephiroth's head began to hurt, Genesis spoke with Zack but he could barely follow it. His chest hurt, breathing was becoming difficult and so was retaining his composure, he would not allow himself to show weakness, not to Zack and certainly not to Genesis. "Pitiful Sephiroth, you've never met your mother and the only thing you know is her name, right? I have no idea what she looks like but what I do know is..."

"Genesis stop!" Zack's shout cut through Sephiroth's head like an ice pick. His mother...Jenova...a two thousand year old monster discovered by scientists and dug up. Used in human experimentation. Too much information, his head was getting worse and the constant laughter from the voice was not helping. Genesis wanted help...he was degrading and only his pure cells would prevent such a fate. He gazed at his long time friend, the one who had so long ago decided to start a prank war with the Turks, the one who had fought him viciously during training simply because he wanted to rip the title of Hero from him. Genesis, the last remaining person who knew him intimately. Genesis...his friend. "Are you trying to confuse me with everything you have said? Or is it what I have been searching for...the truth? Whichever it may be...You will _rot_." Anger. Hate. Confusion. They crowded his mind like so many rats on a pile of garbage. He turned and walked away.

XXX

The ShinRa mansion was dusty, old books, old equipment and even older air. Stale. Corrupt. Evil. Sephiroth sat in the library, searching through books, tattered copies of diary's, old text books and more. Papers upon papers upon papers, why wasn't anything in this damned place computerised? He read, he barely slept and refused to eat. For days he hid beneath the mansion, a rotting corpse of a time long forgotten, full of monsters like pests and worms. Decay and rot everywhere. Yet he stayed. He stayed and discovered the truth. It hurt. He was surprised by how much it hurt, yet it also brought back long suppressed memories, memories of this old place, memories of pain. Torment and anguish twisted his heart until he could barely breathe, he fought uselessly against the tides of emotion until it all overwhelmed him. In his search for information he discovered a slightly more recent text, it was written in familiar handwriting, neat and to the point. He read the title at the top of the page; Project C. C? He read further and felt something new stir inside him. _Cloud_...

XXX

Nervously Cloud walked down the wooden stairs into the basement of the ShinRa mansion, the boards creaked under his boots and the air was musty and cool on his face. He had heard that Sephiroth was down here and intended to make sure he was all right. According to Zack he had met Genesis in the reactor and had had an altercation with him, Cloud was concerned. He reached the corridor and walked along it, finding himself passing wooden doors. One of them was open with a slither of light shining through it. Cloud moved closer, peering cautiously around the door and spotting Sephiroth at the desk, pouring over some papers. "S-Sir?" Cloud said softly, causing the man to look up at him in surprise. A smile spread across his face and he beckoned Cloud forward, Cloud went reluctantly and found himself stood beside the desk.

"Did you know that Jenova was a creature that fell from the sky two thousand years ago?" He laughed coldly, the sound warping in echoes and making all the hair on Cloud's body stand on end.

"J-Jenova? Sir? Are you all right?"

"Me? I am fine." Sephiroth said quietly. He reached out and picked up a sheaf of papers, slightly newer looking than the rest. "However, you may not be." He thrust them at Cloud, forcing him back a step as he automatically clutched them to his chest. "You should read through these, it is very fascinating. Hojo's work is..." He trailed off, frowning down at the book in his hands. "Hm." He looked up into Cloud's wide eyed face. "Read." He demanded. Cloud swallowed and nodded as his shaking hands rustled the papers, he looked down at them and his lips parted as his eyes scanned the pages. _Project C_

Subject: Newborn infant

Date: XX/XX/XXXX

Our research into Project S has given us great insight into the way in which Jenova's cells can be used to enhance a human foetus. Project C will attempt to improve on Hollander's Project G, who was born a human and enhanced with cells during the essential developmental stages. Project S was a complete success, we intend to see if we can recreate it in Project C.

"P-Project...C?" Cloud whispered, looking at Sephiroth who was watching him curiously.

"A mere side line to Project S, yes. An imitation. Hojo was playing when he created it."

"Wh-what..." Cloud swallowed and stared into Sephiroth's eyes. "What does this mean?" He whispered.

"Read." Sephiroth repeated.

Cloud reluctantly dropped his eyes to the papers again.

 _The child is rejecting the cells. A most fascinating discovery. The Mako is not making a difference._

"S-Sephiroth...I..."

"Shh." Sephiroth frowned at his book before tossing it aside irritably. "Continue reading to the end."

 _The Subject's body has not improved. It has not changed in the slightest. We have taken samples from the subjects birth mother, Cassandra Strife, for comparison purposes it appears that she is as average as any other human. The results are inconclusive._

 __"C-Cassandra...Strife..." The papers fell from Cloud's limp hands and floated to the floor, he looked down at his birth date on the front page. "No." He breathed, his heart hammering in his chest until it was all he could hear. "No!" He stepped back a pace and heard Sephiroth chuckle.

"You see when I was six years old I was brought here by Hojo and watched as he took a child from its mothers breast. He brought it here and used it in a potential new project to spite Hollander...unfortunately the subject rejected my cells and became a failure. Isn't that fascinating, Cloud?" He looked at Cloud's white face. "You and I are not so different after all."

Cloud shook his head. "No. It can't...I can't...Sephiroth you're lying!" He screamed suddenly and Sephiroth jumped to his feet, he grabbed Cloud and pushed him against the desk.

"I do not lie, Strife. The experiments that made me were replicated on you. You are a failure. You were never given a number." Sephiroth reached up and brushed hair from Cloud's face, he could feel the boy trembling beneath his fingers and let his desire take control. He leaned in and kissed him. Cloud returned the kiss helplessly, his body trembled with fear and lust as heat stabbed viciously into his gut. He gasped and moaned as Sephiroth's fingers found his hair and yanked his head roughly backwards. "You are mine. Hojo created you for my personal pleasure." He said and lifted Cloud onto the desk easily, Cloud slumped against him, his will drained as easily as water from a broken glass. "So pretty...so perfect..." He whispered and Cloud's eyes fell closed.

"Zack...help me..." He muttered.

Sephiroth released him and laughed. "You call out for a human? Pathetic." He grabbed Cloud's face by the jaw and forced their eyes to meet, his twisted smile widened. "He cannot help you. No one can. You belong to me, no one else."

Sephiroth kissed him again and Cloud tensed, he shivered violently as he was released. "Please..." He whispered, eyes glazed and beginning to turn green.

"No. Not yet." Sephiroth backed away and stared at Cloud intently. "Go. Get out." He dismissed him and turned his back. Cloud had no choice but to obey. He slid off of the desk and stumbled out of the room, his foot stirring up the proof of his own inhumanity.

XXX

Zack looked up, startled as Cloud opened the door to their room at the Inn. "Hey, Cloud, how-" He faltered and his smile slid from his face as Cloud stood perfectly still, his breathing heavy and his head down. "What's wrong?" He said sharply and moved forward, Cloud lifted his head, eyes wide and full of confusion and terror.

"D-Did...did you know?" He hissed, panic flickering in his eyes.

"About what? Cloud, what's going on?"

"No...I guess you didn't..." Cloud brushed past Zack and fell onto the nearest bed, he put his hands to his head and closed his eyes tightly. "She lied to me." He breathed. "Everyone lied."

"Cloud, talk to me." Zack moved forward cautiously and Cloud lifted his head, showing him those acidic green eyes and cat-like pupils. "What...what is going on?!" Zack took a half step back as Cloud sat up.

"I'm a monster." He breathed through his teeth, grabbing his head in both hands.

Zack stiffened, a frown darkening his face. "I've heard those words before." He said quietly. "They weren't true then and they're not true now. Tell me what happened!"

Cloud laughed suddenly, the sound cold and humourless. "Human experiments...Of course...its all so obvious! I was so stupid not to see it before." He shook his head and frowned. "Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm...not human." He whispered, looking up at the man he had fallen in love with. "Hojo...he...took me when I was a baby...I don't know what he did, I don't really understand it but...I-I...I didn't meet his standards. I was branded a failure." His voice hitched and he slumped side ways onto the bed. "I wanna be alone." He whispered.

Zack watched him for a moment before moving and sitting down at his side, Cloud hid his face but Zack lay beside him and wrapped him in his arms. He held him close to his chest and buried his face in his hair. He could feel him trembling. "Cloud, I love you. I'm not going anywhere." He breathed.

XXX

Cloud woke with a start, eyes wide as he stared up at the Inn's ceiling. Beside him Zack slept on, soft snores the only sound. Slowly he stood up, he was still in his uniform but his feet were bare, his toes curled as they hit the cold wooden floors and he stood up. Something was calling...an irresistible voice, something tugging him forward. He couldn't prevent himself from following. The mansion lay dormant, almost as if it were asleep. Cloud saw the gates unlocked and stepped inside, his feet were numb from the cold mountain air and he moved with a sluggish gait as if he were sleep walking but he was still concious. He was being drawn in, his body utterly out of his control yet a peace settled into his mind, he had to answer the call, it was all that mattered. Inside it was dusty, no monsters bothered him as he crept silently across the decaying carpet. It was damp and cold and smelt of rotting wood but he moved forward, up the sweeping stair case and towards the rooms on the right hand side. Through one room and into another towards the large stone fireplace. It opened to reveal an entrance to the basement and he stepped inside, creaking down the ancient wooden stairs and passing several doors. One of them was locked firmly, he only glanced at this one before moving on again. The room he was heading towards was open, a soft light streaming out as if from old gas lamps. He stepped past the threshold and saw what had called him, his ultimate goal. Sephiroth looked up and smiled, but it wasn't his usual smile, it was a smirk. His eyes glowed in the dim light from a lamp sitting upon a desk, it highlighted his silver hair and his beautiful face. Slowly he beckoned and Cloud was helpless to resist.

 **Come to me, Cloud. My beautiful one...my...**

No. This was all wrong. Sephiroth did not look like himself, he was drawn, ragged, half on the edge of insanity. But Cloud stopped before the desk, noting that it was scattered with books. "I knew there was something different about you." Sephiroth said, his voice soft and resonant, beautiful like the rest of him. Those demonic eyes slid over Cloud's body, forcing a shudder from him as if he had been touched. Heat filled his body, a heat he had only felt with Zack. His lips parted a little as if he were about to speak but Sephiroth stood gracefully and moved around the desk, he stood over Cloud, lifting a hand to take hold of his chin. "Cloud, you were made for me." He breathed and leaned down, their lips met and it was as if Cloud had been hit by Lightning materia. His body tensed, his eyes widened and he felt a hot tongue invade his mouth. He groaned helplessly. His eyes drifted closed, his body was flushed with heat, he wanted...he needed... "Sephiroth..." he breathed, unaware of his voice escaping. He sank into the embrace, allowing the kiss despite the dull sense of fear creeping into the back of his mind.

 **My beautiful, precious Puppet.**

"No." Cloud muttered against his lips, eyes still half closed, body still too compliant. Sephiroth chuckled, a humourless sound that sent shivers rocketing through Cloud's body. "Yes." He hissed and pushed Cloud against the desk, he hit it and grunted. Sephiroth turned him around, one hand clutching the back of his neck painfully until he found his face inches away from a slightly yellowed document. He stared mindlessly at the title, his mouth opened as if he were about to scream but no sound came out.

 _Project C_

He re-read the now familiar handwriting and felt a crawling sensation in his spine. It was torture. Sephiroth was torturing him, reminding him yet again of the fact that he wasn't human, he wasn't normal. The information slid past his brain, barely even registering. He closed his eyes as Sephiroth ran his free hand down Cloud's side towards his trousers. He felt his head hit the desk with a thud. He felt them removed, he felt hot breath against the back of his neck, the position one of utter domination.

 _No..._ _No, please stop..._

Fingers slid slowly into his aching, over heated body. A soft sound escaped his lips as his hands clenched into fists above his head. The hand on the back of his neck tightened, the leather glove was cool against him. His hips pushed backwards against the intruding fingers, he recognised the pleasure twisting him up inside as if he had been filled with writhing snakes. He gasped again, Sephiroth chuckled into his ear. "Now I will claim what is mine." He whispered and Cloud heard his belt unbuckling.

Pain. Pain and pleasure slowly building until he couldn't think. His body was useless. Struggling was useless. He was lost. Lost in a sea of confusion, a sea of sickly green light and gasps and pants and sweet, intoxicating kisses. His world filled with roses, vanilla and a myriad of other scents that assaulted him as he was pushed ever harder against the desk. His teeth bit into his bottom lip and his nails gouging at the wood. It was wrong. It shouldn't be happening, not like this. His hero. The man he had so admired for so long...and he was helpless.

 _Help me. Someone...anyone..._ _Zack..._

That familiar twisting in his gut, the gasp that escaped his bruised lips as he was pushed against the wood now at his back. Sephiroth's hands fuelled the fires within him. Pain. Pleasure. Pain. In equal succession. All he could think of was fire, fire and heat and lust and he couldn't take anymore. "AH!" It escaped his lips despite his battle to hold it in, Sephiroth's smile was triumphant and he leaned in, his tongue sliding out and a hand curling possessively around Cloud's throat as he came. Cloud's eyes slipped closed, his chest heaving and his body aching. He was sticky and hurting and so, so tired. The word sent emotions swirling inside him, two opposing emotions; hatred and desire at war with each other as he looked up into those terrifyingly beautiful eyes.

" _Mine_." Sephiroth whispered and Cloud felt himself slipping, going down and down into a darkness so complete he wondered if he hadn't died.

XXX

Zack woke when the door opened, he sat up, yawning and rubbing the back of his hair as he spotted Cloud move into the room. His first thought was that he was sleep walking, his second was that he had been in a fight, his third was confusion. Cloud was hunched over, clutching his uniform top tightly around his chest, his head was bowed and his feet covered in grime and dirt. Where had he gone without shoes? Zack stood up and moved closer, Cloud didn't look up but violently flinched when he tried to to touch him. "D-Don't..." He muttered, his voice hoarse and shaky. Cloud was visibly vibrating and his teeth chattering, when he finally did look up at Zack his eyes were wild with animalistic terror.

"Cloud...what happened?" Zack asked sharply, his fingers itching for his sword. He inspected his friend closely, his jacket hung off one shoulder and Zack noted very human teeth marks, small round bruises covered his neck and he could see several deep red scratches beginning at the base of his neck. "C-Cloud?" His voice dropped, his eyes widened as Cloud shuffled past him and threw himself on the bed, curling up into a ball and covering his head with both hands. His breathing came in great gasps, Zack hovered uncertainly by the bed, the creeping certainty that he knew what had happened steeling slowly through his mind. "Who?" He muttered, voice dropping, becoming low and hard, his killers voice. He rarely felt true anger about anything much, he had never seen the point in it, but now it seethed through him, making his eyes glow brighter, his muscles tense. Cloud shook his head, his lips pressed tightly closed. He wanted his sword, he would use it against whoever had hurt Cloud, he would slice them into tiny pieces until they were little more than a pool of blood. He moved without realising he was moving but fingers on the back of his uniform stopped him, he felt Cloud press his head against his back, those fingers tightening.

"Please...don't." Cloud breathed, gazing down at his dirty feet. He knew that Zack was furious, he knew that he would gladly run into a battle with even Sephiroth to avenge him but something made Cloud stop him, oh he was concerned for Zack's safety, of course he was but it was more than that. It was the lingering tingles racing across his skin, it was the memory of those lips against his own, it was the sickening fact that, despite it all, he had enjoyed it. He had _wanted_ it. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly and held on to Zack, unable to let go for fear that he would disappear forever and he would be alone...so, so alone. Deep down inside he too was a monster. "Please." He muttered again, his voice pathetically weak and his legs shaking. Slowly Zack relaxed and turned around, he took Cloud's face in his hand and brought their lips together. The kiss was soft and sweet and made warmth blossom in Cloud's chest, it was perfect. He sighed at the contact and wrapped his arms around Zack's neck, drawing himself closer, letting his bare, bruised chest press against Zack's own. "You can't leave me. Promise me, you'll never leave me." Cloud whispered, desperation driving his words, his heart. He was afraid. He had never been so afraid in all his life.

"I won't leave you." Zack replied, responding to the kiss, deepening it, turning it into something far more passionate, far more exciting. He guided Cloud to the bed and pushed him gently down on it, he heard him grunt softly as if in pain and drew away. "Hey, you all right?" Cloud nodded, his eyes dark and soft and so trusting. Zack smiled and kissed him again, he wasn't going to allow this opportunity to slip through his fingers. He couldn't bare the thought of someone else's hands over Cloud's body, he had to erase the taint. He had to make sure Cloud was never alone again. Fuck ShinRa. Fuck rules. Fuck everything...tonight he was Cloud's and Cloud's alone.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: A very short chapter here, this is because I didn't want to embellish it too much and basically most people know what happened at this point. I want to keep this bit short and sweet. I hope everyone is enjoying this story, despite my issues with uploading the chapters, spelling and grammatical errors and all the other rubbish.**

Chapter Fifteen: Pride and Honour

Cloud watched intently, lips parted as Zack sat back on his knees and undid the clasps of his armour. He threw it to the floor and lifted his top over his head. That too was cast aside. His chest was muscular and wonderfully familiar as Cloud ran his hand over it, moving down to his belt and yanking him down to his lips again. Zack was gentle, whispering comforting nonsense into Cloud's ear as he slipped Cloud's top off. The memory of Sephiroth slowly faded to the back of his mind as Cloud focussed entirely on Zack. On his tongue, his lips, his body. Cloud's back arched a little as Zack's lips found their way down his chest to a nipple. His hand, now gloveless, slid up Cloud's thigh and slowly undid the zip of his fly. Cloud watched him, memorising every facial expression, every soft word, every inch of him. He licked his lips and sat up, wrapping his arms around Zack's neck and kissing him deeply. His hand rose and he placed his finger tips just beneath Zack's sky blue eyes. He looked into them for a long time. "I love you." he whispered, voice hoarse as he put every ounce of feeling into it he possibly could.

Zack smiled. "I know." He replied. "I love you too." He held Cloud close, burying his face in the crook of his neck as he pushed one hand into his hair and closed his eyes, he shivered a little as a chill ran down his spine. The moment almost felt like good bye. His heart ached and an undeniable sadness seeped into his very bones.

"Z-Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"Make love to me." Cloud's voice cracked a little as he untangled himself from Zack's embrace and lay back, he slid his trousers down his hips and continued to keep eye contact. "I-I need you." Zack let out a slow breath before pulling off his own trousers and once again moving in for a kiss. Zack moved slowly, one arm wrapped around Cloud's waist as he thrust his hips forward. He watched Cloud's face contort, his back arch and leaned down to breath in his scent.

 _I'll never leave you._

He gasped, body trembling as he ran soft kisses down Cloud's exposed throat. He closed his eyes and drank in the moment. Every sense heightened to painful proportions. Heat. Pleasure. He swore under his breath, his hand moving to Cloud's leg and lifting it up slightly to give himself better access. "Zack!" Cloud's voice rose and Zack smothered it with a kiss.

 _I love you._

A small frown creased his brow as he pulled away enough to adjust his position again. Cloud moaned, eyes fluttering closed, hands reaching for him. He made him cry out again, he tipped his head back as sweat trailed down his spine.

 _Smile for me. Always smile, Cloud._

He leaned down again, bracing himself on his hands, gripping a handful of the sheets as he thrust deeper, pressing his forehead against Cloud's and sharing his breath. The room filled with the soft sounds of heavy breathing, panting, groans and muttered whispers. He kissed Cloud's jaw, tasting his sweat and muttering his name over and over until it formed a nonsensical litany.

 _Please, let this last forever. I don't want to let him go._

Cloud wrapped both legs around his waist and drew him deeper. Their lips met again and their tongues tangled. Zack felt the tension rippling through Cloud's body and knew he was close. He let himself go completely, moving harder and faster and forcing Cloud's voice from him in ever increasing volume. Cloud's eyes finally opened, his lips were parted, swollen from so much kissing. They searched Zack's face and then went slightly blank, a soft hiss of air escaped his mouth and he trembled. Zack watched Cloud come undone, enjoying the sight and recording every second. As he gazed into Cloud's eyes he felt himself fall over the edge himself.

 _This is it. This is my dream. To be with him forever._

Finally Zack's arms gave way and he collapsed, panting and exhausted onto Cloud. He took a deep shaking breath and slowly pulled out, hearing Cloud mumble something sleepily. "Love you too." He replied, rolling over and pulling Cloud close to his chest, holding his head right next to his heart.

Cloud closed his eyes and fell asleep, wrapped up in Zack's arms, listening to his steady heartbeat. A smile curled his lips, Sephiroth, ShinRa, human experiments, all a distant nightmare. With Zack he was safe, he was loved and he was not alone.

XXX

Everything had gone horribly wrong. Zack stood in the door way to the Inn and stared out at the burning town, eyes wide and uncomprehending in his pale face. He saw people screaming, running back and forth in sheer panic. How had this happened? Why was it happening? What was he supposed to do? He swallowed and turned to find a collapsed infantry soldier on the floor, groaning a little. So he was still alive. He didn't have time to check his wounds. He turned towards the steps leading to the path into the mountain and there he was, shrouded in flame, silver hair shining red and gold. A smile curved his mouth, but it was far from friendly, his sword dripped blood and he spoke...

"Now is the time for the reunion."

Zack had no idea what that meant but he wasn't about to just let Sephiroth get away with this...the slaughter of innocents. This was not what SOLDIER honour was about. This was not supposed to be happening. It was cruel, too cruel. He flew after Sephiroth, panic and terror mingling with his anger. His feet pounded the path before him, his thoughts utterly focussed on Sephiroth.

XXX

"Mother let's take this planet back together. I've thought of a very good plan. Let's go to the Promised Land together. Mother."

"Sephiroth! Why did you kill the villagers? Why did you hurt Tifa? Answer me Sephiroth!" He was stood behind the general, shouting to gain his attention, demanding answers to the tragedy of flame and smoke.

"Ha ha ha. Mother those people have shown up again. With mother's strength and knowledge she should have been this planet's ruler. But those people...those people who took everything. The planet was taken from mother wasn't it? But, don't be sad anymore mother. Let's go together..." Sephiroth pulled the front of the monstrosity free, bringing with it spurts of liquid. "Finally we meet mother..." He gazed upon the creature he had been born from, a vaguely humanoid female with strange silvery-blue skin and a headdress covering her silver hair. The voice in his head laughed with pure, unadulterated joy. He had done what he had been born for, he had taken possession of his new toy in the dank basement of ShinRa mansion, the place it had all begun. He now stood on the precipice of his...no, his mother's, ultimate goal.

 **Come, my son.**

"Sephiroth! What's gotten into you?! Sephiroth I trusted you..." Zack shouted again, it was becoming more and more difficult to contain the fury rushing through his veins. "No...You're no longer the Sephiroth I once knew."

"I am the chosen one, the chosen one to rule over this planet." Slowly Sephiroth turned to face his enemy, this pathetic, weak little human. What chance did he have against strength such as his? Together once again with his Mother, he was unstoppable.

XXX

Cloud ran up the steps to the reactor, once he got there he had no idea what he would do but he was angry. Furious. His town. His people. His mother. Tifa. Everyone he had ever known had been hurt or killed. Sephiroth had ripped everything from him and sent it crashing down around his ears, in fire and heat and smoke and choking, cloying death. Everything gone. Everything. His shattered soul screamed for revenge, his heart pounded in his ears until it obliterated everything, as he drew closer up the metal stairs he could hear fighting within. Zack. No. He couldn't take that from him.

 _Not Zack. Please, not Zack._

Panic threatened to overwhelm him but a soft voice laughed at him and his anger returned, overpowering all other emotion, overpowering the voice. He ran. Zack came flying out of the room, he fell down the stairs and crashed into one of the strange pods. He lay there, head back, gasping, struggling for breath. Cloud ran past him, grabbing the incredibly heavy buster sword from where it stood by the door, he charged without thought and used his anger to drive his strength. The blade pierced Sephiroth like a hot knife through butter. Blood stained the silver hair, the glass container he was stood before cracked and leaked and Cloud yanked the sword back out. He turned and fled, crashing down the stairs as he went to check Tifa first, he knew Zack was alive, he could hear him breathing. She seemed unconscious, her eyes closed, her hair falling in front of her face which was twisted in pain. He hadn't been there, he should have saved her. Guilt broke through his anger, a sharp stab of ice that took his breath away. Gently, almost lovingly he set her aside, out of the way as Sephiroth stumbled out of the room, gripping something in his hand and the anger was back.

He heard Zack urge him to finish it, he took up the sword once again. It was oddly light in his hand, despite its incredible length. He ran at his enemy again, screaming a name as he went. Anger. Pain. Hate. Hate. Hate. He wanted to kill him. He wanted to see the blood staining the steel of his sword, he wanted to scream and cry and end everything here and now. For Tifa. For his mother. For the town. _For Zack_.

He barely noticed the agony searing his chest as a slither of pure ice invaded his body. He was choking on coppery blood, he could feel it soaking into his clothes. The pain was bright, exquisite in it's vibrancy. He was alive. Alive and pumping crimson everywhere. And Sephiroth's face was cruel, it was smirking and beautiful and he wanted to be kissed again but no...he wanted to end it. He had to. For Tifa. For his mother. But most of all for Zack.

 _Do you see? You need to find your reason for living; find it and fight for it._

His hands closed around the cold metal, the blade pierced through his gloves, leaving matching wounds over both palms and he tightened his grip. He gritted his teeth, red covered them as he used his weight to regain the floor. Tears of pain, of rage and betrayal all sprung to his eyes and then...

"Impossible." Sephiroth gazed at him in surprise, eyes wide and uncomprehending as he was hoisted into the air by the tiny boy. Cloud's eyes burned brightly in his face but remained their bright blue. Cloud dredged up the very last of his waning strength, he threw Sephiroth into the side of the reactor. Bursts of bright light. The sound of smashing metal and then silence. Pulling the sword out sent another wave of agony flaring through his body, his nerves tingled and he could feel himself losing the battle to stay on his feet. He gasped in a deep breath and moved towards the exit of the strange room, barely even listening as the voice laughed in his head. He finally collapsed and slid down the stairs, each thud barely felt as darkness scattered his mind to the four winds. His vision blurred and he vaguely saw Zack through the haze. He reached for him, arm rising only to fall back to his side as conciousness fled. The last thing he heard was Zack's voice, a soft comfort as pain and anger drained away.

 _You did good, Cloud._


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: A short chapter this time, mostly because its an intermission to cover the years in which Zack and Cloud were at Nibelheim until their escape. I've also kind of changed the way I write in Cloud's thoughts because...well...it IS inside his head and I wanted to highlight that. Anyway, please enjoy.**

Chapter Sixteen: Intermission

 _Nibelheim, 1900 hrs_. _Mission: extract, secure and erase_.

Reno stood beside the burnt out wreckage of the Inn, he watched as military officials and grunts ran around like headless chickens. The fires had been doused but things were still smouldering, he could see curls of smoke drifting up into the darkening sky. It was cold in the shitty little ruined town. It was cold and there was something so huge happening it was way beyond Reno's comprehension. Tseng was on edge and not saying anything, but Reno could tell something was getting to him, so could the others. It was tense, no one knew what was going on or where they stood now. They were in the dog house for sure but how long would the president tolerate them? They knew too much, they had too many skills that could so easily be used against the company. They were a loaded gun and the president had no idea which way it was pointing. Either he kept the Turks loyal or he attempted to destroy them. Reno was hoping for option one. It was then that a large party descended from the mountains, Reno looked over to them. He spotted Tseng and, with a glance over his shoulder, alerted the others.

They followed. Cissnei, Rude, and Veld. He looked at his comrades, his friends, and saw the same emotions reflected in their eyes as he was feeling himself; uncertainty. Uncertainty in their own fates, uncertainty in their jobs. Uncertainty in their own lives. Who knew if they would survive this fuck up? They all knew no one retired from the Turks, you went home in a body bag or not at all. Reno had seen it, he'd nearly been there. The future was bleak. They moved forwards, walking closer to Tseng and the others of the party just reaching the ShinRa mansion. "Yo!" Reno called, catching Tseng's attention and causing him to blink.

"Reno, have you finished with the bodies?"

"Bodies cleaned up, dumped over there for funeral rights." Reno smirked a little at that, it was the same whenever there had to be a mass destruction of bodies. They would burn. Burn and burn until nothing was left.

"Good..." Tseng was distracted as a group of four infantry soldiers walked by carrying a stretcher. Lying on it, obviously wounded, was a dark haired man.

"Is that...?" Cissnei's eyes were wide but Reno nudged her with his elbow. Keep quiet. No questions. He spotted the hitch in her breath, the way her hands gripped each other at her chest, she was in pain and it wasn't physical. Another stretcher passed them, this one containing a blond boy in infantry blues, Reno's heart went cold, his eyes widened as he watched it pass by. Into the mansion.

"Tha's Cloud, yo..." He muttered softly, so that those by the mansion couldn't hear him. Tseng looked at him, his expression almost unreadable but Reno saw it. It was a reflection of what they were all thinking.

"The blond one...Cloud?" Tseng began, lowering his tone and moving closer, eyes darting around the busy pathway. "He was the one who destroyed Sephiroth who went insane and killed everyone here." Silence. Reno looked over Tseng's shoulder and watched the boy disappear into the darkness.

"Tha' skinny runt?" He whispered, feeling somewhat awe struck and sad at the same time. "Why isn' he gettin' medical attention, yo?" Tseng's face darkened as a group of people in white coats appeared, one man leading them. Back hunched, hands clasped behind him and glasses flashing in the flames of the mass pyre. Hojo. He sucked in a breath through his teeth and felt his colleagues wince collectively. They were fully aware of what happened in the hands of that psycho scientist.

"They deserve to be decorated...not thrown away, not like this." Cissnei whispers into her hands, tears springing to her eyes.

"I ask all of you to keep quiet about this, SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair and Cadet Strife are officially dead. It has to be this way. We cannot do anything." Veld said firmly, watching his Turks with a shrewd expression on his face. Cissnei caught her breath and let it out again slowly, she closed her eyes and steadied herself. "Yes sir." She said finally. Reno watched the rest of the party enter the mansion, and again he felt that emotion...they all felt it, like stagnant air clinging around their bodies. Fear. It reeked, it was uncomfortable. Reno didn't wear it well, none of them did. But wear it they did.

"No askin'...not our place, yo." He whispered and turned away, shoving his hands deep into his pockets as they lit more fires in the pits where the bodies of nameless, faceless people had been dumped. He looked up at the sky and wondered how such a skinny kid managed to save the world.

XXX

First there were the voices, soft whispers in his head. He pushed them away. Then there was the dull pain. He didn't like that anymore than he liked the voices. Then there was green. So much green. Green...everywhere. _Am I...dead?_ No, not dead. He could feel his body, his head, his arms, his shoulders. His fingers and toes. Yes, he was still alive. His eyes wouldn't open, it seemed he had no control over his body. So, not dead but not in control either...unconscious? It was a strong possibility. The colours were beautiful, faintly he could smell flowers, the scent reminded him of some distant time, a time when he had been young and free and in love. When had that been? He didn't know. The flowers...a church? Maybe. A soft, sweet voice... _I remember_...

Aerith. A flower girl. Pink ribbon. A single date and 23 little wishes.

Something else too. Something important. What was it? Oh yes...blue eyes, the colour of the spring sky. Blond hair, a soft, gentle smile. The scent of honey and warmth and good, home cooked meals. Ah, yes. Beautiful. A sadness, a deep abiding sadness and a fear there too, yes, he remembered seeing that fear taint that beautiful blue. And softness, soft hair, soft skin. He tasted like wood smoke and warm milk. A name...

 _Cloud_.

Yes, Cloud. He was floating, just drifting on half formed memories. It was good, not to feel pain or anger or despair.

 _Zack..._

His name. Yes. That was important too. There was something else, something he should remember...

 _Embrace your dreams..._

That's right, good...

 _...If you want to be a hero you need to have dreams...and Honour._

Dreams and honour, yes, he remembered those. A dream of Cloud, of holding him close, of warmth and love and sweat and entwined bodies.

 _I promise I won't leave you._

He thinks he smiles, although in this place it's a little hard to tell. Angeal would be waiting, arms crossed over his broad chest, a smile on his face and pride in his eyes. Yeah, he would make him proud. Flashes of memory, a time when he had been innocent. His dreams so simple, his life so easy and carefree. Bliss. His mother, his father, Gongaga village. So sweet, he remembers the taste of his mothers cakes, he remembers the feel of his father's work calloused hand as it clapped him on the shoulder. He remembers...remembers... Something happened. Something changed...didn't it? Something dark and scary and he doesn't want to go there. Green eyes, a smirk, flames, smoke. Hell. Oh... Zack's eyes sprang open, he gasped and felt agony tear through his head as if it had been cleaved by a sword. He almost screamed but it came out as a rough groan.

"Professor! Professor, the subject is awake!" His head was pounding behind his eyes, he could feel the pressure of restraints around his wrists and clenched his hands into two tight fists.

"Then put him out again, I have no time to baby sit you!"

"O-of course..." The woman hovering over him was scared, Zack looked directly at her and she swallowed hard before lifting a needle and jabbing it harshly into his tightly corded neck. All he could do was utter a soft curse, but even that was finally lost as he floated once again but not before he had the time to spot a flash of yellow-blond over the other side of the room. Cloud.

XXX

 _Say it then._

Z-Zack...I...

 _Go on, say it._

 _I...I love you...Zack..._

XXX

 _How can you call yourself a SOLDIER? I don't need such a pathetic SOLDER._

 _Angeal! WAIT!_

XXX

 _Those wings..._ _I want them too..._

XXX

Once again his eyes opened, this time he was in some sort of cylindrical container, he was surrounded by softly pulsing green light and as he turned his head he could clearly see that Cloud was beside him. Now was his chance, he would escape. He had to.

 _Cloud, hang in there._

XXX

Breathing was hard. His heart was hammering inside his chest like a trapped bird in a cage. He was dying, he knew it and he was scared. Scared as hell. He didn't want to die, not yet. He couldn't remember who he was or why he was dying, he couldn't remember anything but pain and pain and more pain. The heartbeat starts, a soft whine split his head in two, he screamed into the darkness but no one could hear him. He was trapped like a butterfly in a crushing hand. He was bruised and beaten and so, so defeated. Everything was gone. Everything he couldn't and wouldn't remember was dead. Everything was darkness, the soft whine, the loud, thudding heart beat the only things he was aware of.

 **My beautiful puppet.**

 _No. No. Not again. Please._

He couldn't take anymore. He was being crushed beneath the weight of his own despair. The darkness was heavy, like a death shroud. He wanted it to end. He wanted to quit.

 **Is this all there is? I thought you had more fight left in you.**

He was frozen. Trapped. A prisoner inside his own body. He was aware of the outside, he was looking at it through a haze of bright mako green. It was all blurs and colours and soft voices, meaningless whispers and then more darkness. More pain. What were they doing to him? Why did he hurt so damned much? His memories were gone. Just like that. His past a big blank canvas on which the artist still had yet to paint. He only knew one thing...the voice in his head, the heart beat that wasn't his own. It pervaded everything and he wanted it. He needed it. He was craving it. Hot bodies twined impossibly upon a hard wooden desk, papers scattering, cries of pleasure. Sweet, sweet unbridled passion. Soft whispers, warm, soft hands over his naked flash. Sharp pain of teeth and nails and then bliss again. He was coming undone. He was screaming internally for it stop, for everything to just end but his cries fell on deaf ears.

 **You remember me, Cloud. Even if your head does not, your body will forever be engrained with my will. You can never escape. I will never be a memory.**

Escape? Impossible. He was trapped, like a dog in a cage. " _Interesting, very interesting."_ He can see but he can't see. It was mostly just blurs and light and that horrible laughter. Cold hands held him still and the prick of a needle dug deep into his flesh. He moaned, and his eyes slid shut.

 **You're not dying. You are my...**

 _No_.

 **Puppet.**

A puppet with its strings cut, a useless doll without a master. Who was he? What was his name? He couldn't remember. The pain was comforting, almost like a faithful companion. He knew it and it knew him, it was better this way. He didn't want to remember. He wanted to erase it all, even down to the last shiny shred of a smile that lingered on an all too familiar face. He was standing in a deep well, an abyss of utter darkness and screaming at the top of his lungs as fire invaded his veins and his body was warped and changed until he couldn't recognise it anymore.

Slowly a memory surfaced; eyes the colour of the summer sky, dark hair surrounding a smiling face. Hot, feverish kisses in the dark. An Inn. A smile, brighter than the sun. A brief explosion of perfection before everything is destroyed. A name. Not his name. Not _their_ name. _Zack._ He blinked. The darkness around him flickering momentarily as his memories threatened to return.

 _Zack? Who is..._

Zack Fair, SOLDIER First Class. Friend...lover.

 _I know you...I remember..._ _I love you._

 **Meaningless words. Emotions? You don't need them. Cloud, remember me. When you are alone, in the darkest of the night, remember and I will call.**


End file.
